Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Yes, Lady Gaga accepted her award for Video of the Year wearing an outfit made entirely of meat.  The Jersey Shore kids, despite Snooki’s understated blowout, shaved designs into their hair and piled on as many diamonds as their abdominal muscles could support.  Cher resurrected, and rocked, an outfit from the 80s.  Katy Perry wore an outfit reminiscent of Lil Kim’s 1999 purple pasty disaster with just slightly more coverage.  But the moment everyone was waiting for was Taylor Swift’s response to Kanye West’s interruption of her award last year.  Second only to that was Kanye West’s new song, which we expected to be an apology of some sort.  Since Swift has been known to write songs in which she skewers ex-boyfriends, her performance this year was expected to embarrass West.  That was the result, but not because of Taylor Swift.  It was because, despite anything that happens in the world, Kanye West can’t help but be himself, and that means showcasing what a giant jackass he is.

The moment that launched a thousand memes.

The beginning of Swift’s performance was expected: a video montage of West’s Hennessey-fueled interruption of her teary acceptance speech last year.  But then the lights went down, and she began seated, strumming a guitar and singing a very sweet song.  How disappointing for the blogosphere that she took the high road.  Wearing an understated, painfully light pink dress and no shoes, she addressed the whole scandal by singing, “32 and still growing up now/Who you are is not what you did/You’re still an innocent”.  She sang a song of forgiveness, and everyone, no matter how much they applauded or even wept, was a little bummed out that she didn’t compose lyrics that were tastefully mean.  Now her squeaky-clean image squeaks all the louder.  That doesn’t make for great headlines.

But then, eventually, Kanye West took the stage.  While his set was uncharacteristically modest, he wore a fire engine-red suit and countless gold chains.  His song “Runaway” was as close as he gets to an apology, but it really wasn’t one.  It was, in that special Kanye way, all about him.  His lyrics were just slightly less than sweet, saying, “I always find something wrong/You’ve been puttin’ up wit’ my **** just way too long/I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like most”.  In Kanye World, that is self-deprecating.  He then goes on to rap, “Let’s have a toast for the douchebags/Let’s have a toast for the a**holes/Let’s have a toast for the scumbags/Every one of them that I know…Run away as fast as you can”.  It’s his universe, and he is who he is, so everyone who can’t take it should run away.  His song did ring true in one way, when he said, “I’m young, rich, and tasteless”.  But he didn’t indicate that he is sorry for staying in the company of dirtbags and people who feed his supersized ego.  He just advised nice girls to stay away from him.

Awww….Pity Party for Kanye!

Or not.  Apparently, when West got word that Swift would be singing a song about him, he pushed to meet with her before the VMAs started.  The two met in her dressing room and “talked things out”.  What Kanye West will never understand is that he can’t go toe-to-toe with someone like Taylor Swift.  She will always be the sweet, beautiful, ethereal treasure and he will always be, well, Kanye West.  Whether Swift meant this to be the best possible public relations move to secure her place as America’s Sweetheart, we may never know.  But by writing a kind, tender song about forgiveness and change, she made Kanye look even nastier than before.  Red might not have been the best color choice for someone going up against someone perceived as an angel.

Well played, Taylor Swift.  Well played.

Yes, we are still talking about the issue of a mosque possibly being built on or near the former site of the World Trade Center.  Without getting into the whole political blah-blah-blah, there are some actions being taken that just don’t make an ounce of sense.  As usual, painfully misguided and outrageous megalomaniacs have weighed in and offered their own unsolicited opinions and personal versions of help.  And not one of these has been without a personal agenda, none of which is about religion or even fanaticism (those are two totally different things, by the way).  The most outspoken folks—from one side, the other, or neither—are interested only in the press that it brings.

"Two weeks ago, y'all didn't even know my name."

