Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

It wasn’t so long ago that Mel Gibson was seen as a fun-loving, charming family man.  Okay, so it was about 20-something years ago, but still, it’s hard to forget him being the adorable, sweet, mildly self-destructive Martin Riggs in the Lethal Weapon movies, opposite Danny Glover.  He was married to the same woman even after he became famous, fathering seven children with his wife, and proudly keeping to the vows from his very Catholic wedding.  He was the unattainable blue-eyed Aussie that women everywhere adored.

Then some things started to change.  People began to see him a little differently with the 2004 release of Passion of the Christ, which some said indicated that he didn’t seem to like Jews very much.  Then, after his 2006 arrest for DUI, he apparently not only blamed Jews for all the wars in the world, but also called a female police officer by various colorful names relating to her girl parts.  In a much earlier interview, he claimed that some of his publicized homophobic remarks were things he shouldn’t have said out loud, but he had been having a bit to drink and said inappropriate things to a reporter.

From Beloved Movie Star to Cult Leader in 20 Years or Less.

Yeah, it would have been much better if he kept his racist, sexist, homophobic comments to himself.  But considering that he made his first public apology for such behavior in 1991, his small-mindedness seemed to have no effect on his career.  He was, after all, Mel Gibson, and his sense of entitlement could eclipse the moon.

Apparently, things started to go south for the raging blue-eyed bigot sometime around 2006.  Perhaps Apocalypto was prophetic in more ways than he had imagined.  His marriage was a wreck and he soon took up with the beautiful Russian singer Oksana Grigorieva.  When it came out that she was pregnant with his child last year, rumors of a big engagement ring exploded all over the internet.  There was just one tiny thing in the way: Mel was still married, and made a big point of being so very Catholic.  His wife filed for divorce anyway, and his little lovechild was born in October of last year.

Now, he and Grigorieva are involved in what has been described as a “bitter” custody dispute over daughter Lucia.  “Bitter” doesn’t seem to be the right word.  The former golden boy is being investigated for physical abuse, and has even let some less-than-flattering words get recorded for all the world to hear.  He uses words like “whore”, and threatens to fire one of the Latin-American housekeepers, using a word that nice people simply don’t say.  Somehow, he kept his rant going to include the “N-word”, perhaps not wanting to leave any ethnic group unscathed.  Now he says that Grigorieva has threatened to let all of the recordings go public, and that just isn’t fair.

Poor Mel.

Will he blame this all on the drink and go to rehab, as celebrities tend to do when they get caught doing outrageously stupid things?

The ultra-conservative, religious father of eight really isn’t helping his cause at all.  One can only hope that the judge in his custody case is a minority.  Or just someone with common sense.

Good luck with that, Mel.

Willie Nelson has been known for several things over the year.  In order of memorability, they are: smoking weed, having super-long hair in braids, smoking weed, singing, and smoking weed.  Recently, he sent shockwaves through the community by ridding himself of one of his trademarks.  And he still smokes weed.  Willie Nelson did what his fans find unthinkable, while the rest of us wonder what took him so long.  Dude cut his hair. 

And the blogosphere was set aflame with the news.

"Hold on, wait. I agreed to do WHAT?"

“Oh, noooooo!” (that’s 6 “o”s)wrote one of his fans after seeing a picture of the famed country singer/actor/pot-smoker.  His waist-length reddish-gray pigtails are no more.  Did he donate them to Locks of Love?  Has he sold them to an underworld Russian syndicate in the hair weave business?  Is he using them to mop up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?  That’s between Willie and his barber.  We may never know.  The 77 year-old is now sporting a girlish bob.  It actually does make him look a bit younger.  As for why he finally chose to lose the hair that hasn’t been in style since…ever, really, his camp is keeping that under their hats, so to speak.  It has been speculated that perhaps the maintenance was an issue.  It had to take a long time to shampoo those gingey locks, if he ever got the urge to do so.  Also, he has been kicking back and relaxing a bit in Hawaii, where it’s warm.  Maybe all that hair was just too steamy.  Or maybe he got tired of catching those boundless braids in doors. 

Or maybe he woke up, peered at himself through a faint green haze, and asked his current wife, “Hey, what year is this?”

