Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Soon enough, you can cyber-kiss any of the Papal rings, from the early renaissance ruby and diamond rings to the current solid gold ring worn by Pope Benedict XVI.  No longer do you have to wait in huge crowds to merely see His Holiness go by in his pimped-out Mercedes-Benz SUV Popemobile; or travel all the way to Vatican City to be a speck in a crowd in St. Peter’s square; or try to score tickets to any of the masses over which he presides and grants “audiences”.  Expecting to be given a direct blessing by the Pope is like expecting that Ed McMahon was going to show up at your door with a check for millions of dollars (y,know, before he died).  It could happen, but it wasn’t likely.  But now, all of that isn’t necessary.  All of the legwork is being taken out of chasing the Holy Father around the globe.  All you need now is an internet connection and a working knowledge of social media.

Who wouldn't want this guy as a Facebook friend?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Papacy is getting its own Facebook page.  It already has an event page that was designed to promote Benedict XVI’s September trip to the UK.  Apparently, despite the six-month expiration of the event for which it was designed, more than 10,000 people regularly check in.  Those devout Catholics evidently need to get their mass on.  Seeing this, the Vatican’s social communications office found an untapped market: Facebook freaks.  The millions and millions of people across the globe who spend hours every day—hours when they should be focusing on spreadsheets for work or maintaining relationships with family—screwing around on Facebook.  And out of those millions and millions, there are scads of Catholics.  That’s just math.  The launch of the new Vatican website will, initially, be dedicated to upcoming beatification of Pope John Paul II on May 1.  It will link to video highlights of His (late) Holiness’s 27-year papacy.  The designers of the page are focusing entirely on the beatification for now.

But the Holy See is hoping for much more from this re-entry into social media.  The six-month old, never-updated page has become an online community in which Catholics, or any interested person, can interact.  At Easter, the Vatican is launching an information web portal, the contents of which are meant to be posted, tweeted, and even blogged.  It will contain information about the Vatican’s views on, for example, the Tsunami in Japan or the various uprisings in the Middle East.  With a multi-media format, “friends” of the Popedom can send out the Vatican’s innermost feelings about issues with the click of a mouse.  Pope Benedict XVI did the unthinkable when he allowed “the faithful” to ask questions online.  While an exhaustive search of the Vatican website, various websites for “the faithful”, and a Google search provided no “Contact the Pontiff” links, it is possible that they were already taken down.  When His Holiness responds to some of these questions on Good Friday, he will be the first Pope ever to answer to online posts.  His pre-recorded responses will be available on Italian state television, and, 10 seconds later, on YouTube.  No word yet on whether there are plans for a Pontifex Maximus YouTube channel.

The original Vatican website will remain as it is, posting the Pope’s schedule, Papal events, celebrations, and links to get tickets.  That will stay as it has always been.  But now you can “like” and “friend” the Vatican and Pope Benedict XVI, all without getting out of your PJs and slippers.  With friends like that…

All of those medical marijuana licenses must have been approved, because federal prosecutors in Northern California have nothing better to do than pick on Barry Bonds again.  This will be the third time they file charges against the former San Francisco Giants slugger: once for allegedly using illegal performance-enhancing drugs, once for allegedly lying to a grand jury about using performance-enhancing drugs, and once for—oops, that’s twice for allegedly lying about the drugs.  Seriously, aren’t there criminals to chase?  Walk through Golden Gate Park at night and you’ll see that there are bigger fish to fry than a guy who hit baseballs for a living.  But here are a bunch of folks who worked their tails off, spending several years going into debt in school and many more earning meager wages as they clawed their paths up the legal ladder, and then there is a guy who spent one short year in the minors before bursting onto the Major League scene and its matching salary.  Prosecutors can’t possibly be mad at someone who may have possibly lied 7 years ago.  They’re mad at someone who may have possibly lied 7 years ago while showing up in court with more money in diamonds hanging from his earlobes than each earns in a year.

"Maybe I used steroids, maybe not. Don't you have anything better to do?"

The law goes only so far, but bitterness is forever.

