Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

What exactly does it say about us as a country when the most level-headed political pundit was once known for wearing pink spandex pants and carrying feather boas (without living in West Hollywood, the Meatpacking district, or anywhere in San Francisco)?  What does it say that the same man later wrote a book called I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed?  Do we want either of those stereotypes speaking in the political arena, and, if we do, do we really expect any level of eloquence or common sense? 

"Ladies and Gentleman, your new moral compass!"

And yet, when a discussion of politics comes up, the voice of reason generally seems to be former-WWE wrestler, former-Governor, former-action-film-star Jesse “The Body” Ventura.  Certainly, this has to be some kind of sign of the apocalypse.  The tobacco-chewing, cowboy-hat-wearing Blain Cooper from the movie Predator (starring later-political sparring partner Arnold Schwarzenegger) is an intelligent, well-read, well-spoken author of five (5) books.  For real.  A man that we so want to fit into a well-defined cliché is not only smart, but has been wearing the wedding ring from the same woman since 1975, and has had no infidelity scandals.  He did admit to using anabolic steroids, but in the world of professional athletics—let’s be honest here—those things are more common than big egos, or crabs.

Now “The Body” is hawking his latest book, American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us.  Okay, so the title is awfully reminiscent of fellow-Minnesotan Al Franken’s Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, but the guy makes some pretty good points.  A lot of his perspective came not from the time he served as Governor, but from living half of the year in Mexico and getting all of his information by reading.  This does not sit well with Larry King.  As entertaining a guest as the opinionated Ventura is, and as intimidating as it can be for the justhisclose-to-his-next-heart-attack host to confront a 6’4”, 245 lb. former pro wrestler, King became irritated by Ventura when he said, “You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney, and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders”.

Okay, how do you not love this guy?

Granted, he did host a show on TruTV called Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura.  He likes the conspiracy theories.  On his current book tour, he is getting raked over the coals over his belief that “The Bush Administration either knew about the plan and allowed it to proceed, or they had a hand in it themselves”.  It’s far from the first time that idea has been proposed, but when it comes out of the imposing mouth of “The Governing Body”, it makes more of an impression.

Whether or not we agree with everything he has to say, he proves again and again that, on most subjects, that he is the only arbiter of common sense in the media. 

Yes, ladies and gentleman, expect the locusts anytime now.  One of our most reliable sources of reason once had the primary goal of putting Hulk Hogan in a half-nelson.

Yes, we are.  We’re still talking about it.  Even after all of the mistresses have been counted and the Escalade has been repaired, it’s still one of the top searches on the internet.  But it’s old news, really.  It is so 2009.  It was okay for a week or so after he got caught and the names started coming out.  He apologized on his website…twice.  Then it was about Elin Woods going to an event without her engagement and wedding rings, and that was a big deal.  Then Tiger went off to no-sex camp for 45 days.

Okay, he's sorry. Now can we, as a culture, move on?

That should have been enough, no?

It wasn’t.  After he got out of his program, he was forced into apologizing again, this time including his sponsors in his speech.  The result was disastrous.  It was the least- convincing apology since John Rocker claimed to be “contrite” (a word he probably couldn’t even spell) for his racist, homophobic remarks in 2000.  Except Tiger probably really meant it, but was paraded onto a stage to again humble himself, and he didn’t look comfortable.  So he didn’t look genuine. 

He reiterated that he was deeply sorry, that he knew he let everyone and their second cousin down, and that he has “a lot to atone for”.  He praised his wife for her strength and begged the media to leave her and the kids alone. 

And as he read words that he clearly hadn’t written—but words he knew to be true—he looked and sounded as if he was going through the motions to get some of his millions of dollars in sponsorship back.  It’s too bad.  If no one had pushed him in front of that podium, he might have gone back onto the tour with some mild controversy, but everything would have gone back to normal soon enough.  Last Friday, he came off less likeable than he was before.  Not even Buddha could save him from that fiasco.

It couldn’t get worse, right?

Wrong.  In steps Howard Stern, with a $100,000 prize for the winner of a beauty pageant in which all contestants are (you guessed it) former mistresses of the golfer.  So far, four have agreed to participate.  An alleged seven have not responded.  And who is supplying the prize money?  AshleyMadison.com, a dating website for married people.  The website states that, “Life is Short, Have an Affair” as its motto.