First there is Pastor Terry Jones of the painfully-misnamed Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida.  He arranged “Burn a Koran Day” for September 11, 2010, allegedly as a memorial event for the terrorist attacks.  First, the good Pastor seems to forget one important thing that works a bit contrary to his objective: anyone who might participate in such an even would probably not have a Koran on the shelf next to back issues of Shotgun News, so they would, in fact, have to purchase one.  Is Jones hoping to drive the Islamic text straight to the top of the New York Times Bestseller List?  If not, he needs to rethink some things.

Then there are the responses from just about everyone in the political and military arenas.  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton called the event “disrespectful and disgraceful”.  Attorney General Eric Holder used the words “idiotic and dangerous”.  White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs said that, “any type of activity like that …puts our troops in harm’s way”.  Many Christians, including evangelicals who are peers to Pastor Jones, have spoken out against the book-burning, and veterans’ groups are asking for the event to be cancelled.  Gainesville city police and the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office both plan to send hefty bills, estimated in the tens of thousands of dollars, to the church for the necessary police presence.  President Obama told ABC News that the affair is “completely contrary to our values as Americans.  This country has been built on the notion of freedom and religious tolerance”.  And the church has had a few visits from the FBI, reportedly to discuss the inevitable public safety issues that something as inflammatory as “Burn a Koran Day” will bring.

Even with General David Petraeus warning that US troops still in the field will be put in imminent peril should the affair go on, Pastor Jones has somehow worked it out in his head that canceling would be tantamount to the US “backing down”.  And then forgetting who he is.

The sad thing is that he has succeeding on a massive scale in one way: everyone knows his name.  Everyone hates him, but everyone knows his name.  For some, that is enough.

Speaking of which, Donald Trump has also put his two cents in.  Actually, he’s offered to pay the full cash price plus 25% of what the owners paid for the planned site of the mosque.  He has vowed to merely move it five blocks away from Ground Zero, rather than the planned two blocks.  He’s missing the point, of course.  He could offer to have the next winner of The Apprentice design and build a mosque/Islamic studies center made entirely of diamonds and platinum, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with what this mission is about.  Fostering a bit more understanding of Islam and the tenets on which it is based is the objective.  Fanaticism in the US has turned this into a ridiculous firestorm.  Ironically, it is similar fanaticism that brought the towers down in the first place.

The purpose for Pastor Jones and Donald Trump is the same: fame, fame, and more fame.  It is with irritation and more than a little bit of shame that I give them 700 more words to add to their recognition.

But seriously, this is all just too moronic and nonsensical to ignore.

It isn’t like Venus Williams is known for her modesty.  She never did favor the standard tennis dresses.  And why would she?  Although there are some unusually tall women playing tennis—it gives a natural advantage to the player—Williams is 6’1” and looks likes she’s carved out of marble.  She’s an Amazon in the most flattering use of the word.  Taller even than her sister, she grew up as all tall women do, waiting for the boys to catch up.  While she waited, she became one of the best tennis players in the world.  And while she realized, again as all tall women do, that most boys would never catch up, she developed a way to celebrate her body by designing her own tennis outfits and wearing diamonds while she plays.

If you've got it, honey, flaunt it.

If you’re gonna be in Center Court, you shouldn’t be afraid to stand out.

Once again, Venus created controversy on Sunday because of what she was wearing.  Did it matter that she played a good game and, in fact, won?  Not when someone actually kept count of the number of times Venus Williams had to adjust her hot pink, rhinestone-decorated self-designed dress.  It often rode up a bit to reveal matching brown rhinestone-decorated tennis shorts.  CBS, apparently finding no real news to report on, enumerated the times she had to adjust her clothes.  John McEnroe and Dick Enberg took time to discuss it.  The final tally of 42 tugs at her dress was evidently more interesting to them than the way she played, winning the match 7-6, 6-3.  Winning is not what made news.  McEnroe felt that the dress appeared to be too much of a distraction to Williams, who, he pointed out, seemed to be uncomfortable in it.  How uncomfortable could it have been?  She won.  Shouldn’t we focus on that?  Apparently not.  We should, instead, focus on the tennis champion’s penchant for wearing flesh-colored shorts under her dresses and not caring if people see them.

