Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Disgraced former Liberian President Charles Taylor finally found the one thing that Naomi Campbell can hold on to.   The once model/current egomaniac was called as a witness in the everlasting trial against Taylor, who is currently being prosecuted in The Hague on 11 vile counts: 5 counts of War Crimes, 5 counts of Crimes against Humanity, and 1 count of Serious Violation of International Law.  In short, he is a bad, bad man.  The trial has not in any way curtailed his love of the ladies, despite his ongoing marriage to the most deluded woman on earth.

Next time, Naomi, buy your own diamonds and keep your mouth shut.

While in South Africa in 1997, Naomi Campbell and Mia Farrow were at a dinner hosted by Nelson Mandela.  For some reason, Charles Taylor was there.  Because he was a man with a lot of power and all the money than he could possibly collect from the enslavement of his own people, Campbell flirted with him.  According to the model’s former agent, Taylor promised to send some men to give her diamonds.  The next morning, over a delicious breakfast, Campbell told Farrow that during the night, two men presented her with a “huge diamond”.

Naturally, when Taylor was arrested for murder, terrorizing civilians, mutilating and beating, sexual slavery, use of child soldiers, etc., Campbell changed her story.  She had no interest in participating in the trial of the man who has come to stand for all that is heinous and evil in the trade of blood diamonds.  But the woman is no stranger to subpoenas, and knew she would have to testify.  And what was she to do?  The truth was absolutely out of the question.  While on the stand, she said that she was awakened in the middle of the night and presented with some “dirty-looking stones”.  She claimed not to know who sent them, or that they were even diamonds.

When Mia Farrow was called to the stand, however, she told a different story.  She said that Campbell had excitedly told her that she had received a huge diamond, and that the men who brought it let her know that it was a gift from Charles Taylor.  It’s just the kind of thing that Naomi Campbell would brag about over her morning coffee.  The details were fuzzy, however, as Campbell, it turns out, was lying to her friend.  She had, in fact, received diamonds, but there were a few and they were uncut stones.  The men told her that they were diamonds, but the supermodel, undoubtedly horrified that they were not of the sparkly, beautifully-cut variety, donated them to the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund.

While in The Hague, she lamented that, “I just want to get this over with and get on with my life.  This is a big inconvenience for me”.  That poor thing.  How she must have suffered, being flown in to testify against a man who made his fortune from the subjugation and torture of his own people.  The whole ‘doing the right thing’ aspect of taking the stand eluded her.

This incident is so minor in the trial that it really doesn’t even bear repeating, except that Naomi Campbell was once famous for being beautiful, and is now famous for throwing things at people.  And it did get her back into the spotlight.  Good for you, Naomi.  Now we like you even less.

In a time when we hear so many things about love gone wrong, celebrity divorces, ugly custody battles, and flagrant infidelity, it is heartwarming to know that there are still some true romantics out there.  Such is the story of one Franklin Barndt, who showed all of us that nothing, not even inevitable jail time, was to keep him from marrying Takesha Piazza.  Last December, Franklin was in his home in Easton, Pennsylvania, when the police busted in and caught him with 20 grams of crack cocaine.  He was arrested and charged with intent to distribute.  On Friday, as a motions hearing for his case was about to be heard, Barndt’s attorney asked for a most unusual sidebar, requesting that his client be allowed to marry his girlfriend before the proceedings.

Young Love Presides at Crack-Bust Wedding Ceremony.

At first, Judge Leonard Zito balked.  It seemed, somehow, not an appropriate usage of the taxpayers’ time and money.  The Assistant District Attorney indicated that she, too, did not approve.  But, according to Gary Asteak, Barndt’s defense attorney, “Love can’t wait.  Love is immediate and demanding.”  Maybe Judge Zito thought it would save time to not fight it.  Maybe he was overcome with the wave of romance and sentiment that swept through the courtroom as the prospective groom stood before him in his prison-issue tuxedo alternative.  Asteak explained that the couple had been trying for weeks to arrange their nuptials and had even obtained a marriage license, but Barndt’s imprisonment made things a bit challenging.