Seriously, can we move on?  Evidently not, even if Stern relents.  Now several of the women who were with Tiger while he was married are demanding an apology, too.  No, really.  Women who knowingly and willingly slept with a famous married guy want him to say he’s sorry.  What, the movie roles not rolling in, ladies?

We get it.  A famous married athlete slept with someone not his wife. 

Now can someone tell me what the big deal is?

By now, everyone and her second cousin has heard about actor/director/writer/creator-of-hilarity Kevin Smith getting unceremoniously booted off of Southwest Airlines flight for being “too fat”.  His justified Twitter tirade about the embarrassment of getting thrown out of his seat after everyone on the plane already recognized him as “Silent Bob” was hilarious, if not a little sad.  After admitting to being “way fat”, he also pointed out that he was seated with the armrests down and his seatbelt fastened.  Apparently Southwest chose that day to exercise some extraordinarily stringent—and seldom used—policies regarding passenger heft, because I’ve been wedged between the aisle and a person who required a seatbelt extender and decided to muffin-top herself over the arm rests, rendering me unable to move in any direction for hours.  Smith Twittered jokes about being “airlifted” out of the plane under the supervision of Richard Simmons.  He made the best of a potentially-embarrassing situation.

"I'm sorry. You want to pick a fight with WHO now?"

Evidently, Southwest claims that they boarded Smith as a standby passenger before realizing that they had someone of even greater circumference but had purchased two seats to accommodate the excess flesh.  That was thoughtful for a person who requires that much room.  The logic was lost on the folks at Southwest, who offered a weak apology and an explanation that made no sense.  Claiming that the people around him reported a need to lean away from his girth, Smith pointed out that they were already leaning when he got on the plane.  One woman was ready to nap against the window, and the other was leaning towards the aisle.  Duh.  That’s the way people sit on a plane.  As far away from neighboring passengers without actually moving.  I mean, they’re strangers.  Who leans towards a stranger on a plane, unless it’s a creepy guy who’s had a few too many vodka/tonics? 

So now Kevin Smith—who has said that he is done arguing with Southwest because they make no sense—has issued them a challenge.  Continuing his contact with the airline via Twitter, he wrote, “you bring the same row of seats to the DailyShow [sic], and I’ll sit in ‘em for all to see on TV”.  He went on to say, “If I don’t fit, I’ll donate 10K to charity of your choice”.  He went on a bit more after that as well.  He’s mad.

This is a guy who dated Joey Lauren Adams, who was the indie sex goddess of the 90s.  This is the same “too fat” guy who slipped a wedding ring onto the finger of actress Jennifer Schwalbach, a 5’10” babe who has been in Playboy, in 1999 and has kept her happy since.  This is also the comic genius who created Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, not to mention the positively ingenious Dogma (among other films) and has written comic books and even a novel.  This is not the guy you want to get into a war of words with.  Southwest Airlines just poked a cobra with a stick.

If Southwest submits to Smith’s challenge, bringing the offending row of seats onto the set of Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, then a most wonderful and telling event will naturally occur: Kevin Smith will have to fly to New York. 

I’m not sure who he’ll fly, but I’ve got an idea who it won’t be.

John Mayer knows that he is perceived by the World at Large to be a total D-bag.  Probably because he is a total D-bag.  But he apologizes for it.  Then he does something else offensive.  Then he apologizes.  And so on and so on.  All the while that he’s talking about all of the women he’s been with and divulging intimate details of his escapades, new women keep running to him like he’s the last Madonna t-shirt at a Pride parade.

Deep As A Teaspoon.

Most recently, he made remarks that were seen as racist not because John Mayer dislikes black people, but because he’s an idiot who never thinks before he speaks.  He’s recorded with Common and Kanye West.  Common is a strong, political black man who wouldn’t work with a racist.  Kanye West probably had a “Who’s The Biggest D-Bag?” contest with Mayer via Twitter, even as they sat in a studio together.  And it was ALL DONE IN CAPITAL LETTERS.  But then he makes remarks about a ‘Benetton heart and a David Duke”, um, other part of his body, and he’s ticked off an entire community.  Again, not because he thinks like David Duke or has anything against any other races, but because he has a complete inability to filter his thoughts.  That remark would have been funny if he told it to a few friends while they sat in a haze, strumming their guitars.  It is not so funny when you say it to a reporter for Playboy magazine. 