Let’s be honest here: if we all had bodies like that, we’d bedazzle the heck out of our undies and wear them outside our clothes, too.

Today, Williams faces #6 seed Francesca Schiavone.  While tennis fans will tune in to watch an exciting match, everyone else will check out what Venus is wearing.  And it will be something cool, something different, something that she feels expresses her personality.  She likes bright colors.  She like rhinestones.  And, bless her heart, she likes to draw attention to an amazing body that she has worked her entire life to sculpt.  If it distracts her opponent, well, that’s not her problem.  If she wins, the press will still focus on her dress, and if she loses, the press will blame it on her fabric choices.  What does a woman have to do to be recognized for her talent?  How many times does a woman have to win almost every tournament in which she participates before her sportswear makes fewer headlines than her hard work?

Women everywhere should be thanking Venus Williams for showing that we can be talented and successful without desperately trying to fit into some antiquated mold that simply wasn’t built to last.

For the self-proclaimed purists out there, think of it this way (and I’ll even use another sport to explain): Fenway Park is held as one of the last remaining Old School ballparks that doesn’t bear the name of a gigantic corporate entity.  That’s great.  But the ballpark was built at a time when people were smaller.  The reason Red Sox fans are known for getting drunk and rowdy is, in part, because that’s the only way to not focus on how narrow the seats are and how little legroom there is.

Venus Williams is creating her own exclusive, theoretical legroom and letting the game of tennis catch up to her (maybe the boys will follow suit?).

As for me, I’ll be doing some lunges and bedazzling some shorts while I watch her next match.

Just because a guy has a certain amount of football acumen, just because he had a successful career, and just because he is even an NFL Hall of Famer does not mean that he is qualified to talk about the sport on television.  Athletes are known for, well, athletics.  Expecting them to speak eloquently is like expecting an orangutan to learn sign language; it can happen, but it’s not likely.  For every John Madden there are about 50 morons hoping to get a similar job.  Somehow, former NFL player Dan “Danimal” Hampton got in front of a camera and wasted no time putting his enormous shoe into his even larger mouth on Pro Football Weekly, where he will be working for maybe the next ten minutes.

What was that you were saying about the Cowboys again?

Sometimes, it is okay to joke about a tragedy, if enough time has passed.  It depends on amount of time and the magnitude of the event.  Holocaust humor is, for example, still generally unacceptable.  Likewise, 9-11 jokes.  But most of the world can safely make a Hindenburg or Titanic remark without being lynched.  But some wounds a too fresh.

Dan Hampton is, on paper, a good candidate to talk about football.  He was a great player.  He was Defensive Lineman of the Year, Defensive Player of the Year, six-time All-Pro selection, four-time Pro Bowl selection (and two-time alternate), and scored himself the coveted gaudy, diamond-encrusted Superbowl ring with the Chicago Bears in 1985.  The same year, he opted out of participation in the still-embarrassing “Superbowl Shuffle”. Oh, Jim McMahon, you were never more embarrassing.  And that’s saying something.  That would be the last time Hampton would show any semblance of taste.

So back to Hampton and his foot-in-mouth disease.  Boy Genius decided it was a good idea to say, regarding the Minnesota Vikings playing against the Saints in New Orleans, “The Vikings need to go down there and hit that town like Katrina”.

Really, Dan?  Really?

Unfortunately, no takesy-backsies once it’s aired on television.  If Mike & Mike weren’t busy talking about it, the blogosphere certainly was, and ain’t nobody pleased.  Tom Waddle, Hub Arkush, and Pat Boyle all managed to move past it relatively unfazed, but we all know they would have preferred to sink down under the desk and wait for the hurricane (pun intended) of emails and calls to hit.  Maybe they that the 1979 first-round draft pick might watch his mouth after that.

