Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

It actually made news when Jon Hamm, one of many breakout stars from the series Mad Men, proclaimed that he has no desire to ever get married.  Men everywhere exalted the behavior of the borderline-misogynist, alcoholic, philandering, double-life-leading Don Draper.  Such is the nature of the beast, they rationalized.  Now they can elevate him to god-like status as he made it clear in an interview with Parade magazine that doesn’t want to get married, saying: “I don’t have the marriage chip”.

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt: Together, Happy, Not Married.

Perhaps this is just a way for him to deflect questions regarding his longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt, whom he met in 1997.  It was easy for the couple before he got so famous, but now, in the age of endless engagement/marriage/divorce speculation that celebrities must endure, he has been asked often when he plans to put an oversized engagement ring on her finger.  This is because people assume that every woman desperately wants to be married and bear children.  Hamm cleared this up—for now—in the article, explaining that neither of he nor Westfeldt have good examples of marriages in their own families, so they are content to just be together.  “We’ve already been together four times longer than my parents were married,” he said.

Some of us wait a long, long time to find role models that don’t see marriage as a necessity.  Yes, most people get married, making a big deal out of planning a proposal, showing off the engagement ring, and throwing weddings that cost more than a house.  And that’s great for them.  But what of the others, the outliers, the folks that can be in love without turning it into a three-ring circus (pun intended)?  Where are they to look for validation?

First, those outliers don’t need validation.  If they did, they’d do what people are “supposed to do” and get married.  But it is heartwarming to see couples that are with each other because they like to be, with or without making the cover of People magazine.

But a man does make the cover of magazines when he says that he has no intention of getting married, or is, at least, not planning on it.  The irony is that the men who look at Jon Hamm and his revelation with awe are married, or going to get married, circus and all.  As for the ever-present question about having kids (Westfeldt is now 40 years old), he was equally candid, saying, “I like kids, but I also like the option to close the door”.  He understands that, once you have children, you have taken on a 24-hour a day job.

As for the “normal” people, the 80% of Americans who get married at least once by age 40, well, good for them.  If that’s what they want, then that’s what they should do.  Marriage is a beautiful commitment, and having children is, evidently, wonderful as well.  But outliers like Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt shouldn’t be criticized for following their own path.  Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for 25 years.

We don’t have to like Don Draper, but you’ve gotta respect Jon Hamm for his honesty.  It’s refreshing in Hollywood.

Really, what does Jay-Z have to complain about?  He is respected as a rapper and producer; he had his own clothing line which he sold for an ungodly sum; has endorsements out the wazoo; has ownership stakes in two sports teams, Def Jam Records, and the celebrity-packed 40/40 nightclubs; has never released an album that didn’t go platinum; and he took his longtime girlfriend Beyonce’s advice and put a $5 million engagement ring on it (the wedding ring cost a paltry $2.5 million).  His net worth is estimated at about $500 million.  But he loves a good fight.

Jay-Z: LeBron James is a Mean Man.

He has had well-publicized feuds with Nas, The Game, Damon Dash, Noel Gallagher, and even Red Sox slugger David Ortiz.  He is a master at taking everything very personally.  Now, basketball players Charles Barkley (himself not a stranger to controversy), Magic Johnson, and Michael Jordan have weighed in on LeBron James’ decision to sign with the Miami Heat, saying that they would have “acted differently”.  Well, LeBron doesn’t like to do what other people tell him to do.  It’s kinda his trademark.  Former NBA players—particularly those with the good reputations of Johnson and Jordan—have some insight and are specially qualified to comment.  But Jay-Z?  Where does he fit into this?

When you’ve got more than half a billion dollars, a chip on your shoulder the size of France, and a notoriously big mouth, you somehow manage to fit your way into whatever you want.  That’s just how you get to roll when you’re Jay-Z.  But an ego that size gets bruised when some guy who only rakes in a measly $18 million or so per year (not including endorsements) doesn’t answer its mighty calls.  Jay-Z apparently called LeBron several times during his free agency, to “consult” with him regarding which team he would play for.  But let us not forget that, as part owner of the New Jersey Nets, he was really looking out for the most important person in his life: himself.