And the chicks still come a-runnin’.  He’s dated Jennifer Love Hewitt, Minka Kelly, Cameron Diaz, and a string of other starlets before hitting the Big Two:  Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston.  We almost wanted John and Jen to stay together, for the rumors of an engagement ring to be true, for them to have beautiful babies.  But, alas, she is a grown-up, and he still believes that, at 32-years-old, he has license to go through women like Kleenex.  The things he said about Jessica Simpson were just TMI.  Even the interviewer from Playboy was a bit taken aback by his candor about their, um, chemistry, when Mayer referred to the singer as “sexual napalm” (Did anyone besides me think of Coming to America and ‘Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate’?).  Papa Joe must’ve had a meltdown over that.  At least Mayer managed to be as respectful as he can be when referring to Aniston. 

To further his jackassery, Mayer states that he is bored with bagging lots of women.  He prefers to be, ahem, by himself these days.  It’s too easy for him to get girls now.  And why is that, anyway?  Okay, so he’s tall, and women like that.  He has a good head of hair, and that’s nice.  He’s okay-looking, although he could clearly use a little less self-play and a little more sleep.  And his singing, well, let’s just say that Justin Timberlake’s imitation of John Mayer was wet-your-pants funny.  And he’s a total d-bag, and admits it.  So why all the panty-dropping?  Ask the nearest 18-year-old girl.  “If I have a conversation with a really hot girl that lasts all night,” Mayer told Playboy, “And she says, ‘Wow, I had no idea I was going to like you this much’”, that is better than sex to him.  He should probably keep looking for the panty-droppers, ‘cuz charming, he ain’t.

While trying to look contemplative and self-deprecating, he says that he has to let himself out of the figurative prison he feels that fame has put him in.  “In 2010,” he says, “My goal is to get more mentions in US Weekly than ever”.  In the same article, he probably put on his wisest expression as he said, “I’m old enough now to know that I need to change”.

That’s our Johnny.  He makes no sense, and when he does, he offends people.  Yet the trail of discarded women behind him grows ever longer.  On behalf of my gender, I’d like to say, “Why?”

Who better to dispense marriage advice than Madonna?  The twice-wed, fresh meat-seeking singer is ready to “help” couples who seek that sort of thing on a television program hosted by Jerry Seinfeld instead of seeking the guidance of a therapist.  The show, called Marriage Ref features celebrities deciding who is right or wrong in disagreements between real spouses.  Kinda like Judge Judy, only less dignified.  Instead of disputes being settled with some kind of logic or law, they will be decided by famous people.  Famous people with questionable track records in the relationship department.  Madonna is the BIG star attraction thus far, and she’s proven herself more than worthy of reality television by rekindling her romance with 23-year-old Jesus Luz while in Brazil this past week. 

Unless Madonna can advise me on how to get one of these, I'm not watching.

Also scheduled to appear on the show are Sarah Silverman, Matt Lauer, Cedric the Entertainer, Matthew Broderick, Alec Baldwin, Larry David, and Charles Barkley, among others.  If Charles Barkley told me I was wrong in an argument, I might not agree, but I wouldn’t say anything.  Alec Baldwin has famously made a fool of himself during his divorce from Kim Basinger, leaving horrifying voicemails for their daughter.  Jerry Seinfeld is happily married to a woman he met just after she returned from the honeymoon following her first happy (but very short) marriage.   Excellent therapists. 

Ricky Gervais, who will also appear on the show, has been with the same woman for 18 years, but has yet to commit to wedding rings.   Eva Longoria Parker, Tina Fey, and Martin Short are also signed up for the show.  According to executives of the Marriage Ref, the celebrities aren’t required to have a great relationship track record; they merely have to be persuasive enough to comedian Tom Papa—the actual Marriage Ref himself—that they are right.

And so we can look forward to all sorts of comedy and commentary from famous people as they give their opinions about other peoples’ relationships.  Some of it should be quite entertaining, but, as with most of these sorts of shows, very little is likely to be resolved.  It’ll be awesome to see what kinds of couples are willing to sit, straight-faced, while celebrities make a mockery of their marital woes.  I guess it’s gotta be cheaper than marriage counseling.

The show begins on February 28, after the Olympics.  All the world, too lazy to reach for the remote, will be watching.

Although this season promises less controversy than ever—with no Dustin Diamond having massive tantrums, no Guy-From-Eight-Is-Enough melting down, no drug-addled outbursts from Jeff Conaway—it is still going to be an entertaining as ever.  Yet another group of the formerly famous has eaten its way to the next step in their waning careers: reality television.  With Drill Sergeant Harvey Walden IV screaming them into submission, they will huff and puff their way to eventual weight loss (they hope).  The comedy began to unfold in the first episode, which aired last night, when Bobby Brown declared of their stark living arrangements, “It’s easy compared to being in jail”. 