And so Barry Bonds is being indicted.  Again.  Really.  After we had forgotten, for the most part, about the whole BALCO scandal, about the whole steroid issue, about who was juicing whom.  We had gotten out of heads the horrifying images of Jose Canseco sticking a needle into Mark McGwire’s butt.  But when we think back, we scratch our heads as we try to remember how and why Barry Bonds somehow became the Big Fat Liar who needs to be hunted like a dog.  Out of all of the Major League players who went from reed-thin to freakishly muscular in less than an off-season, it is Bonds whom prosecutors wanted to take down, and, like rabid bulldogs, they continue to hold on.  And whither Mark McGwire, Mike Piazza, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, and Pudge Rodriguez?  Did showing up in court wearing bifocals make some of them appear frail enough to cause the grand jury to dismiss the idea that they had been using steroids?  Was there a personality portion of the trial?  Bonds made no attempts to charm the media or anyone, ever.  Perhaps being an egomaniacal jerk worked against him.

Correction:  being an openly egomaniacal jerk worked against him (I’m looking at YOU, Rocket Roger).

The charges have been reduced from 11 to 5. There are 4 counts of perjury because of the way he answered the question as to whether he ever took steroids from trainer Greg Anderson.  He responded, “Not that I know of.”  Oh, sure.  Presidents have been getting away with murder—literal murder in the form of pointless military action—by saying, “I don’t remember” or “Not that I recall.”  Ronald Reagan made a career of forgetting things long before he was symptomatic of Alzheimer’s.  But let someone who entertained millions (and put countless rear ends into Major League seats that would have otherwise sat empty) answer with tactical ambiguity and suddenly the wrath of the Northern Cali Feds rains down upon him.  There is also a lingering count of Obstruction of Justice for answering questions in ways that were vague and/or misleading.  Speaking of forgetfulness, that sounds like a repeat of the first charge, but with a different name.

And so the federal prosecutors in Northern California prepare for Barry Bonds’ March trial.  All of this in an era when Congressmen—currently holding office, decision-making married Congressmen—are placing shirtless ads on Craiglist trolling for chicks.

Focus, people.  Let the past be the past and put your efforts into trying to make the present a little less embarrassing for all Americans.  Barry Bonds can quietly retreat into a private life, applying ProActiv to his back in peace, and the Northern California Federal Prosecutors can, oh, I don’t know, fight crime.

If you were thinking about opening the Sarah Palin Bathhouse and Food Co-op, you might be out of luck.  And if you wanted to open the first Bristol Palin Academy of Dance, you could have to find a new dream to dream.  The Palins have decided to trademark their most respected of names.  The initial applications, submitted by the Palin family lawyer, were rejected on the grounds that they were not personally signed by either Sarah or Bristol.  Perhaps Mrs. Palin was too busy shooting wildlife and slamming healthcare reform.  And in Bristol’s defense, it is possible that the ABCs were taught while—go-getter that she is—was becoming a self-taught Birds-and-Bees expert.  And it is just this kind of Palin aptitude that has caused the mother and daughter to seek ownership of their names.  They want to be the only Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin on the motivational speaking circuit.

If they want to own their names, they can have 'em.

What they plan to motivate people to do, well, we can pretty much guess.

Another problem with both applications is that they need to show actual visual proof of how their names are being used for the purposes they describe.  According to the US Patent and Trademark Office, examples include “signs, photographs, brochures, website printouts or advertisements” that show the names in question being used in advertising for the sale of their services.   While Bristol offered no visual proof of this particular use of her moniker (there isn’t any such thing), Sarah Palin sent in perplexing examples that had nothing to do with anything.  While she has been paid to speak and evidence of this exists, she instead offered a screenshot of a headline from Fox News, a copy of her biography, and another screenshot of her Facebook page.

The Palins should probably shop for lawyers outside of Wasilla’s famous “Attorneys and Live Bait” franchises.

Todd Palin, who made an honest woman of Sarah 22 years ago by giving her a wedding ring seven months prior to the birth of their first child, has made no such moves to trademark his own appellation, although he displayed motivational skills while his wife showcased her rock climbing skills in her reality TV show.  Perhaps the family feels that yelling, “Let’s go, Juicy!” to the former VP candidate isn’t as important as Bristol’s future as a pro-abstinence lecturer (provided she can find a babysitter).

No word yet as to whether or not the expected 2012 Presidential contender intends to trademark “Juicy Palin” as well.

Todd had a shot at owning his own nickname.  While his wife was Governor, he refused to be referred to as “first gentleman” as is customary.  His I’m-a-regular-guyness made him come up with the handle “first dude”.  Really.  Shouldn’t Jeff Bridges have something to say about that?  He is—and always will be—the First Dude to the masses.

Regardless of their mistakes thus far in the trademarking process, Sarah and Bristol Palin intend to go ahead with the branding of themselves.  They have been given 6 months to re-file their applications in an intelligent way.

I’m not holding my breath.