So now the relationship between the rapper and the baller is “strained”.  Jay-Z is not a man who is accustomed to unreturned phone calls, and takes particular offense at not getting his way.  Having his calls ignored by some athlete can only lead to one thing, but at least it’s something that he’s good at.  Now he’s got someone else to be mad at.  Perhaps he’ll write a catchy hip-hop song disparaging the talent of LeBron James, undoubtedly taking verbal stabs at his parentage and sexual ability.  Somehow, it seems unlikely that he can say anything that LeBron hasn’t heard before.  And Beyonce can shake her generous booty in front of Jay-Z all day and it won’t ease the pain of not being considered the most important man in the world and an expert on all topics.

Poor Jay-Z.  It seems almost poetic that the man of many, many words has finally been confronted with silence, and he doesn’t like it at all.

Justin Bieber, who appears to have supplanted the Jonas Brothers as the puppy love poster boy, has decided to branch out a bit from his normal routine of singing to pre-teens and shaping his hair.  It appeared that he was joining the ranks of not-so-innocent celebrities Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Khloe Kardashian, tweeting out a picture of him wearing the prison-orange jumpsuit with the caption “I told you I was a BAD MAN”.  Two things wrong with that statement.  He is, at age 16, far from being a man; and he is not actually going to a real jail.  The only crime he has ever really committed is against the environment as he brazenly abuses hairspray.  The picture is from his role as a troubled teen on the season premiere of CSI September 28, as the long-running series hopes to draw in a new demographic.

Adult women, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

CSI has really been running on fumes for a while now, driving away William Petersen (although there are rumors of his return) and Gary Dourdan, who played the thinking person’s dream man Warrick Brown.  Evidently, it is no longer the thinking person who interests the creators of CSI.  It is the underoos-tossing, poster-smooching mob of teenage girls who follow The Biebs everywhere he goes.

This is a boy who has somehow drawn such a following that Kim Kardashian received death threats when she tweeted that she had developed a condition known as “Bieber Fever”.  The threats were not, however, taken seriously, as the people sending them are suburban girls with little access to firearms.  Plus, Kim is rarely seen without some kind of NFL player by her side.  The police were not called.  It seems, however, that adult women are also creepily drawn to the young Canadian.  His baby face and age-appropriate style of dress do not act as a deterrent, but actually seems to draw women to him.  The only way he upgraded his fashion was by replacing the dog tags on a regular chain with dog tags on a chain of diamonds.  He debuted that style at the 23^rd Annual Kids Choice Awards.

So the squeaky-clean young man has taken on an acting coach and accepted an edgy role on an adult-oriented TV series, although the episodes in which he costars will undoubtedly cause an epidemic of tween girls asking to stay up past their normal bedtimes to watch their little idol.  He has appeared Chelsea Lately, a show that absolutely never has content appropriate for the boy or his fan base, and he flirted with the 36 year-old host.  Singer Katy Perry, who is inexplicably attracted to and marrying the also-interesting tresses of British comedian Russell Brand, has professed her attraction to Bieber.  She posted a picture of herself with The Biebs, stating, “Told you I would tap that.  Yummy”.

Yuck.

For those of us who fail to see the charm of Justin Bieber and have not actually ever bothered to watch him sing, all of this is nothing short of mystifying.  His hair is strange, and he has a girly way of shaking his head to ensure that it is always properly arranged.  And he’s 16.  And he’s everywhere.  When the photo of him in his prison jumpsuit hit the internet, there was a glimmer of hope that maybe we wouldn’t be bombarded with his image for a few months—or at least until he reached puberty.

No such luck.  Look for him on primetime television.  Those of use without pedophilic tendencies will be rearranging our sock drawers or, perhaps, reading books.

Last September, Johnny Depp put fear into the hearts of fans when he hinted that he would not reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow for the already-written Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  This would have put an end to the multi-million dollar franchise.  It would have been a merciful way to end the series of films, which have grown progressively tedious.  The only really good reason to watch the sequels is Depp’s portrayal of the bawdy, drunken sailor.  He’s not a stupid man, that Johnny Depp, and he likes to have fun.  He doesn’t do these films because he needs the $35 million salary.  He can already buy and sell the fountain of youth fifty times over, if he happens upon it in the 2011 film.  One has to think that he does this because he likes to turn into Captain Jack, and his kids think it’s funny.

Blake Lively Offers Two More Reasons to See the Green Lantern.