In other hair news, it seems that Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen has cut his 80s-style mullet.  But this wasn’t about a personal choice.  Dude loved his Kentucky Waterfall.  But a woman named Jordan Parrish accepted an engagement ring from him, and, this weekend, he is to marry her.  She is, apparently, not a fan of the Hockey Hair, and he is now the freshly-shorn best pass rusher in the NFL.  Although he just a few months ago posted a video touting the coolness of his Ape Drape, he, like Samson, cut his hair. 

It was a truly biblical moment, for Allen to shed his “Business in the Front, Party in the Back” coif.  But he assures us that, although he has lost the mullet, he maintains his “mullitude”.  He plans to grow it back, apparently after his new in-laws have left town.  He asserts that it’s more than a hair style.  It’s a lifestyle, and one he has no intention of leaving behind.  Not many people are likely to argue with the 6’6”, 270-pound mountain of a man, although the mullet has been reviled since it went out of style once the 90s hit.  Jared Allen is no slave to fashion.  He likes his beer cold and his neck warm. 

This is news.  Really.

It seems like so long ago that we were all constantly reminded that if we didn’t go on with our lives normally, then the terrorists win.  We certainly didn’t want that.  Dutifully, we, as Americans, set about our lives in a post-9/11 world.  The government would take care of the rest, right? 

Well, kinda.  In their own way.  In 2003, having failed to find the over-the-top Saddam Hussein and a 6’5” terrorist in a turban (still at large), the CIA offered some more, um, unconventional methods of turning the people against their leaders: make them into porn stars!  This was clearly a tactic destined for success, because everyone knows that you can safely say that all Muslims don’t like porn, and especially gay porn.  Or is that Republican gubernatorial candidates?

America, ****, yeah!!

It is no coincidence that the very same year that the CIA was planning their invasion, Paris Hilton became instantly famous with the release of her sex tape.  Clearly, the CIA was checking TMZ to monitor the pulse of society.  If a socialite could parlay a tape of her nekkidness into fame, fortune, her own fragrances, and about 20 different engagement rings, then surely the US government could use the same means to flush out a couple of bad men from countries where nekkidness is not tolerated.

So they first planned to create a video in which the Iraqi dictator was having relations with a teenage boy.  According to one of the officials on the project, “It would look like it was taken by a hidden camera, very grainy, like it was a secret videotaping of a sex session.”  It was to be staged using actors.  Whether or not those actors would come from rentboy.com is still classified.  They planned to flood Iraq with the videos, but abandoned the project when someone pointed out that nobody would care.  “We always mistake our own taboos as universal,” the former official added.  In many parts of the Middle East, bathhouses are still very much a part of the culture, men walk around holding hands, and a couple of male humans without their clothes on just wouldn’t create much of a stir.

As for the guy who has become the ultimate boogeyman, Osama bin Laden, they had something else in store for him.  They actually had time to make a video showing the gaunt guerilla sitting around with the guys, chugging whiskey and sharing their various conquests with members of the same sex.  Evidently, rather than hire actors, the CIA chose to just use “some of us darker-skinned employees”, according a former officer. 

Ultimately, it was not the quality or expected efficacy that brought “Operation: Adults-Only Al-Qaeda” (or whatever they called it) to a grinding halt.  It was lack of funding.  The coffers of the covert action fund were empty, and the government seemed somehow reluctant to fill them for this purpose.  Maybe the CIA should check with bin Laden’s ex-girlfriends, or even Vivid Entertainment.  They might have the real deal, just lying around, waiting for the world to see.

Was the CIA copying South Park?  And if so, would Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been able to sue?

Poor, poor Jesse James.  That forlorn man who forces a sad smile to his face as he admits to being “the most hated man in the world”.  We know that you are heartbroken, having lost your wife, your children, and the respect of your peers.  What can we, as a community, do to comfort you in your time of need?  Is there anything that can possibly be done to ease your aching heart?

Call one of your girlfriends, jackass.

Speaking as though his heart positively aches, he claims that he “wanted to get caught”.  He is self-destructive.  We need to feel bad for him.  He wanted his infidelities, in all their grossness, to become public because it sickened him to lie to her.

So why didn’t you just not do it?

Shut up. Can someone get the remote?

We all wanted this unlikely pairing to work out.  Sandra Bullock, sweet, funny, charming, and full of love with the ultimate bad boy.  Good girls everywhere who failed in their own attempts to turn bad boys into good men were rooting for them.  We wanted to see the tattooed, oddly-facial-haired, once-married-to-a-porn-star but still somehow-sexy engine jockey be the man of Sandy’s dreams.  And he did.  He dutifully stood by her side and never seemed to resent being in her shadow on the red carpet.  He promised to always protect her.  He bought her a vintage Neil Lane engagement ring.  When they married in their quirky ceremony, he wore a wedding band that she made herself in his shop.