Sunny Oglesby has figured something you don’t learn in school: dating someone who is famous for being engaged to someone who is related to someone famous makes you famous.  Since she is now in a relationship with the ex-boyfriend of the daughter of Sarah Palin, she is among the most searched topics on the internet.  The news broke the way all young couples release such information now: they each changed their Facebook status to “in a relationship with” and linked to each other.  And now everyone wants to know everything there is to know about this elusive creature with the whimsical name.

Sunny Oglesby knows a relationship isn't real until you post it on Facebook.

What we do know is that Oglesby works in day-care and teaches pre-school in Wasilla, but hails from Oregon.  She lists her interests as hunting, fishing, and camping.  With her choice of career working with children, she should have a particular affinity communicating with Levi, who probably knows almost all the same words as Sunny’s students, and maybe half of the math and history.  She will, no doubt, be instrumental should he continue in his bid to become mayor of Wasilla.  She can have her class make his posters and write his speeches!

Bristol Palin told E! News that she is happy about Levi’s new relationship because Sunny is encouraging him to spend more time with his son.  Evidently, Sunny is very excited to meet little Tripp.  With Levi’s history, it’s only a matter of time before Sunny is in Bristol’s mukluks, carrying around another little Johnston.  And if he’s running for mayor, he’s gonna have to make an honest woman of that little girl and give her an engagement ring.  And it’s clear from the “About Me” section of her Facebook page that she is the mature, stable kind of woman that Levi needs.  “I’v (sic) made a lot of mistakes and learned from them..” She writes. “Had a lot of loser ex boyfriends and friends that just made me stronger and better..Stay out of drama as much as I possibly can but it finds me haha.”

Both Levi and Sunny have posted pictures of themselves doing things that couples do: snuggling, holding hands, kissing in front of a disembodied moose head mounted on the wall.  Their Facebook pages impart the story of their growing love.  With the holidays coming, they can look forward to watching Buddy the Elf (one of her favorite movies) as they cuddle together and plan on stretching out their 15 minutes of fame.  Sunny is new to the game, but there are already rumors that they are shopping around a reality show called Loving Levi.  Johnston already has a tentative deal for a reality show following his campaign for mayor, so Oglesby may get her shot at being his co-star.

So far, dating Levi Johnston has led to great success on the reality TV circuit.  Good luck, kiddo.

Unless you’ve had your head in the sand, the word “WikiLeaks” and the oddly melodic name Julian Assange have been assaulting your brain from every possible source.  Until April, WikiLeaks managed to fly mostly under the radar of our collective consciousness.  And then something happened that affected Americans, and claws came out.  On April 5, the site released classified US military footage from a 2007 attack on Baghdad by a US helicopter that killed 12, including two Reuters news reporters.  The footage, known as “Collateral Murder”, caused “WikiLeaks” to be the most searched term on the internet worldwide.  The US went after a young man named Bradley Manning who was accused of leaking the video.  WikiLeaks has maintained that they do not collect personal information about their sources, but aha!  A new name came into the picture.  Spokesperson Julian Assange told The Guardian that, although he had no specific knowledge of Manning’s involvement in leaking any video, he hired three criminal attorneys to represent the 22 year-old.

Proof positive that pasty-faced nerds have the means and opportunity to take over the world.

But now, we’ve all but forgotten about that kid because now there’s a sex scandal.  Sort of.  Evidently, Julian Assange was in Sweden and met two women, known initially as Woman A and Woman B, both of whom were taken in—on different days—by his flaxen hair and cadaverous complexion (we blame you, O makers of the Twilight Saga).  After spending romantic, rolling-in-the-hay kind of evenings with him, they each went to the Swedish authorities and reported a crime that exists only in Sweden.  It’s something that happens to regular people all the time, and all they generally get out of it is a great deal of anxiety and possibly an unplanned child.  Conspiracy theorists are running amok with ideas that the women were sent by governments that had been exposed by WikiLeaks for various bad things.  Julian Assange has made a lot of enemies along the way.  As of December 9, one of the women chose to leave the horror of the situation she was in for a relaxing trip as part of Christian Outreach program to the West Bank in the Palestinian Territories.  It is not out of the question that someone in a position of power might take steps to discredit Assange, since WikiLeaks has exposed classified documents ranging from Scientology to a nuclear spill in Iran.