At this year’s Comic-Con, an annual collection of uber-nerds seeking autographs from their favorite fictional characters, Captain Jack made a video appearance to confirm three things: Pirates 4 is a go, Penelope Cruz will still be in it, and he would very much like a bloody mary.  Cruz, recently in the news for privately exchanging wedding rings with Javier Bardem in the Bahamas, will be playing the role of Blackbeard’s daughter Angelica.  She seeks out the help of Jack Sparrow to find the Fountain of Youth, and uses her feminine wiles to convince him to help her find the magical elixir that can keep her father alive.  Cruz was a no-show at Comic-Con, but the teaser sent by Depp guarantees that the boys will come a-runnin’ to next year’s event with the high hope of seeing her in some kind of tight corset as dictated by her role.

Drooling goobers were not to be disappointed, however, at Cruz’s absence, since Angelina Jolie inexplicably showed up to promote her non-comic book movie Salt.  Jolie is always welcome at Comic-Con for two reasons: she played the character of Lara Croft from Tomb Raider several years ago, and drooling goobers always welcome an opportunity to look at her and possibly get her to sign their fluid-stained movie posters.

Actress Blake Lively, who co-stars in The Green Lantern as Ryan Reynolds’ love interest, also gave geeks a show, guaranteeing that more than just fans of the comic book hero will see the film.  She came to the panel wearing a very low-cut dress.  Suddenly, meeting the Green Lantern seemed a lot less exciting to fans as Lively put on a light show of her own.

For those who attended the party for Tron: Legacy, they were not only treated an amazing, futuristic event featuring the blasting music of Daft Punk and an overt display of product placement by Coke Zero.  They also got to see an enticing array of waitresses in skimpy dresses and a glowing woman in a skin-tight bodysuit.

If there’s anything we can learn from this year’s Comic-Con, it is this: virgin boys from around the globe will always show up if you guarantee them an opportunity to see scantily-clad, unattainable women.  It’s what the comic industry is built on.

Susan Boyle is still famous.  She still brings tears to people’s eyes when she sings “I Dreamed a Dream”.  She has released an album and used the proceeds to buy a home in her quaint little Scottish village.  She is charming and popular because she people want to see her perform even though she doesn’t look the way most famous singers do, and her figure is more Pavarotti than Madonna.  Bless her heart for not going on the magic lemonade diet to fit into Hollywood beauty standards.  But Susan is now looking beyond show tunes and love songs, and her new dream that she’s dreaming involves a collaboration with Lady Gaga.  More frightening than that is Lady Gaga’s mutual interest in recording with the former Britain’s Got Talent runner-up.

Do they make this costume in Susan Boyle's size? Gaga ooh-la-la.

Boyle has said that she even wants to wear the famous “Telephone” hat.  It’s somehow difficult to imagine our Scottish dame watching the full, ultra-controversial video of Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”, with its prison scenes and serial killing, and thinking: “That’s someone I’d really like to get to know”.  This is not the same shy, unassuming Susan Boyle who nervously performed on British television.  This is Boyle 2010, a woman who likes the funky costumes that Lady Gaga wears and gets white gold jewelry encrusted with diamonds from Simon Cowell for her birthday.  So far, the closest the two have come to performing together was in last year’s Halloween episode of Regis and Kelly Live, when Kelly dressed up as Gaga and Regis, predictably, as Susan.

But the two would like to work together, and that’s something.  Since she became famous, Boyle has been fielding offers from some really interesting sources.  50 Cent has said he’d love to do a track and even perform live with her.  Snoop Dogg has also said that he wants to work with her.  On an episode of Jimmy Kimmel, Kimmel asked Snoop how he can achieve the same laid-back ultra-cool vibe that the rapper exudes.  Snoop’s response was to join him in the aptly-named Green Room before the show.  It would be worth whatever came out of the recording studio to see Susan Boyle and Snoop getting lit together and then struggling to understand each other’s location-specific accents.  Boyle is not, one imagines, well versed in the language of the LBC.  She has admitted to not experiencing the “Sexual Eruption” that became one of Snoop’s most popular recent tracks.  Snoop has filmed his own porn films in the Girls Gone Wild style, although he was not an active participant.  Although she has started wearing makeup, added a little fashion to her wardrobe, and colored her hair, Boyle still looks like a 4^th-grade teacher.  Snoop barely attended school.

But still, the most unlikely and interesting duo is easily Boyle and Gaga.  Would they cover a song together?  Would we hear Susan’s voice belting out the “Rah rah ah ah ah/ Roma roma ma/ Gaga ooh la la” that has become the Lady’s signature?  Or would Gaga work her own rendition of “How Great Thou Art”?  Or, dare we dream a dream that they would write a song together?  And can we get video of their lyric-writing sessions?