The same shop where he would use his computer to pick up chicks.  The same shop that they came to for the explicit purpose of doing disgusting things while his wife was away shooting movies.

He is overcome with sorrow.  He almost can’t bear to talk about.  Almost.  He went away to sex rehab and, since his triumphant return, has been sure to be photographed with his kids a lot. 

She’s not taking you back.

But he nonetheless is thought to be looking at homes near Austin, Texas, a place that Bullock considers a second home.  Now he’s going on television to tell everyone how much he still loves his soon-to-be ex-wife.  We are reminded how he cried when his then-wife won an Oscar—an Oscar—because he was so proud.

No, dude felt the axe coming down.  One of his girlfriends was clearly a fan of the spotlight and would do anything for attention.  “Bombshell” was just waiting for this moment, when all the stars were aligned in her favor and the spotlight was right on the man she was having affair with while his wife was off filming the movie that won her the Academy Award.  It was the perfect time to get the maximum amount of attention.  She went from obscurity to notoriety in about 2 seconds.

But he’s so, so sorry.

Whatever, dude.  Is there anything else on?

Now that Nadya Suleman’s famous herd of children has turned one year-old, the once-sought-after mother of 14 is finding herself, well, less sought after.  Since she turned down Vivid Entertainment’s offer to pay her mortgage if she starred in a porno film for them, the job offers have not been coming in.  Not even Hugh Hefner wanted to photograph her personal parkway.    Since getting a real job is positively out of the question and the men aren’t exactly lining up, throwing engagement rings at her and begging to be “Mr. OctoMom”, it seemed that Suleman would have to sell her soul to the devil to get her mortgage current.

The Price of Dignity.

And that’s pretty much what she did.  Currently at risk of losing her La Habra, California home, she made a deal with PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).  The deal for the ad has been in the works for a few months, but it is only just now that Suleman revealed the poster that will grace the front lawn of her home, one that urges pet owners, “Don’t let your dog or cat become an ‘octomom’.  Always spay or neuter.”  For that, she gets five grand and a month’s supply of veggie burgers. 

That’s the price she has put her remaining dignity. 

Evidently, PETA came up with the idea, knowing that Suleman’s back was against a wall, but wrote a compelling letter to her in which they noted that, “When you gave birth to octuplets to bring your total number of children to 14, you grabbed headlines and got the world talking about your controversial decision…Every year, 6 to 8 million animals are turned over to animal shelters, and roughly half of them are euthanized because of the lack of good homes.”  Either Suleman didn’t or couldn’t read the subtext of the offer. 

All most people see when they look at Nadya Suleman is a completely irresponsible woman who chose to give birth to 8 babies by in vitro fertilization, even when she couldn’t afford the first 6, also conceived that way.  Small wonder the State of California is in financial crisis.  They’ve been keeping one Orange County welfare mother knee-deep in Huggies while spending a mint to keep Mexicans who are willing to work out of the country. 

Would it be such a bad thing to send Nadya Suleman and her gaggle of kids to Mexico in exchange for some folks who aren’t afraid of an honest day’s labor? 

PETA has been in the news lately for a few other reasons as well.  First, they took a shot at R&B singer Kelis, who openly wears fur.  Her response was swift and direct, and PETA was not amused.  I don’t know how she managed to stay off of the animal rights group’s radar for so long, considering her biggest hit was called “Milkshake”, and she made no mention of soy or rice in the lyrics.  Now the adamantly-vegan group is trying to lease the Dyersville, Iowa field from the Kevin Costner baseball movie Field of Dreams.  They want to use the land the build a temporary display detailing the treatment of pigs by Iowa farmers.  It will be called “Field of Nightmares: Pig Empathy Display”.

I expect that will go over really well in a state that relies on beef cattle and porky pigs for its survival.  Field owners Don and Becky Lansing will probably agree to the lease about the same time that Nadya Suleman first says “Would you like fries with that?”

Courtney Love, who was immensely cool in the 90s when Hole released “Live Through This”, is still controversial, but has pole-vaulted the line into complete madness.  Yes, through the years she has stayed in the papers, mostly by neglecting the needs of her daughter and losing custody a few times.  She has enjoyed many a battle via Twitter, using the social media to air grievances in the most passive-aggressive way possible.  Now she’s released a new album under her old band’s name despite being the only original member left, her daughter has left her completely, her oldest friend and  collaborator hates her, and—oh yeah—she’s claiming that she had a long-term affair with Gavin Rossdale since he’s been with Gwen Stefani.  And that Gwen knew about it.