Under pressure from the government and unnamed sources, PayPay, Visa, and Mastercard all suspended their services for cardholders to make donations to WikiLeaks.  As a response, angry cardholders and people who know stuff about computer hacking caused the sites to crash.  Not good news when all of those companies rely 100% on businesses being able to slide cards through a machine that dials up through the—can you guess it?—internet to get transactions approved.  Basically, while Interpol was ready to go looking for the WikiLeaks spokesperson, fans of his site made commerce extraordinarily difficult on an international level.  The lesson is that you cannot mess with The People.  WikiLeaks supporters are the high-tech version of the Colombian coke dealers in Scarface.  They used a cyber-chainsaw and the shower was the credit card business, which previously felt itself invulnerable.  Oops.  After proving that hackers can, indeed, achieve more-or-less what Tyler Durden was going for in Fight Club—and on some of the busiest shopping days of the year—they backed off, having proven their point.

Assange now sits in a London jail and has only one request: a computer.  While the charges against him in Sweden seem to be fading away, the US is mulling over espionage charges, which would be unwise.  Why?  Again, we turn to the wisdom of Tyler Durden: “…the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep.”

Julian Assange is not a violent man, and the people who support WikiLeaks are not violent.  They are dedicated to the exposure of the truth at all costs.  Is that always right?  Maybe, maybe not.

But I don’t want to be the one on a bathroom floor with a rubber band determining my fate.

To paraphrase a great vice-presidential debate from the not-so-distant past, “Mr. O’Reilly, you are no Homer Simpson.” When a Fox News political commentator takes time out of his busy health care-bashing schedule to take a jab at a cartoon, there’s something not quite right. Maybe if you go on The Daily Show and have Jon Stewart throwing political barbs at you, you might need to defend yourself—or at least smirk and say nothing.  Oh, wait, you did that.  But when you get hostile towards a show made famous by an underachieving kid and a donut-eating father who sings to his pet pig, maybe it’s time to re-prioritize.

Bill, it's a cartoon.

Yes, The Simpsons took an animated swing at Fox News last Sunday, but let’s review the show.  In the opening sequence, the family was living in their own Pandora, their skin blue and glowing like diamonds while they tried to wrangle a flying couch out of the sky.  So far, James Cameron and his colossal ego have not bothered to comment about the Avatar ripoff.  Neither has former NBC chief Jeff Zucker, who was used as a guinea pig to test a deadly virus in the episode—and he was still the president of NBC when the storyline was written.  But when the Fox News helicopter approached the secret meeting of the heads of all the major networks, it had the words, “Not Racist, but #1 with Racists” written on the side.  When the network head jumped out, the pilot yelled, “We’re unbalanced!  It’s not fair!” before the helicopter crashed.  To these things, Bill O’Reilly took exception.  His comment, “Pinheads, I believe so,” may have been directed at the Fox network for allowing its cartoon characters to make fun of “the hand that feeds part of it”, but why comment at all.  It’s a cartoon.

This is not the first time that Bill O’Reilly has suffered from foot-in-mouth disease.  In January of 2009, he took on another political giant: Jessica Alba.  She had made a remark to a reporter “to be Sweden about it.”  O’Reilly called her a “pinhead” because she clearly must have been referring to Switzerland’s neutrality in World War II.  What the all-knowing political commentator with all the resources in the world didn’t seem to realize is that Sweden, too, chose to remain neutral through WWII.  That’s gotta sting, Bill.

What really needs to be addressed here is whether Bill O’Reilly is starting a battle with Fox, the network that allows him to do those things he does, or if he is trying to fight with fictional characters.  His criticism of The Simpsons comes right back at him.  Pinhead?  I believe so.

I look forward to watching The Homer Simpson Factor.

After seeing the photo that launched a thousand blog postings—the one of a man getting searched to the point of knowing his religion—the TSA went from a minor security inconvenience to one worthy of starring in its own de-motivational poster.  The TSA is supposed to be here to protect us, and instead it causes us to become angry and restless from waiting in lines and making sure we have only the appropriate amount of fluids in out carry-on luggage.  Now they’ve upped the ante from the full-body screenings that would have made Superman blush (he, after all, could only see to Lois Lane’s modest underthings) and can see whether or not you’ve shaved your legs recently.  No word on whether or not hairy legs are a sign of a threat or not.  Because of the backlash of the scans that were designed to “keep us safe”, which we later found out were, in some cases, printed and brought home by security staff for their, ahem, personal use, TSA decided to rock it old school.  They’ve gone back to the LAPD pat-down.

Currently, this is a joke. Emphasis on "currently".