Judge Zito relented and, after hearing the motions, presided over the ceremony in which the couple exchanged—with a criminal defense attorney as the best man and opposing counsel as maid of honor. Due to ever-present handcuffs around the groom’s wrists, wedding rings were not exchanged.  The ADA even tried to argue that the crack dealer should not be able to kiss his blushing bride, but kiss they did.  With a room chock full of witnesses, the defendant got his girl.  No reports on whether or not tears abounded.

This was just a motions hearing, so Zito was to return to custody immediately after.  Judge Zito made it clear that he would still be hearing the criminal case and that the warmth of the wedding would have no bearing on his decision.  The new Mrs. Piazza-Barndt was overcome with emotion and is looking forward to going on a honeymoon with her new husband.  Since drug trafficking is a class A felony in Pennsylvania and carries with it a maximum sentence of 20 years, she could be waiting a while to see the sandy shores of Hawaii with her man.  Nonetheless, the frizzy-haired groom and his new wife were all smiles, showing all of us that not only Charlie Sheen’s marriages can withstand drug busts.

Ah, young love.  Perhaps the two will be able to keep the ceremonial handcuffs as a wedding gift from the county upon the groom’s release.  Whenever that is.

Now that Lady Gaga has become a household name—albeit a silly one—she has apparently decided that she is ready to take it to the next level.  She is going to be a movie star.  Sources reveal that she is ready to star in a film that “will be a mix between Moonwalker and Dreamgirls”, the story of a young girl’s dream to be a famous singer and the long, torturous road it took to become an icon for gay men all over the world.

Lady Gaga Film Likely To Be Horror Movie.

At first, it seemed like Gaga was a cheap Madonna knockoff.  Now, she’s a really expensive Madonna knockoff.  She’s all about the crazy outfits and doing pretty much anything to get attention, including wearing little more than her underwear at a Yankees’ game, and perhaps even getting banned from all future games for being seen on the jumbotron with both middle fingers flying high.  After bombing at a previous Lollapalooza, she has returned to the famous tour and is apparently not being booed off the stage this time around.  She was seen at a show in Chicago over the weekend wearing underwear, a bra, fishnet stockings, and more diamonds than Lil Jon has on his pimp cup and grill combined.  She’s come a long way, baby.

Her next venture will, naturally, be on the big screen (ahem, Madonna’s Truth or Dare, ahem).  According to the source, “Gaga wants to emulate what Michael Jackson did during the 80s.  You can already see that with her music videos.  Every one of them is mini-event”.  Well, her videos are mostly like little movies, and they do get lots of Thriller-type attention.  But let’s hope that she doesn’t emulate everything that Michael Jackson did in the 80s.  Underage boys deserve a rest.

But if she wants to make the jump from the 10-minute “Telephone” video to a full-length feature film, well, why not?  She’s just as capable as Madonna is to have herself filmed talking about sex with a bevy of sycophants, and hopefully more capable than Mariah Carey was to act in a story not terribly different from her own life.  As for mixing Moonwalker and Dreamgirls, that’s no small task.  But it isn’t like we’ll be surprised by strangeness.  Oddity is Gaga’s signature.  It wouldn’t be shocking at all to see Lady Gaga with a beehive hairdo grabbing herself while dancing.

Bryan Singer, who directed X-Men and The Usual Suspects, is in talks to direct this film.  Gaga will settle for nothing but the best.  And why should she?  After shattering all records with 13 MTV Video Music Award nominations this year and seeing her album The Fame go diamond, selling more than 10 million units, her ego must be getting close to Madonna-like proportions.

I just hope she doesn’t write any children’s books.