Oozing class from every pore. Well, oozing something, anyway.

If Gavin Rossdale was sleeping with Courtney Love, I can’t imagine that Gwen would let him touch her with a ten-foot anything.  But Love insists that the pair was very close during the height of their fame, and that she even considered marrying him.  Well, he would have had to ask first, and, as we all know, it was Gwen who got the diamond-studded engagement ring.  The story seems unlikely, especially when she reveals that she needed to end the relationship because everyone was saying that the Bush frontman sounded exactly like Kurt Cobain.  As anyone alive in the 1990s can tell you, it was not difficult to tell the difference.  Apples and oranges.

Now one of Courtney’s only lifelong allies, Billy Corgan, is angry with her.  It seems that they recorded some songs together a while ago, and Courtney chose to put them on her new album.  That’s a financial minefield that Love just strolled into, since Corgan should be receiving credit for his work and hefty compensation as well.  And if the songs are good, well, he really needs the positive press.  His street cred took a beating when he was caught hanging out with Jessica Simpson, after all.  We still haven’t forgotten that dark and confusing time.  Ever the soft-spoken, gentle recording artist, Billy chose to rant at Love as celebrities seem to these days: he tweeted them.  “Thought #1: my face is my face, my heart is my heart, my money is my money.  Oh, and my songs are MY songs+if you can’t write your own songs?”  It’s almost poetic, his hostility. 

But he can’t be surprised.  This is a woman who has been a hot mess since before she was famous.  Then she married Kurt Cobain and got instant recognition—and a ton of money.  And money does things to people.  It can either make you Courtney Crazy, or it can make you like Gwen Stefani, who hasn’t really changed that much and everyone loves.

Her further allegations that she had an affair with a female supermodel came with a totally uncharacteristic discretion.  So she’ll dish about sleeping with a happily-married man, but won’t reveal the name of a single woman she was with once?  The claim seems particularly odd when Love says that the model was chasing after her, and not vice versa.  What was it about her that drove a supermodel and a married rock star wild?  Is it her classy behavior?  Her elegant style of dress?  Her calm disposition?

Or maybe she’s got a new album to promote and a nasty plastic surgery habit to support.  You know, among other things.

Nothing quite says “I love you” like a Sunday night wedding at a Las Vegas chapel where the guests can’t keep themselves from laughing.  It was a week ago that Shayne Lamas, winner of the 12th season of The Bachelor, and Nik Richie, master of the misogynist website “The Dirty”, exchanged vows at the Little White Wedding Chapel.  Although they had known each other for less time than it takes milk to curdle, Shayne wore white and was all giddy, repeating “I’m a bride, I’m a bride,” for the cameras.  Ever the gentleman, Nik (real name: Hooman Karamian) did buy a $130,000 5-carat diamond engagement ring for his slow-witted spouse.  In this case, however, the engagement ring came after the wedding.  That can happen when you marry someone you’ve known for either one day or one week, depending on who you ask.

Makin' Her Papa Proud.

Shayne Lamas was first known as the spawn of the long-haired, wife-beater-wearing former sex symbol Lorenzo Lamas.  He was known for being an 80s icon, appearing on Falcon Crest and then starring in his own show, Renegade, in which he played a fugitive who managed to avoid getting caught while he “roamed the badlands” on a loud, flame-painted Harley and worked as a bounty hunter for a Native American fella with the rockin’est mullet EVER and a taste for pimp-style suits.  So that’s one half of her heritage. 

Then Shayne became a contestant on season 12 of The Bachelor, the one in London, where women competed for the love of a desperate British man.  In the end, Matt Grant chose Shayne to be his future wife.  They were interviewed shortly after the finale aired.  Shayne appeared to be blissfully in love with her engagement ring.  The couple split up a few months later.  Was it the distance?  After all, she lives in LA and he in London.  Was it a difference in values?  Or maybe Matt finally saw a rerun of Renegade and considered the cheese factor in the gene pool.