In general, pat-downs are used on the street because street cops don’t have a lot of handy-dandy technology (unless you’re watching CSI for your information, in which case, you have other issues to discuss with your therapist).  But the TSA, in their efforts to thwart terrorism and avoid another attack like the one in 2001, have had a lot of government money and research at their disposal to make flying safer for all of us.  And I, for one, don’t mind getting my bags searched and taking off my shoes.  The waiting makes me cranky, but that also gives me ample people-watching time.  However, I must add that I have never been put through the indignity of a full-body scan, and I can say unequivocally that I would lose it if some woman wanted to touch me all over because my toothpaste exceeded the 3.4-ounce limit.  While TSA Chief John Pistole waffles over policy changes, Hillary Clinton has already stated that, although she is exempt from such searches, would not submit to such an invasion of privacy.

San Diego traveler John Tyner became a national hero when he told a TSA screener bearing gloves and a giant sense of entitlement, “If you touch my junk, I’m gonna have you arrested.”  And why the search?  Dude is so All-American that apple pie and baseball are shamed in his presence.  Hours later, he was released.  And so, as the Thanksgiving and the busiest traveling time of the year approaches, all of our collective junk still hangs in the balance (so to speak) while the TSA and Congress try to come up with something better.  President Barack Obama has stated that he wants to ensure our security, but to review methods to find ways that are “less intrusive.”  Left to their own devices, the TSA would have colonoscopy and “turn your head and cough” rooms for “suspicious types” like John Tyner.  Of course we need airport security, but there are airports that are doing it right, and those are the places that we need to be looking at modeling ourselves after.  Instead, we have meetings.

I wonder how long it takes to walk 300 miles to see my parents.

Ever since Prince William finally, after what feels like decades of headlines, slipped that pretty engagement ring on Kate Middleton’s finger, the tabloids spent about ten minutes talking about the dress she wore for the announcement and the dress she might wear for the wedding.  Then they started talking about Harry because, heir to the throne or not, he’s the one we’d all rather be looking at.  He’s the one who creates controversy and he’s the one who goes off to Africa to start a charity and continues to see it through.  And somehow, he does it all while looking just as cute as a roomful of fluffy kittens cuddling flopsy-eared bunnies.  Now he’s trying to master to bob-and-weave regarding questions about when he might someday get married.  We can only talk about Wills for so long.

"You want to do WHAT?"

While the Queen busies herself with formal parties and fireworks and all those things befitting someone of Prince William’s political stature, Prince Harry is doing things in his own gingey way.  The Queen, for example, is planning a staid engagement party that will involve heads of state, formal gowns, bowing, and kissing of rings and behinds.  Meanwhile, Harry is working on a bash that will involve performances by Snoop Dogg and British rapper Tinie Tempah.  The boys already met Tinie at the Wireless Festival and asked him to perform for them, and Harry plans to approach Snoop when the rapper and his entourage arrive in London next week.  Oh, to be in on that little get-together.  We can only hope that Harry remembers to ask in between “pass me those Cheetos, willya?” and “puff, puff, give!”  If we can rely on any of the royals to throw a good party, it will be the ginger-haired man-boy with the devilish grin.

As news of the engagement broke, Prince Harry got some good news of his own: he may get his chance to return to Afghanistan.  He didn’t want to leave the service, but he was pulled from fighting with the Household Cavalry because not only his title, but also his famous red hair, made him an easy target.  Since then he has been in training with the Army Air Corps to be an Apache Helicopter pilot, and he’s anxious to get up in the air. “At the end of the day you train for war,” he told reporters.  “It’s as simple as that.  If we could be at peace, then fantastic, but if we’re at war then you want to be with your brothers in arms.”  He plans to serve for as long as his military career and political obligations allow it, and has attended a number of services for soldiers killed in battle—including one for a close friend of his—over the past month.  How do you not love this sweet gingey boy?

Of course, this also comes on the heels of a series of articles listing the world’s most eligible royal bachelorettes.    When does that reality show start?  Evidently, he split from Chelsy Davy yet again over the summer, making him impressively hot single ginge planning some great parties.

I hope my invitation doesn’t get lost in the mail.

It isn’t just a jump from a Mel Gibson cameo to a Bill Clinton cameo.  It’s more like a surge; a vault; a trip on the light respectable even.  After replacing Gibson apparently because ‘the cast didn’t like him’ (read: movie-goers wouldn’t pay to see him) with Liam Neeson, someone we’d pay to see even with his clothes on (you’ve heard the rumors), Directors scored Moby Dick.  They got an ex-Prez, someone who has regained respect despite some, ahem, ugliness, and Bill Clinton will appear briefly—as himself, of course—in Hangover 2.  Now that’s something people will pay to see.