I thought people worked out in jail...

Tears come out as Shar Jackson realizes that she still has some unresolved issues with her babydaddy and co-star Jevin Federline.  Evidently, she still remains some amount of surprise that the former backup dancer left her pregnant behind to slip a wedding ring on Britney Spears’ golden finger.  Hopefully, she is able to derive some satisfaction from K-Fed’s admission that he went into a depression after his split from the pop star and ate his way to 232 pounds.  On his first weigh-in, he admits, “I look like a pregnant man right now”.  And this is a guy who knows what pregnancy looks like.  He seems to cause it wherever he goes—at least he did before he gained all those excess kilos. 

Also on the show is former Baywatch star Nicole Eggert, who wears a revealing one-piece bathing suit on the show.  What she reveals is considerably more than was there a few years back.    Sebastian Bach, the once-bad boy lead singer of Skid Row who was reduced to a bit part on chick-drama Gilmore Girls, warns that people have tried to tell him what to do before, and that it never works out.  Alas, he no longer has the youthful angst or energy to back up his claims, and continues to do as Harvey tells him without incident.  Rounding out the cast (so to speak) are KayCee Stroh of High School Musical, who is just a sweet girl; Tanisha Thomas of The Bad Girls’ Club who cries and tries to go toe-to-toe with Harvey and threatens to quit a lot; and Jay McCarroll, the winner of Project Runway’s first season.  He actually appears to be there to work hard, and provides a little comic relief along the way.  He was funny on Project Runway, too. 

Sure, Celebrity Fit Club, like all other reality TV, derives most of its success from the viewers’ desire to see trainwrecks-in-progress.  People will still watch, however, to feel better about themselves because formerly-thin, formerly-rich celebrities let themselves go.  It’s a charming world.  Tune in on Mondays.

Jim Carrey, the actor primarily known for facial contortions and odd behavior, has become “Sir Jim Carrey”.  Actually, since it’s France, the official title is ‘Chevalier’.  Nonetheless, he shares a title with other honorary knights like Sean Connery, Edward R. Murrow, Michael Gambon, Alec Guinness, Stephen Hawking, and George Mitchell.  Of course, those knights are in England.  Order of the British Empire.  Very much a big deal.  Carrey was given his title in France, the country that practically deifies Jerry Lewis.  So maybe it’s not quite the same thing.  He was knighted at the same time as Ewan McGregor, his co-star in I Love You Phillip Morris, a film about a con man who falls in love with his prison cellmate.  The pair celebrated their award with a kiss.

Chevalier Jim Carrey, The Most Honorable Knight in France.

This is not to say that Jim Carrey is now batting for the other team (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  He and Jenny McCarthy, who have been dating for almost five years but show no signs of getting married, will be hosting the fourth annual Saturday Night Spectacular, a very upscale pre-Super Bowl party, on February 6.  Maybe since Reggie Bush said he would marry Kim Kardashian if the Saints win the Super Bowl, Carrey and McCarthy will be inspired to exchange wedding rings.  Or not.  That’s not what anyone is talking about, anyway.

The fact is that Jim Carrey was knighted by someone who has the power to do that sort of thing.  It’s a big leap from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective to “Sir Carrey of Canada”.  French Culture Minister Frederic Mitterand, on presenting Carrey and McGregor with their honors, was heard to say, “I love you, Jim Carrey!  I love you, Ewan McGregor!”  Evidently, the French, in general, feel the same way.  Need I remind you again of Jerry Lewis?

In a way, it is very forward-thinking and bold that France would honor the pair as they wrap filming a movie in which two men fall in love.  Based on a true story, Carrey plays Steven Jay Russell, who meets his soulmate, Phillip Morris, while in prison.  In the film, which casts Carrey as a traditional romantic lead with a few twists, Russell comes up with elaborate plans for escape so he and his love can be together, and free.  Despite the movie being about men falling in love with each other, Carrey has said that he doesn’t “think it’s a gay movie”. 

Um, yeah it is.  There doesn’t have to be leather involved for it to be a “gay movie”.