But it was none of those things.  The real issue became abundantly clear when E! began airing Leave It to Lamas, a reality TV show a la Keeping Up with the Kardashians, only with—believe it or not—more complaining.  Leave It to Lamas capitalizes on the still-famous surname, although Lorenzo himself does not appear in every episode.  Shayne does, though.  As does her brother AJ, who has some difficulties living up to the tremendous legacy of his father, who was trying in one episode to pass out autographed photos of himself by saying his own name and mentioning the show Renegade.  And then there’s Shayne’s mother, Michele Smith, who appears to be intoxicated every time she’s on camera.  The true star of the show is the incessant whining of young Shayne.  Even while wearing stripper heels and drag queen-style makeup, she speaks in the voice of a very dissatisfied 5 year-old.  Perhaps the voice is a nod to the Kardashian girls and Paris Hilton, who also speak like children.

But what would make a girl run off to Vegas with some guy that she knows her family will hate?  What would cause a daddy’s girl like little Shayne to marry a man whose life’s work is to make fun of women?  Well, I’m no psychologist or anything, but could it have to do with the recent announcement that 52 year-old Lorenzo is marrying someone 2 years younger than his daughter after a lengthy 3-month courtship?

Shayne Dahl Lamas married Hooman Karamian in a charming Vegas wedding chapel.  I wonder if she knows his real name.

Tonight begins a new television series for Alyssa Milano.  The good thing for her is that she has a job again.  The bad thing is that she might be remembered for this instead of Who’s The Boss?  Yes, yes, she had that stint on Charmed, but no one really talks about it and fewer watched.  The only reason to tune in was the possibility of seeing Shannen Doherty have a meltdown.  Right now, Milano is still considered wildly sexy to men of a certain age: the ones who grew up watching her on Who’s The Boss? and fell in love with her teased hair, pegged acid-wash jeans, and Brooklyn accent.  And now, she’s throwing all of that away on an already-critically-panned sitcom called Romantically Challenged.  She says that she uses her years of dating experience to help her get into character.

Risking the whole "sex goddess" thing.

Of course, she’s not dating anymore in real life.  30-something men and Major League pitchers mourned when Milano accepted an engagement ring from Daniel Bugliari in January 2009.  They’re married now.  But her social life was much talked about, especially among baseball fans.  She was our own real-life Baseball Annie, with a taste for pitchers.  She dated Barry Zito, Carl Pavano, and Brad Penny.  In her book “Safe at Home: Confessions of a baseball fanatic”, she says that she had sworn off ballplayers until Brad Penny said “Let’s go down to the clubhouse”.  That’s supposed to be some kind of justification, or vindication, or something.  Why couldn’t she just admit that some of us can’t help chasing the tall guys with the bubble-butts? 

But I digress.

On her new show, Milano plays a recently-divorced mother of a 16 year-old girl.  This is like kryptonite to the libidos of the men who are still in love with the 1980s, vintage Alyssa.  But she is determined to have another go at sitcom fame.  She has a younger sister on the show who thinks that promiscuity is the way to go.  Then there are two male friends in the mix.  It’s your basic sitcom platform with different actors thrown in.  And it runs a high risk of turning the men who are still melting all over at the sight of her into guys who think of her as another married chick in her 30s. 

Remember when she played Amy Fisher in one of the three made-for-TV movies about that whole “Long Island Lolita” thing?  That one didn’t disrupt Milano’s reign as Italian-American Sex Goddess because she was wearing the same clothes as she did as Samantha Micelli, and even in the same size despite her growth.  But this is dangerous, this new role.  Playing a divorced mother of a teenager will forever change the way her fans view her.

But then, she’s always got her Dodgers.  And Giants.  And Marlins.  And Yankees.

Well, Reggie Bush has been seen lately with Paris Hilton, who is said to have broken up with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt.  For an ex to date again is one thing.  For an ex to hook up with a walking petri dish is another thing altogether.  Kim Kardashian, after years with Reggie Bush, did not receive the expected engagement ring after his Superbowl victory.  Instead, they broke up.  Again.  And it was likely that they would end up back together, because they complemented each other so well.  Reggie didn’t even seem to mind that all of the Kardashian women have the voices of 5 year-old girls.  Then he met Paris Hilton.  Next to Hilton, the Kardashian girls sound like Barry White. 

Why wouldn't Reggie feel threatened by this testament to masculinity?

And Kimmie met Real Madrid footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.   He has dated Paris Hilton, but really, who hasn’t?  Probably not realizing that there are two different types of football—American football and the kind the rest of the world plays—she found her way to make Reggie jealous.  Apparently they met in Miami, where they were seen kissing and laughing.  Their shared mastery of the English language was probably a bonding point.  That, and their love for shopping, tight t-shirts, and short shorts.