It came as no surprise when Charlie Sheen agreed to plead guilty to one count of misdemeanor third-degree assault when opposing counsel offered to drop two other charges, including felony menacing.  This all stems from the argument he had with wife Brooke Mueller last Christmas during which she claims that he threatened her with a large knife.  Now he is free to continue work next week on his still-popular sitcom Two and a Half Men.  There’s a great role model for the kids to be watching.

Charlie Sheen is free to menace again!

One can only assume that the agreement was drafted by an opposing attorney who was himself under the influence of something.  The terms of Sheen’s release include 30 days of probation, 36 hours of anger management, and 30 days of rehab.  Not only can Sheen check into his second home, Promises (into a room that by now must be known as the “Charlie Sheen Suite”), but he might not have to go at all, since the 93 days he’s spent there this year alone might be able to negate any rehab related to this particular conviction.  The actor was also concerned about suffering the embarrassment of performing community service in Aspen, playground of many of his rich and famous friends.  Picking up trash alongside the highway while Robert Downey, Jr. bombs by in a Porsche is just more than the comedic actor can handle.

Sheen has, evidently, already done a 36-hour anger management course, but that might not apply to this case.  Brooke Mueller, who admitted to a few addictions of her own, has also done some rehab and, according to Sheen’s attorney, both have been sober for months.  Months.  That must come as a huge relief to Denise Richards, Sheen’s first wife and mother of two of his children.  Now he’s likely to be a much better Daddy.  He and Mueller, who finally stopped wearing her wedding ring in June (although that could change at any time), have reconciled several times since the Christmas Day event.  According to the 43-page divorce papers that have been drafted—but not yet signed—Sheen will have ample visitation with his twins by Mueller, and neither parent will be able to talk trash about the other in front of the kids.  We’ll see whether it is little Bob or young Max who first utters the phrase “money-grubbing” or “violent junkie”.

While it is, as usual, the kids who suffer the most in these situations, it is normal for the parents to suffer a little, at least.  For Charlie Sheen, who is no stranger to domestic violence and drug addiction, to be able to return to work on his popular television show within a week after his conviction seems, somehow, just not quite right.  But that’s Hollywood.  It’s a shame that Charlie Sheen can’t seem to reinvent himself the way Robert Downey, Jr. has.  But, then, it was over a year in jail that finally forced the actor to change his ways.

So far, Charlie Sheen has dodged more bullets than he ever did in Platoon.

It would not be accurate to say that all of the contestants on Dancing with the Stars have been light on their feet.  One might say that some of them have been downright awful (ahem, Kate Gosselin).  But if Troy Aikman was truthful in blabbing to TMZ that he will appear on next season’s competition, we can brace ourselves for an all new level of elephantine clumping.  Sure, some football players have done a pretty good job on the show, something you might expect from a running back or a wide receiver.  They make their livings using footwork to catch balls thrown by hulking masses known as quarterbacks.  The NFL doesn’t sign quarterbacks for their ability to run any more than Major League Baseball signs pitchers for their ability to hit home runs.

Stick to what you know, Big Guy. Please.

The day after Aikman made his surprising announcement, he backpedaled—even better, I might add, than he ever did on the field—joking that it would interrupt his schedule with American Idol.  It is likely that he changed his tune because ABC doesn’t like to reveal the casting of upcoming seasons until they can do it their way.  One might argue that Aikman would be better qualified to judge potential singers on American Idol that he is to dance anywhere, ever.  Not all the Ochocinco-style diamond rings and diamond necklaces distributed to the judges daily, under cover of darkness, will win him the competition.  It’ll be fun to watch, though.

As for American Idol, Troy Aikman is just about the only person not rumored to become a judge next season.  With Ellen DeGeneres bowing out and Simon Cowell finally ready to move on, speculation about the potential replacements has ranged from the ridiculous to the even more ridiculous.  Jessica Simpson was the first name thrown to the wolves, the Elton John, Harry Connick Jr., Justin Timberlake, and even Howard Stern.  Sean “Diddy” Combs apparently expressed interest in taking time out of his busy ego-massaging schedule to join the panel.  Now it appears that Jennifer Lopez is actually signed on as a new judge.  And the most disturbing rumor, particularly if it comes true, is that Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler has been approached to be on the show.