It is a love story, it is “about the lengths we go to for acceptance or love” (according to Carrey himself), but it’s about two dudes who go to those great lengths.  Own it, Jim.  It’s okay.  We don’t like you any less for it, for heaven’s sake.

PLUS, the French just knighted you.  You and Ewan join George Clooney, Jude Law, Clint Eastwood, Roger Moore, and Vanessa Paradis (no Johnny Depp??)  Enjoy it, and stop dwelling on whether or not Jenny thinks less of you.  She stuck with you through The Yes Man.  She can certainly handle you kissing a guy.

Chevalier Jim Carrey.  Do I hear the thundering sound of the Four Horsemen?

Since the tragic earthquake in Haiti over a week ago, various charitable organizations have made an effort to send aid.  Celebrities have been jumping all over the cause, with the MacDaddy of Third-World Philanthropists, George Clooney, organizing a telethon that is expected to bring in millions.  The event takes place on Friday, January 22, and will have an array of stars doing everything from performing to answering the phones.

Imagine this:

Volunteer:  “Thank you for calling Hope for Haiti Now.  This is Brad Pitt.”
You: “What?”

Yeah, he might answer if you call.  So could Sandra Bullock or Jennifer Aniston.  As of right now, Angelina Jolie is not expected, but that’s probably just as well since she practically ripped the wedding ring off Aniston’s finger a few years back.  You remember that, right?

Amy Fisher Loooooooooves Haiti! Dial Now!

Clooney has used his exceptional star power to bring in Sting, Bono, Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Wyclef Jean, and Shakira.  Christina Aguilera, Taylor Swift and Justin Timberlake are all expected to perform on the live broadcast in Los Angeles, with Wyclef reporting from NYC and Anderson Cooper from Haiti. 

Stars are contributing in other ways, too.  Aside from donating tons of cash, some are taking part in an auction of clothes they wore to the Golden Globes this past Sunday.  Olivia Wilde, Amy Poehler, Meryl Streep, Josh Brolin, and Gerard Butler will be giving 100% of the money raised to Artists for Peace and Justice, which will, in turn contribute it all to the relief efforts.

And then there’s Amy Fisher.  She’s helping, too.  Amy Fisher is the Girl Who Inspired Three Movies of the Week.  She was the girl with the crimped hair who had an affair with a middle-aged mechanic and shot his wife in the face.  And now she is a happily married mother of two who stars in her own pornographic videos (I’ll bet that makes Career Day interesting), hosts her own X-rated website, and, as a part of the deal she made with the distributor of her first sex tape, takes off her clothes periodically at Scene Restaurant and Lounge in Commack, Long Island.  She will be working the pole there tonight, Friday and Saturday, and has made it more than known to the New York Post that she will give a portion of her earnings to the cause.  Kudos to Amy.  Go see her show, and be sure to give ‘til it burns!

Minneapolis, Minnesota – Brett Favre, the 40-year-old, strangely-last-named quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings, was elated when he completed four touchdown passes to lead his team to a 34-3 trouncing of the Dallas Cowboys.  He certainly had every reason to celebrate.  He’s 40.  He officially retired in March 2008, only to come back a la Michael Jordan.  He’s only given a wedding ring to one woman, and she’s stuck by him, even when he got to pretend-date Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary.  And now he’s going to play in the NFC Championship against the New Orleans Saints next Sunday. 

"40-year-old dude did WHAT?"

Of course, everyone will still root against him because it is politically correct to support the New Orleans Saints—not only because Brad Pitt brings cute little munchkin Maddox with him to games, but because the city is still struggling after Hurricane Katrina.

Nonetheless, Favre (inexplicably pronounced “fahrv”, for those of you who aren’t football fans) was celebrating like a, well, moron after the game.  Footage of the post-game clubhouse scene shows Favre singing the American Idol/YouTube sensation “Pants on the Ground”, an original song written by 62-year-old General Larry Platt.  Platt first brought the stinging social commentary to our attention when he performed it for the judges of American Idol in hopes of getting a spot on the show.  Simon Cowell informed him that he was slightly over the age limit of 28, but the General was not upset.  And since then, his song has become a sensation—from comedian Jimmy Fallon performing it as Neil Young, to an NFL quarterback leading his team in chanting it for some reason.

Dude is 40.  He should neither be watching American Idol nor singing anything called “Pants on the Ground”.  Yes, he’s still playing professional football, and he’s even made it to the NFC Championship.  But he’s still 40.  And Southern.  It was embarrassing.