"America, how could I NOT say yes?"

It seems that while the film was shooting scenes in Bangkok, Clinton was there delivering a speech on clean energy.  Of course, it’s easy to see why the intern-lovin’ 42^nd President might want to spend some time in Thailand, but the point is that he was there, the film crew was there, and it worked out.  A good ol’ boy like Clinton probably loved The Hangover, which was really, outrageously funny, so playing himself in the sequel was a no-brainer.  Put together a bunch of guys playing overgrown boys and one who is still best known for not having a Tide To Go instant stain remover handy and you’ve got movie magic.  Clean energy, yes.  Clean dress, no.

There will undoubtedly be some suitable raunch in Clinton’s scene.  He will come in contact with the characters played by Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, and Ed Helms.  There are some reports that the scene involves a rickshaw.  By the time those scenes were filmed, Galifianakis had a shaved head, for whatever reason.  Perhaps Liam Neeson’s character will tattoo it later in the film.  The reality is that Bill Clinton has a known sense of humor and has nothing to fear by letting himself have some fun in his first big-screen role.  It suits his style.  He might even allow a few jokes at his own expense, something that we can’t imagine Galifianakis’s character will let slide.  How can a drunken, bald-headed Alan resist looking at Bill Clinton in Bangkok and not soberly pronounce “I did not have sex with that woman”?  It is not in the celluloid-created DNA of Alan to not say it.

Another addition to the cast of Hangover 2 is Paul Giamatti, who is genius at everything he ever does.  So far, he has just shown up on set and the role he will play in the film is entirely unknown, but is expected that it will be little more than an extended cameo, since much of the movie is already done.

With the beloved core cast and the impressive list of cameos—which no longer includes Mel Gibson—Hangover Part II now has a good chance of being more popular than the original.  They’ve got an ex-President, for heaven’s sake.

Take that, Avatar 2!

Or will she?

Sarah Palin’s new highly anticipated foray into Alaskan outdoorsiness is beginning, and anyone with basic cable and no access to NetFlix will be watching.  The show, called Sarah Palin’s Alaska, is produced by Survivor creator Mark Burnett.  It is listed as a “non-political” travelogue of an Alaskan family, but Burnett’s choice of family was as strategic as the shows for which he is known.  What his agenda might be remains to be seen, but it will be interesting to find out.  In the meantime, Palin has said of her chilly home state, as she fishes and handily loads rounds into a shotgun, that, “I’d rather be doing this [here] than in some stuffy political office.”  The words of the rogue rhetorician brought to mind images of her in the Governor’s mansion pushing bullets into a clip.  But she’d rather be doing that in the Great Outdoors, bless her heart.

1...2...3....PUSH!

In one episode, called “Mama Grizzly”, she spends a great deal of time climbing a rock wall while husband Todd encourages her from below, shouting, “Let’s go, Juicy!”  She also bakes cookies with her 9 year-old and climbs various peaks in Denali National Park.  While we are supposed to believe that the ‘true star’ of the show is the Alaskan wilderness, well, that’s what the travel channel is for.  Anyone tuning in wants to see a former Vice Presidential Candidate–and the most easily mocked politician since Dan Quayle–doing the things that she does.

All while she coyly avoids rumors of running for President in 2012.  It could happen.  Ask the Mayans.

She has also been hit with rumors that her marriage to Todd was over, but the two appear to be going strong, bonded by their strong, American-type family values.  Unlike most reality television couples, their wedding rings remain on and they appear to be going strong.  Of course, the first episode of the first season airs just tonight.  Time will tell.

But Todd has been a good husband and showed his wife some solid support when some suspect neighbors moved in next door.  Author Joe McGinniss rented the house last summer, and Todd immediately built a 14-foot fence, supporting the idea that high fences make hostile neighbors.  Sarah commented that, “I thought that was a good example [of] what we need to do to secure our nation’s border.”

Yeah, that’s pretty much what we thought she’d say.  If the fence was electric, topped with barbed wire, and had guard towers every 100 yards or so manned with soldiers carrying sniper rifles.  She might have needed a special permit for that in Wasilla, however, so she settled for a something simpler.

The show may not be political, but while Sarah Palin hikes and fishes and bakes and raises her kids against the gorgeous Alaskan backdrop, she still has time to think about keeping those pesky ‘outsiders’ from getting into the US.  While that debate rages on, she says, “I’d rather be out here, bein’ free.”

Nice work, if you can get it.