Really, Steven?  Please let this be a joke.  While it would be entertaining to see him as a guest judge on the show, it would be just embarrassing for this to actually become a full-time gig for him.  American Idol is pop culture at it worst (maybe a close second to Dancing with the Stars, but still), and he is The Man.  He was rock and roll even when it wasn’t cool, and he continues to be, no matter how old he gets.  He’s a legend.  He can still rock out with the best of ‘em, and millions upon millions of fans were ecstatic when Aerosmith announced their current tour.  Seeing him sitting next to Randy Jackson and J. Lo would be degrading, at best.  Counter-culture, Steven, please.

The new seasons of Dancing with the Stars and American Idol promise lots and lots of pre-season controversy.  Let’s hope that’s all it is.

It actually made news when Jon Hamm, one of many breakout stars from the series Mad Men, proclaimed that he has no desire to ever get married.  Men everywhere exalted the behavior of the borderline-misogynist, alcoholic, philandering, double-life-leading Don Draper.  Such is the nature of the beast, they rationalized.  Now they can elevate him to god-like status as he made it clear in an interview with Parade magazine that doesn’t want to get married, saying: “I don’t have the marriage chip”.

Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt: Together, Happy, Not Married.

Perhaps this is just a way for him to deflect questions regarding his longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt, whom he met in 1997.  It was easy for the couple before he got so famous, but now, in the age of endless engagement/marriage/divorce speculation that celebrities must endure, he has been asked often when he plans to put an oversized engagement ring on her finger.  This is because people assume that every woman desperately wants to be married and bear children.  Hamm cleared this up—for now—in the article, explaining that neither of he nor Westfeldt have good examples of marriages in their own families, so they are content to just be together.  “We’ve already been together four times longer than my parents were married,” he said.

Some of us wait a long, long time to find role models that don’t see marriage as a necessity.  Yes, most people get married, making a big deal out of planning a proposal, showing off the engagement ring, and throwing weddings that cost more than a house.  And that’s great for them.  But what of the others, the outliers, the folks that can be in love without turning it into a three-ring circus (pun intended)?  Where are they to look for validation?

First, those outliers don’t need validation.  If they did, they’d do what people are “supposed to do” and get married.  But it is heartwarming to see couples that are with each other because they like to be, with or without making the cover of People magazine.

But a man does make the cover of magazines when he says that he has no intention of getting married, or is, at least, not planning on it.  The irony is that the men who look at Jon Hamm and his revelation with awe are married, or going to get married, circus and all.  As for the ever-present question about having kids (Westfeldt is now 40 years old), he was equally candid, saying, “I like kids, but I also like the option to close the door”.  He understands that, once you have children, you have taken on a 24-hour a day job.

As for the “normal” people, the 80% of Americans who get married at least once by age 40, well, good for them.  If that’s what they want, then that’s what they should do.  Marriage is a beautiful commitment, and having children is, evidently, wonderful as well.  But outliers like Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt shouldn’t be criticized for following their own path.  Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for 25 years.

We don’t have to like Don Draper, but you’ve gotta respect Jon Hamm for his honesty.  It’s refreshing in Hollywood.

Justin Bieber, who appears to have supplanted the Jonas Brothers as the puppy love poster boy, has decided to branch out a bit from his normal routine of singing to pre-teens and shaping his hair.  It appeared that he was joining the ranks of not-so-innocent celebrities Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Khloe Kardashian, tweeting out a picture of him wearing the prison-orange jumpsuit with the caption “I told you I was a BAD MAN”.  Two things wrong with that statement.  He is, at age 16, far from being a man; and he is not actually going to a real jail.  The only crime he has ever really committed is against the environment as he brazenly abuses hairspray.  The picture is from his role as a troubled teen on the season premiere of CSI September 28, as the long-running series hopes to draw in a new demographic.