As long as they don’t trade costumes, I’m all for it.

The rumors are true.  Kate Gosselin will be bringing her kids to Alaska for part of her new show Kate Plus 8.  It will be part of Kate’s drive to teach her kids about all of the different states.  And what better authority to teach them than former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin?  After all, she’s known far and wide for being an expert on so many things, from parenting to her command of the English language.  She is signed on for her own show on The Learning Channel for a series called Sarah Palin’s Alaska, in which she will somehow have to spin her notorious anti-environmental moves as Governor.  Whatever.  People will watch.

I hope Palin reminds Kate to pack a parka.

Both women jumped at the opportunity to go camping together for Kate’s show.  Hopefully, they will bring an encyclopedia with them if they want it to be a learning experience.  After last week’s “Refudiate-gate”, Palin lost further credibility as an expert on, well, anything.  And she certainly isn’t known for being into the outdoors unless it’s to hunt things, or to say things like “Drill baby, drill”.  But since exploiting the environment is nothing new, exploiting the fame of Kate Gosselin for camera time is certainly well within her moral standards.

Sarah Palin has, after all, been hit hard on the whole “family values” thing, something that might have been pushed aside had her unwed teenaged daughter not recently decided to marry her babydaddy, proudly donning an engagement ring once again.  It has been noted in the press that she not only disapproves of the couple reuniting, but has publicly stated that she doesn’t think the wedding will take place.  Seeing young Bristol and Levi in Vegas with young Tripp as ring-bearer will make for a great US Weekly cover, so Palin better get on board with the whole thing pretty soon.

As for Gosselin, she seemed to fare much better in the media than her ex, but is still hardly viewed as a role model for young women.  Her turn on Dancing with the Stars was, she claimed, a way for her to make money to support her family.  But with the photos of her in a bikini surfacing all over the place, it seems that her visible tummy-tuck scars and new, higher breasts are telling a slightly different story.  It also appears that she has had multiple visits from the Botox fairy.

All of the controversy does, however, make for great television, and the pairing of these two parenting giants guarantees huge viewing numbers.  No one will be tuning in to Palin’s show to really learn anything about Alaska (unless redneck behavior counts), and no one will be watching Kate Gosselin to pick up parenting tips.  But tune in, they will.  These shows are not the brainchildren of TV execs looking to educate the masses.  Rather, they are easy use of media-hungry women hoping to somehow redeem themselves to the public.

As for whether or not either will succeed, well, that, fortunately for both, is a no-brainer.

Not a surprise that OG Ice-T had some negative things to say about a police officer.  Although he has been in the rap game since 1987, he is most notorious for a song released when he fronted the first rap-metal band Body Count.  That song, called “Cop Killer”, caused such an uproar that the album had to be re-released with that track left off of it.  Every uptight police force in the country took it personally, although Ice-T continually asserted that it was art imitating life and was a response to specific acts of police brutality.  The LAPD in particular countered that it would cause a wave of attacks on officers of the law.  Somehow, they—along with the help of the NRA—won that argument, despite the First Amendment.

Ice-T and NYPD: Way to go, Officer Fisher.

When Ice-T was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt and having an expired New York Driver’s License (but a valid New Jersey license), he and his most interesting wife Coco were bringing their puppy to the vet.  Of course, he could have made things a little easier by not immediately calling the arresting officer a “punk b****”, but the cop didn’t have to counter with his own string of obscenities.  As soon as it happened, the 53 year-old rapper/actor/producer took to Twitter to express his rage to a wider audience.  The thing is, Ice-T really only has two speeds: sarcastic and really, really enraged.  Pulling him over on one bogus charge and another ridiculous one could have only one possible outcome, and that would be one very ticked off rap legend, who gave the officer’s name and badge number in one of his tweets.  Someone will probably be sitting at a desk for a while until the smoke clears and every gangsta fan of Ice-T (and there are many) forgets about it.

Ice-T, in case you don’t know, is considered to be the first to define “gangsta rap”.  He spent most of junior high and high school living in Crenshaw, an area of Los Angeles known for gang violence and drug trafficking.  It was there that he saw only the drug dealers and pimps making real money, and was witness to police behavior that can be gently described as “unethical”.  He was able to turn his experiences around and got into the rap game, essentially creating his own genre by bringing to light the things that were really going on in the inner cities.  The police didn’t like this.