Did the young and devastatingly-handsome Jets’ quarterback Mark Sanchez sing “Pants on the Ground”?  No, and he could have gotten away with it.  He’s 23.  And a rookie.  In a stunning upset over the San Diego Chargers yesterday, it was, once again, all about the rookies.  Sanchez and Shonn Greene were the pivotal players that led the team for the third week in a row.  Coach Rex Ryan, who apparently knows nothing about motivating his team, said: “I will say that I’d like to see Peyton Manning not play this week”.  Way to stand behind your boys, Rex.  Sending out a wish to the cosmos that the Colts’ QB befall some hideous accident between now and next week does not exactly instill confidence in your young team. 

On a side note, in the fourth quarter, Sanchez indicated that Thomas Jones go for the first down by using the accepted signal: a fist pump and then pointing his hand forward. 

Seems our young QB watches Jersey Shore.  Could the fist-pump be coincidence?  I’d like to think not.

On another aside, it should be noted that the author, while raised in the northeast, is a Jets fan because her Dad is.  For the same reason, she takes great pleasure in mispronounced the name “Favre”.

Everyone of a certain age remembers watching Pee-wee’s Playhouse every Saturday and loving it, no matter how old we were.  Then a bunch of things happened and he fell out of the public consciousness.  Now the man who famously married a bowl of fruit salad in the Playhouse episode “Pajama Party”—but never officially exchanged wedding rings with an actual human—is back. 

Of course, for those of you who were not avid viewers of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, marrying a bowl of fruit salad might seem as deviant as some of the charges that were filed against Paul Reubens.  It was, in fact, innocent.  At his pajama party, he said that he loves fruit salad.  Following one of the many ongoing jokes on the show, his friends all said in unison, “Then why don’t you marry it?”  Naturally, Pee-wee said, “All right then.  I will”.  An elaborate ceremony followed.  There were tears.  Miss Yvonne cried.  It was lovely.

At Age 57, He's A Big Kid Who Is Grateful For Digital Re-Touching.

Now, 25 years after we started watching him, almost 20 years since his infamous arrest, and almost 10 years since his first major comeback in Ted Demme’s film Blow with Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz, PW is ready to ready to be in the spotlight again. 

Last night marked the first night of a limited engagement at Los Angeles’ Club Nokia.  Called “The Pee –wee Herman Show”, it is an update of his 1981 production, which played for five months at West Hollywood’s Roxy.  In 1981, every show sold out.  The same is expected for this round, which runs only through February 7.  It was originally scheduled to begin in November at a smaller venue, but devout Pee-wee fans came out of the woodwork, causing the show to require not only a larger club, but more room to create a really, really big production for PW, the cast, and the slew of animatronic puppets.  Paul Reubens’ “kids’ show for adults” is already a hit.

Since its inception in 1978, Pee-wee’s Playhouse has really been meant more for adults than children.  Most of the humor of the show was lost on anyone not yet old enough to drive.  Playhouse was, in many ways, groundbreaking.  Here was this strange boy-man in an ill-fitting suit having co-ed slumber parties with farm animals and talking foliage in addition to his human friends.  S. Epatha Merkerson, now famous for her role as Lieutenant Van Buren on Law & Order, played the saucy character of Reba the Mail Lady.  There was an ongoing flirtation between the very white Miss Yvonne, played by Lynne Marie Stewart, and Cowboy Curtis, played by then-unknown Laurence Fishburne.  It was among the first interracial situations, and it was on a show “for children”.  Performing the famous wedding between Pee-wee and his beloved fruit salad was Ricardo, a Latin-American soccer player.  The show was openly multi-cultural and yet, somehow, no conservative groups rallied against it.  How Pee-wee managed to fly under right-wing radar is something that only Jambi knows.  Also on the show for the first season was another unknown actor, playing the gruff Captain Carl.  It was Phil Hartman.

Reubens has a mission for his new start.  He wants to inspire people of all ages to find their own unique voices.  He told the Chicago Tribune, “This isn’t a nurturing time.  But the message of ‘The Playhouse’ has always been: ‘Dare to be different.  Here are some of the options you might not have thought of’”.  He also intends to make a new Pee-wee Herman movie when the right offer comes along.  Reubens has already received a few offers–including one from Tim Burton to have Johnny Depp play the lead–but he’s holding out for something else.  There’s no doubt that he’ll get it.

And this time, he promises, the Foil Ball will be enormous.