Adult women, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

CSI has really been running on fumes for a while now, driving away William Petersen (although there are rumors of his return) and Gary Dourdan, who played the thinking person’s dream man Warrick Brown.  Evidently, it is no longer the thinking person who interests the creators of CSI.  It is the underoos-tossing, poster-smooching mob of teenage girls who follow The Biebs everywhere he goes.

This is a boy who has somehow drawn such a following that Kim Kardashian received death threats when she tweeted that she had developed a condition known as “Bieber Fever”.  The threats were not, however, taken seriously, as the people sending them are suburban girls with little access to firearms.  Plus, Kim is rarely seen without some kind of NFL player by her side.  The police were not called.  It seems, however, that adult women are also creepily drawn to the young Canadian.  His baby face and age-appropriate style of dress do not act as a deterrent, but actually seems to draw women to him.  The only way he upgraded his fashion was by replacing the dog tags on a regular chain with dog tags on a chain of diamonds.  He debuted that style at the 23^rd Annual Kids Choice Awards.

So the squeaky-clean young man has taken on an acting coach and accepted an edgy role on an adult-oriented TV series, although the episodes in which he costars will undoubtedly cause an epidemic of tween girls asking to stay up past their normal bedtimes to watch their little idol.  He has appeared Chelsea Lately, a show that absolutely never has content appropriate for the boy or his fan base, and he flirted with the 36 year-old host.  Singer Katy Perry, who is inexplicably attracted to and marrying the also-interesting tresses of British comedian Russell Brand, has professed her attraction to Bieber.  She posted a picture of herself with The Biebs, stating, “Told you I would tap that.  Yummy”.

Yuck.

For those of us who fail to see the charm of Justin Bieber and have not actually ever bothered to watch him sing, all of this is nothing short of mystifying.  His hair is strange, and he has a girly way of shaking his head to ensure that it is always properly arranged.  And he’s 16.  And he’s everywhere.  When the photo of him in his prison jumpsuit hit the internet, there was a glimmer of hope that maybe we wouldn’t be bombarded with his image for a few months—or at least until he reached puberty.

No such luck.  Look for him on primetime television.  Those of use without pedophilic tendencies will be rearranging our sock drawers or, perhaps, reading books.

Susan Boyle is still famous.  She still brings tears to people’s eyes when she sings “I Dreamed a Dream”.  She has released an album and used the proceeds to buy a home in her quaint little Scottish village.  She is charming and popular because she people want to see her perform even though she doesn’t look the way most famous singers do, and her figure is more Pavarotti than Madonna.  Bless her heart for not going on the magic lemonade diet to fit into Hollywood beauty standards.  But Susan is now looking beyond show tunes and love songs, and her new dream that she’s dreaming involves a collaboration with Lady Gaga.  More frightening than that is Lady Gaga’s mutual interest in recording with the former Britain’s Got Talent runner-up.

Do they make this costume in Susan Boyle's size? Gaga ooh-la-la.

Boyle has said that she even wants to wear the famous “Telephone” hat.  It’s somehow difficult to imagine our Scottish dame watching the full, ultra-controversial video of Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”, with its prison scenes and serial killing, and thinking: “That’s someone I’d really like to get to know”.  This is not the same shy, unassuming Susan Boyle who nervously performed on British television.  This is Boyle 2010, a woman who likes the funky costumes that Lady Gaga wears and gets white gold jewelry encrusted with diamonds from Simon Cowell for her birthday.  So far, the closest the two have come to performing together was in last year’s Halloween episode of Regis and Kelly Live, when Kelly dressed up as Gaga and Regis, predictably, as Susan.