Not so fast, fellas.  Just as we expect simple, pure wisdom to come from children (“Out of the mouths of babes”), so can we expect athletes to say things that just shouldn’t be said (I’m looking at YOU, John Rocker).  While discussing the NFC East with his co-hosts, Dan Hampton said this: “The [Dallas] Cowboys think they’re Clint Eastwood; they’re more of the Brokeback variety if you know what I’m talking about”.

Yes, we get it, Dan.  You are not only completely indifferent to suffering, but you’re a homophobe to boot.

And the boot is exactly what he should get, and pronto.  Please, before he makes all turn to watching European football instead

Disgraced former Liberian President Charles Taylor finally found the one thing that Naomi Campbell can hold on to.   The once model/current egomaniac was called as a witness in the everlasting trial against Taylor, who is currently being prosecuted in The Hague on 11 vile counts: 5 counts of War Crimes, 5 counts of Crimes against Humanity, and 1 count of Serious Violation of International Law.  In short, he is a bad, bad man.  The trial has not in any way curtailed his love of the ladies, despite his ongoing marriage to the most deluded woman on earth.

Next time, Naomi, buy your own diamonds and keep your mouth shut.

While in South Africa in 1997, Naomi Campbell and Mia Farrow were at a dinner hosted by Nelson Mandela.  For some reason, Charles Taylor was there.  Because he was a man with a lot of power and all the money than he could possibly collect from the enslavement of his own people, Campbell flirted with him.  According to the model’s former agent, Taylor promised to send some men to give her diamonds.  The next morning, over a delicious breakfast, Campbell told Farrow that during the night, two men presented her with a “huge diamond”.

Naturally, when Taylor was arrested for murder, terrorizing civilians, mutilating and beating, sexual slavery, use of child soldiers, etc., Campbell changed her story.  She had no interest in participating in the trial of the man who has come to stand for all that is heinous and evil in the trade of blood diamonds.  But the woman is no stranger to subpoenas, and knew she would have to testify.  And what was she to do?  The truth was absolutely out of the question.  While on the stand, she said that she was awakened in the middle of the night and presented with some “dirty-looking stones”.  She claimed not to know who sent them, or that they were even diamonds.

When Mia Farrow was called to the stand, however, she told a different story.  She said that Campbell had excitedly told her that she had received a huge diamond, and that the men who brought it let her know that it was a gift from Charles Taylor.  It’s just the kind of thing that Naomi Campbell would brag about over her morning coffee.  The details were fuzzy, however, as Campbell, it turns out, was lying to her friend.  She had, in fact, received diamonds, but there were a few and they were uncut stones.  The men told her that they were diamonds, but the supermodel, undoubtedly horrified that they were not of the sparkly, beautifully-cut variety, donated them to the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund.

While in The Hague, she lamented that, “I just want to get this over with and get on with my life.  This is a big inconvenience for me”.  That poor thing.  How she must have suffered, being flown in to testify against a man who made his fortune from the subjugation and torture of his own people.  The whole ‘doing the right thing’ aspect of taking the stand eluded her.

This incident is so minor in the trial that it really doesn’t even bear repeating, except that Naomi Campbell was once famous for being beautiful, and is now famous for throwing things at people.  And it did get her back into the spotlight.  Good for you, Naomi.  Now we like you even less.

In a time when we hear so many things about love gone wrong, celebrity divorces, ugly custody battles, and flagrant infidelity, it is heartwarming to know that there are still some true romantics out there.  Such is the story of one Franklin Barndt, who showed all of us that nothing, not even inevitable jail time, was to keep him from marrying Takesha Piazza.  Last December, Franklin was in his home in Easton, Pennsylvania, when the police busted in and caught him with 20 grams of crack cocaine.  He was arrested and charged with intent to distribute.  On Friday, as a motions hearing for his case was about to be heard, Barndt’s attorney asked for a most unusual sidebar, requesting that his client be allowed to marry his girlfriend before the proceedings.