Several different media outlets reported that Kim attended one of Ronaldo’s recent games after flying to Spain to spend some quality time with him.  After the game, she hopped into a car that followed Ronaldo back to his home, where she was seen leaving after about four hours.  That’s plenty of time to watch Spartacus and eat raw cookie dough.  She left for her hotel (no overnight generally means one of two things.  Anyone care to venture a guess?) and flew back to the States the next day to do some kind of photo shoot with her sisters.

Both Kardashian and Ronaldo (that name really should belong to the Brazilian Ronaldo) are very busy with their various occupations, with Kim posing nude for Harper’s Bazaar magazine and C.Ronaldo posing for in tiny underwear for Armani.  They really are a match made in heaven, with only a few things standing in their way.  There’s the complete “ick factor” created by any physical contact with Paris Hilton.  There’s the idea that Kim and Reggie Bush only split about 5 minutes before was seen dining and laughing with C. Ronaldo.  And there’s one other thing, too.  Ask his teammates.  Or check YouTube.

It completely makes sense that Kim and Cristiano would have a great time hanging out together.  They have a lot in common.  But as for making Reggie Bush jealous?  Well, that’s not so likely.

Let’s face it.  Normal people do not go on reality TV shows.  Normal people do not look for love in front of millions of viewers.  Normal people do not allow intimate moments to be captured on film—to be run in syndication ad infinitum—with the hope of finding a soul mate.  They do it for the fame.  Or the money.  Or both.  Let’s just ponder the idea of 25 women vying for the love of Flavor Flav.

Are you thinking about it?

So beautiful, it could be scripted...oh, wait...

So was it really a surprise to find out the latest winner of The Bachelor has a tainted past?  No one liked her or wanted her to win, but Vienna ended up getting the gigantic 2.02 carat Neil Lane diamond engagement ring (2.72 if you count the setting) from Jake Pavelka.  We already knew that she had “former Hooters waitress” on her resume.  When reports surfaced this week that she had been in a relationship with Central Florida’s most successful weed dealer, there was little shock.  But we all eat up a scandal, don’t we?  Evidently, Vienna dated Chase Alley, called a “drug kingpin” in some of the more melodramatic articles, and was with him until she left for the taping of The Bachelor.  The same articles claim that she was in contact with him throughout the process. 

When your boyfriend is arrested and charged with 50 counts of buying, selling, and possessing an outrageous amount of MaryJane, not to mention trafficking, money laundering, and racketeering, and could be in prison for up to 20 years, what’s a girl to do?

Reality TV is always the answer.  Now she’s got a big ol’ rock on her finger, courtesy of whatever network plays the show.  And she’s engaged and “madly in love”.  Jake has even said that they are “more in love than ever”, even as he takes his next step in the reality TV cycle: Dancing with the Stars.  But while he claims to be happy with Vienna (and her little dog, too!), he seems to be getting more than chummy with his partner on DWTS, Chelsie Hightower.  They act like teenagers together.  The giggling, the flirting, the taking-this-tango-really-seriously.  Jake says that they are just friends.

Yeah, just like the “friendly” $10,000 diamond ring former NFL player Chad Ochocinco gave to his DWTS partner, Cheryl Burke.  With friends like that, who needs a wife?

Something about reality television just breeds drama, drama, drama.  And, while it’s all trash, it is the trashiest of the trash that we love the most.  Flavor of Love set the bar pretty high, but then came I Love New York (in which one of Flav’s reject trannies has 20 or so men compete for her love), RuPaul’s Drag Race, and whatever Tool Academy is.  Not to let basic cable take away viewers, networks had to pick up the slack, and we are now at a point in the devolution of our society that people actually want to compete on something called The Biggest Loser. 

So maybe Vienna is a pot-smoking, two-timing, “can-I-bring-you-an-order-of-buffalo-wings-honey”, not very nice person.  She’s smart enough to know that if her boyfriend went to prison, and even if she didn’t find love on The Bachelor, there’s always the next season of The Bachelorette.  And Jake went onto a show with a long history of relationship failures to find Mrs. Right?  Now that he’s already onto his second reality show, we can pretty much count down to the time he appears on The Surreal Life.  It isn’t about looking for love.  It’s a career move.

We’ll be watching.