Having now released eight solo albums and collaborated on many others—including the Body Count project—he is considered an OG, a term he created for the name of his 1991 release OG: Original Gangster.  He flaunts his wealth as he saw the pimps and drug dealers did, although his money is earned legally.  He became so famous for his love of diamonds that custom jeweler TraxNYC named a $17,000 diamond-encrusted bracelet after him.

The irony of the ongoing animosity between Ice-T and the police is that the rapper, after honing his acting skills in well-known movies like New Jack City, Ricochet, and Surviving the Game, now plays a cop on the long-running series Law & Order: SVU.  The major problem that most government organizations have with Ice-T is that he is extremely intelligent and has ‘street cred’.  He is not someone that they want to have speaking out against them.

This gives one Officer Fisher a reason to lay low for a while.  That is, if the Chief of the NYPD doesn’t bench him for good for being an idiot.

Meghan McCain, daughter of former Presidential hopeful John McCain, has penned another book.  While the content of the book, called “Dirty, Sexy Politics”, promises to bring us all of the insight and intelligence for which her family is known.  The reason it will sell, however, is because it features the blonde posed on an elephant’s head, provocatively holding its trunk in front of her.  If she had released it before the election, perhaps the Republicans could have won over the significant “horny male” demographic that was not enticed by the sex appeal of her Dad’s running mate, Sarah Palin, who has never posed provocatively with anything.

"After I do this shot, I'll tell you how I feel about Universal Health Care"

Weighing in on this latest political offering is our favorite conservative commentator, Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore, whom Meghan McCain sought out for an interview.  After confessing to a crush on the seductive Senator, Snooki revealed that “the only reason [she] voted for your father was because he was really cute and [she] liked when he did his speeches.”  It is just that sort of acumen that made Snooki a worthwhile pundit for the fledgling author’s book.  That, and her ability to wear obscenely short skirts and kiss random boys for the viewing pleasure of the many influential interest groups that tune into Jersey Shore each week.

As for the fate of Snooki’s show, it seems that almost the entire cast will be returning for a third season, still called Jersey Shore, although season two was shot in Miami.  The only person not returning will be Angelina, the girl that no one really liked anyway.  She didn’t do anything controversial or fun, and doesn’t enjoy eating pickles each morning like Snooki does.  The rest of the group held out for a while, hoping to get another raise, but now they have all signed on again and we can look forward to another drunken, fight-filled series.

In the meantime, the odd-looking Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, our favorite shirt-shy, diamond studs-wearing self-proclaimed “guido” has made the absolute most of his sudden fame.  In addition the predictably releasing an abs-centric workout video featuring him and attractive women who were clearly paid to be there, he “created” his own clothing line and (wish I was kidding) recorded a rap song called “The Situation”.  It has a sound quality that makes one think that it was the show’s own Pauly D who mixed the track in his basement while coming down from a vicious hangover.

Although all of the cast members have become recognizable figures, Snooki almost caused a breakdown in contract negotiations when she told the press that several of them were “jealous” of her because she gets more attention than most of them.  However, without a wealth of job opportunities for young people who consider getting drunk, hooking up with strangers, and going to the gym to be “work”, they all signed on for yet another season of the same.

One can only hope that Meghan McCain takes time out of her book tour to drop in on the cast during filming.  It’s not like she can do any more damage than her father already has.

It’s kinda hard to feel sorry for Tiger Woods, but most celebrity sex scandals pass very quickly.  Of course, this one reached somewhat legendary proportions, with 14+ extramarital playmates coming forward and releasing all kinds of evidence to the media for their own financial gain.  Soon-to-be ex-wife Elin Nordegren went back and forth on the divorce issue after the story first broke, and sightings of her with or without her wedding ring on were immediately photographed and published.  Now the divorce is a definite, and it looks like $100 million and the ability to move the kids to Sweden are in the settlement.  It’s not like a reconciliation was ever a real possibility, not with mistresses coming out of the woodwork like cockroaches when the lights go down in Chinatown.

Tiger Woods Isn't Cashing In, but Rachel Uchitel Is.

Tiger clearly let the whole thing affect his game, which took him from phenom to human in just a few tournaments.  His recent tirade of f-bombs at the British Open was caught by cameras and let out for the whole world to see.  He has a lot to be swearing about, but doing so in front of the media doesn’t make him any more lovable to his fans and, in particular, any company that might consider him for endorsements.  Curses on those “morals clauses”.