Young Love Presides at Crack-Bust Wedding Ceremony.

At first, Judge Leonard Zito balked.  It seemed, somehow, not an appropriate usage of the taxpayers’ time and money.  The Assistant District Attorney indicated that she, too, did not approve.  But, according to Gary Asteak, Barndt’s defense attorney, “Love can’t wait.  Love is immediate and demanding.”  Maybe Judge Zito thought it would save time to not fight it.  Maybe he was overcome with the wave of romance and sentiment that swept through the courtroom as the prospective groom stood before him in his prison-issue tuxedo alternative.  Asteak explained that the couple had been trying for weeks to arrange their nuptials and had even obtained a marriage license, but Barndt’s imprisonment made things a bit challenging.

Judge Zito relented and, after hearing the motions, presided over the ceremony in which the couple exchanged—with a criminal defense attorney as the best man and opposing counsel as maid of honor. Due to ever-present handcuffs around the groom’s wrists, wedding rings were not exchanged.  The ADA even tried to argue that the crack dealer should not be able to kiss his blushing bride, but kiss they did.  With a room chock full of witnesses, the defendant got his girl.  No reports on whether or not tears abounded.

This was just a motions hearing, so Zito was to return to custody immediately after.  Judge Zito made it clear that he would still be hearing the criminal case and that the warmth of the wedding would have no bearing on his decision.  The new Mrs. Piazza-Barndt was overcome with emotion and is looking forward to going on a honeymoon with her new husband.  Since drug trafficking is a class A felony in Pennsylvania and carries with it a maximum sentence of 20 years, she could be waiting a while to see the sandy shores of Hawaii with her man.  Nonetheless, the frizzy-haired groom and his new wife were all smiles, showing all of us that not only Charlie Sheen’s marriages can withstand drug busts.

Ah, young love.  Perhaps the two will be able to keep the ceremonial handcuffs as a wedding gift from the county upon the groom’s release.  Whenever that is.

Now that Lady Gaga has become a household name—albeit a silly one—she has apparently decided that she is ready to take it to the next level.  She is going to be a movie star.  Sources reveal that she is ready to star in a film that “will be a mix between Moonwalker and Dreamgirls”, the story of a young girl’s dream to be a famous singer and the long, torturous road it took to become an icon for gay men all over the world.

Lady Gaga Film Likely To Be Horror Movie.

At first, it seemed like Gaga was a cheap Madonna knockoff.  Now, she’s a really expensive Madonna knockoff.  She’s all about the crazy outfits and doing pretty much anything to get attention, including wearing little more than her underwear at a Yankees’ game, and perhaps even getting banned from all future games for being seen on the jumbotron with both middle fingers flying high.  After bombing at a previous Lollapalooza, she has returned to the famous tour and is apparently not being booed off the stage this time around.  She was seen at a show in Chicago over the weekend wearing underwear, a bra, fishnet stockings, and more diamonds than Lil Jon has on his pimp cup and grill combined.  She’s come a long way, baby.

Her next venture will, naturally, be on the big screen (ahem, Madonna’s Truth or Dare, ahem).  According to the source, “Gaga wants to emulate what Michael Jackson did during the 80s.  You can already see that with her music videos.  Every one of them is mini-event”.  Well, her videos are mostly like little movies, and they do get lots of Thriller-type attention.  But let’s hope that she doesn’t emulate everything that Michael Jackson did in the 80s.  Underage boys deserve a rest.

But if she wants to make the jump from the 10-minute “Telephone” video to a full-length feature film, well, why not?  She’s just as capable as Madonna is to have herself filmed talking about sex with a bevy of sycophants, and hopefully more capable than Mariah Carey was to act in a story not terribly different from her own life.  As for mixing Moonwalker and Dreamgirls, that’s no small task.  But it isn’t like we’ll be surprised by strangeness.  Oddity is Gaga’s signature.  It wouldn’t be shocking at all to see Lady Gaga with a beehive hairdo grabbing herself while dancing.

Bryan Singer, who directed X-Men and The Usual Suspects, is in talks to direct this film.  Gaga will settle for nothing but the best.  And why should she?  After shattering all records with 13 MTV Video Music Award nominations this year and seeing her album The Fame go diamond, selling more than 10 million units, her ego must be getting close to Madonna-like proportions.

I just hope she doesn’t write any children’s books.

It came as no surprise when Charlie Sheen agreed to plead guilty to one count of misdemeanor third-degree assault when opposing counsel offered to drop two other charges, including felony menacing.  This all stems from the argument he had with wife Brooke Mueller last Christmas during which she claims that he threatened her with a large knife.  Now he is free to continue work next week on his still-popular sitcom Two and a Half Men.  There’s a great role model for the kids to be watching.

Charlie Sheen is free to menace again!

One can only assume that the agreement was drafted by an opposing attorney who was himself under the influence of something.  The terms of Sheen’s release include 30 days of probation, 36 hours of anger management, and 30 days of rehab.  Not only can Sheen check into his second home, Promises (into a room that by now must be known as the “Charlie Sheen Suite”), but he might not have to go at all, since the 93 days he’s spent there this year alone might be able to negate any rehab related to this particular conviction.  The actor was also concerned about suffering the embarrassment of performing community service in Aspen, playground of many of his rich and famous friends.  Picking up trash alongside the highway while Robert Downey, Jr. bombs by in a Porsche is just more than the comedic actor can handle.

Sheen has, evidently, already done a 36-hour anger management course, but that might not apply to this case.  Brooke Mueller, who admitted to a few addictions of her own, has also done some rehab and, according to Sheen’s attorney, both have been sober for months.  Months.  That must come as a huge relief to Denise Richards, Sheen’s first wife and mother of two of his children.  Now he’s likely to be a much better Daddy.  He and Mueller, who finally stopped wearing her wedding ring in June (although that could change at any time), have reconciled several times since the Christmas Day event.  According to the 43-page divorce papers that have been drafted—but not yet signed—Sheen will have ample visitation with his twins by Mueller, and neither parent will be able to talk trash about the other in front of the kids.  We’ll see whether it is little Bob or young Max who first utters the phrase “money-grubbing” or “violent junkie”.

While it is, as usual, the kids who suffer the most in these situations, it is normal for the parents to suffer a little, at least.  For Charlie Sheen, who is no stranger to domestic violence and drug addiction, to be able to return to work on his popular television show within a week after his conviction seems, somehow, just not quite right.  But that’s Hollywood.  It’s a shame that Charlie Sheen can’t seem to reinvent himself the way Robert Downey, Jr. has.  But, then, it was over a year in jail that finally forced the actor to change his ways.

So far, Charlie Sheen has dodged more bullets than he ever did in Platoon.

It would not be accurate to say that all of the contestants on Dancing with the Stars have been light on their feet.  One might say that some of them have been downright awful (ahem, Kate Gosselin).  But if Troy Aikman was truthful in blabbing to TMZ that he will appear on next season’s competition, we can brace ourselves for an all new level of elephantine clumping.  Sure, some football players have done a pretty good job on the show, something you might expect from a running back or a wide receiver.  They make their livings using footwork to catch balls thrown by hulking masses known as quarterbacks.  The NFL doesn’t sign quarterbacks for their ability to run any more than Major League Baseball signs pitchers for their ability to hit home runs.

Stick to what you know, Big Guy. Please.

The day after Aikman made his surprising announcement, he backpedaled—even better, I might add, than he ever did on the field—joking that it would interrupt his schedule with American Idol.  It is likely that he changed his tune because ABC doesn’t like to reveal the casting of upcoming seasons until they can do it their way.  One might argue that Aikman would be better qualified to judge potential singers on American Idol that he is to dance anywhere, ever.  Not all the Ochocinco-style diamond rings and diamond necklaces distributed to the judges daily, under cover of darkness, will win him the competition.  It’ll be fun to watch, though.