The first mistress to gain notoriety for her affair with the golfer, Rachel Uchitel, is still cashing in, and with the approval of a most unexpected benefactor: Donald Trump.  The real estate mogul evidently personally called Uchitel to offer her an, ahem, position on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice.   According to TMZ, a spokesperson for The Donald said, “We called Uchitel and asked if she was going to take the offer — and she said, ‘Absolutely.’ We’re pretty confident she’ll excel in business — since she’s already proved she can handle the load.” Poor choice of words, yes, but nonetheless true.  That was three weeks ago, and, according to reports, still plans to join the cast.  One can only imagine what her charity of choice will be.  There must be some 501(c)3 that donates money to disgraced mistresses of famous people.

Now, we have learned that she is also joining the cast of yet another reality TV show.  As we know, reality television is the logical next step for a person of no discernible skills who has been thrust into the public eye for one salacious reason or another.  So off to Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew she goes.  For what addiction, we don’t know, but that doesn’t really matter.  What would truly drive her into massive withdrawal symptoms would be lack of media attention.  She will join a cast of other addicts that includes alleged-abductee Jeremy London, former supermodel Janice Dickinson, former child star Leif Garrett, former reality TV star Jason Wahler, and some people no one has heard of.

So far, Trump has not commented on this latest development, although he did chastise Khloe Kardashian in another season of his show for once getting a DUI, firing her for it.  Since job opportunities for Uchitel beyond reality TV are somewhat limited, she really needs both of the shows to keep her in expensive shoes and custom-made trashy lingerie.  Although she escaped the affair with then-married David Boreanaz relatively unscathed, the Tiger Woods scandal has her marked for life, and she needs to make bank on it while she can.

The outlook for Tiger Woods is not good, but, again, it is still virtually impossible to see his name without first thinking of the scandal.  His stock has plummeted, but he can continue to play golf professionally, and he has another $500 million or so—even after the divorce—to keep him warm at night.  That, and the freedom to have as many women as he wants.

Two things are generally accepted truths about Megan Fox: she is exceedingly beautiful and she can’t act to save her life.  But she’s great at getting press.  Rumors of her possibly getting another acting role cause tsunamis of media attention.  The most recent is of the actress (and I use the term loosely) possibly starring in a movie about Hall of Fame pitcher Old Hoss Radbourn called “Fifty-Nine in ‘84”.  She might be playing his seductress.  It’s a role that suits her.  She has become famous not for her skills, but because men enjoy picturing her naked, and they are willing to pay to see a film in which she might flash some skin.

Megan Fox: Making sure the media is still following.

She is also famous for her ability to steal the spotlight.  Everyone loves a Hollywood wedding, and wearing her engagement ring from former 90210 star Brian Austin Green in June kept the cameras on her.  They had broken up, but reunited and then got married a month later in a private ceremony.  Was it just a wave of love that swept the couple into a quickie wedding?

Probably not.  Brian Austin Green, prior to meeting young Megan, had been engaged to and had a child with actress Vanessa Marcil.  Their breakup was about as ugly as a breakup can be.  But they share a child, and they clearly don’t have issues using him against each other.  Marcil was engaged to CSI:NY star Carmine Giovinazzo, and had undoubtedly told her ex about their upcoming, very private wedding—to ensure that her son would be in attendance.  When Megan found out, she must have pitched a hissy fit suitable of a spoiled 24 year-old.  Clearly, she wanted to eclipse Green’s 41 year-old ex-fiancee’s wedding and have one of her own.  So she worked her sex-kitten magic on Green and decided to beat Marcil to the punch.

So they had their romantic ceremony on the beach in Hawaii, with only Green and Marcil’s son in attendance.  Then they released the photos and video to every press outlet on earth.

When Marcil and Giovinazzo got married in their own small ceremony a few weeks later, it became barely a footnote to the media, since they decided not to make a big deal out of it.  So far, not one photo of the wedding has been seen in magazines or online.  But was taking the high road just the way the couple rolls?

Probably not.  It had the lovely effect of making their love seem so pure and intimate (which it might very well be), but also made Fox and Green look like attention-seeking media whores.

That the weddings happened so close together is suspect at the least.  It won’t take long to see whether the attention-seeking Fox plans to stay in a peaceful, press-less marriage, or whether she’ll need some more controversy to keep herself going.  It’s not like directors and producers are lining up to give her juicy acting roles.

Does anyone have a stopwatch?