As for American Idol, Troy Aikman is just about the only person not rumored to become a judge next season.  With Ellen DeGeneres bowing out and Simon Cowell finally ready to move on, speculation about the potential replacements has ranged from the ridiculous to the even more ridiculous.  Jessica Simpson was the first name thrown to the wolves, the Elton John, Harry Connick Jr., Justin Timberlake, and even Howard Stern.  Sean “Diddy” Combs apparently expressed interest in taking time out of his busy ego-massaging schedule to join the panel.  Now it appears that Jennifer Lopez is actually signed on as a new judge.  And the most disturbing rumor, particularly if it comes true, is that Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler has been approached to be on the show.

Really, Steven?  Please let this be a joke.  While it would be entertaining to see him as a guest judge on the show, it would be just embarrassing for this to actually become a full-time gig for him.  American Idol is pop culture at it worst (maybe a close second to Dancing with the Stars, but still), and he is The Man.  He was rock and roll even when it wasn’t cool, and he continues to be, no matter how old he gets.  He’s a legend.  He can still rock out with the best of ‘em, and millions upon millions of fans were ecstatic when Aerosmith announced their current tour.  Seeing him sitting next to Randy Jackson and J. Lo would be degrading, at best.  Counter-culture, Steven, please.

The new seasons of Dancing with the Stars and American Idol promise lots and lots of pre-season controversy.  Let’s hope that’s all it is.

It actually made news when Jon Hamm, one of many breakout stars from the series Mad Men, proclaimed that he has no desire to ever get married.  Men everywhere exalted the behavior of the borderline-misogynist, alcoholic, philandering, double-life-leading Don Draper.  Such is the nature of the beast, they rationalized.  Now they can elevate him to god-like status as he made it clear in an interview with Parade magazine that doesn’t want to get married, saying: “I don’t have the marriage chip”.

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt: Together, Happy, Not Married.

Perhaps this is just a way for him to deflect questions regarding his longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt, whom he met in 1997.  It was easy for the couple before he got so famous, but now, in the age of endless engagement/marriage/divorce speculation that celebrities must endure, he has been asked often when he plans to put an oversized engagement ring on her finger.  This is because people assume that every woman desperately wants to be married and bear children.  Hamm cleared this up—for now—in the article, explaining that neither of he nor Westfeldt have good examples of marriages in their own families, so they are content to just be together.  “We’ve already been together four times longer than my parents were married,” he said.

Some of us wait a long, long time to find role models that don’t see marriage as a necessity.  Yes, most people get married, making a big deal out of planning a proposal, showing off the engagement ring, and throwing weddings that cost more than a house.  And that’s great for them.  But what of the others, the outliers, the folks that can be in love without turning it into a three-ring circus (pun intended)?  Where are they to look for validation?

First, those outliers don’t need validation.  If they did, they’d do what people are “supposed to do” and get married.  But it is heartwarming to see couples that are with each other because they like to be, with or without making the cover of People magazine.

But a man does make the cover of magazines when he says that he has no intention of getting married, or is, at least, not planning on it.  The irony is that the men who look at Jon Hamm and his revelation with awe are married, or going to get married, circus and all.  As for the ever-present question about having kids (Westfeldt is now 40 years old), he was equally candid, saying, “I like kids, but I also like the option to close the door”.  He understands that, once you have children, you have taken on a 24-hour a day job.

As for the “normal” people, the 80% of Americans who get married at least once by age 40, well, good for them.  If that’s what they want, then that’s what they should do.  Marriage is a beautiful commitment, and having children is, evidently, wonderful as well.  But outliers like Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt shouldn’t be criticized for following their own path.  Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for 25 years.

We don’t have to like Don Draper, but you’ve gotta respect Jon Hamm for his honesty.  It’s refreshing in Hollywood.