But the two would like to work together, and that’s something.  Since she became famous, Boyle has been fielding offers from some really interesting sources.  50 Cent has said he’d love to do a track and even perform live with her.  Snoop Dogg has also said that he wants to work with her.  On an episode of Jimmy Kimmel, Kimmel asked Snoop how he can achieve the same laid-back ultra-cool vibe that the rapper exudes.  Snoop’s response was to join him in the aptly-named Green Room before the show.  It would be worth whatever came out of the recording studio to see Susan Boyle and Snoop getting lit together and then struggling to understand each other’s location-specific accents.  Boyle is not, one imagines, well versed in the language of the LBC.  She has admitted to not experiencing the “Sexual Eruption” that became one of Snoop’s most popular recent tracks.  Snoop has filmed his own porn films in the Girls Gone Wild style, although he was not an active participant.  Although she has started wearing makeup, added a little fashion to her wardrobe, and colored her hair, Boyle still looks like a 4^th-grade teacher.  Snoop barely attended school.

But still, the most unlikely and interesting duo is easily Boyle and Gaga.  Would they cover a song together?  Would we hear Susan’s voice belting out the “Rah rah ah ah ah/ Roma roma ma/ Gaga ooh la la” that has become the Lady’s signature?  Or would Gaga work her own rendition of “How Great Thou Art”?  Or, dare we dream a dream that they would write a song together?  And can we get video of their lyric-writing sessions?

As long as they don’t trade costumes, I’m all for it.

Not a surprise that OG Ice-T had some negative things to say about a police officer.  Although he has been in the rap game since 1987, he is most notorious for a song released when he fronted the first rap-metal band Body Count.  That song, called “Cop Killer”, caused such an uproar that the album had to be re-released with that track left off of it.  Every uptight police force in the country took it personally, although Ice-T continually asserted that it was art imitating life and was a response to specific acts of police brutality.  The LAPD in particular countered that it would cause a wave of attacks on officers of the law.  Somehow, they—along with the help of the NRA—won that argument, despite the First Amendment.

Ice-T and NYPD: Way to go, Officer Fisher.

When Ice-T was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt and having an expired New York Driver’s License (but a valid New Jersey license), he and his most interesting wife Coco were bringing their puppy to the vet.  Of course, he could have made things a little easier by not immediately calling the arresting officer a “punk b****”, but the cop didn’t have to counter with his own string of obscenities.  As soon as it happened, the 53 year-old rapper/actor/producer took to Twitter to express his rage to a wider audience.  The thing is, Ice-T really only has two speeds: sarcastic and really, really enraged.  Pulling him over on one bogus charge and another ridiculous one could have only one possible outcome, and that would be one very ticked off rap legend, who gave the officer’s name and badge number in one of his tweets.  Someone will probably be sitting at a desk for a while until the smoke clears and every gangsta fan of Ice-T (and there are many) forgets about it.

Ice-T, in case you don’t know, is considered to be the first to define “gangsta rap”.  He spent most of junior high and high school living in Crenshaw, an area of Los Angeles known for gang violence and drug trafficking.  It was there that he saw only the drug dealers and pimps making real money, and was witness to police behavior that can be gently described as “unethical”.  He was able to turn his experiences around and got into the rap game, essentially creating his own genre by bringing to light the things that were really going on in the inner cities.  The police didn’t like this.

Having now released eight solo albums and collaborated on many others—including the Body Count project—he is considered an OG, a term he created for the name of his 1991 release OG: Original Gangster.  He flaunts his wealth as he saw the pimps and drug dealers did, although his money is earned legally.  He became so famous for his love of diamonds that custom jeweler TraxNYC named a $17,000 diamond-encrusted bracelet after him.

The irony of the ongoing animosity between Ice-T and the police is that the rapper, after honing his acting skills in well-known movies like New Jack City, Ricochet, and Surviving the Game, now plays a cop on the long-running series Law & Order: SVU.  The major problem that most government organizations have with Ice-T is that he is extremely intelligent and has ‘street cred’.  He is not someone that they want to have speaking out against them.

This gives one Officer Fisher a reason to lay low for a while.  That is, if the Chief of the NYPD doesn’t bench him for good for being an idiot.

Meghan McCain, daughter of former Presidential hopeful John McCain, has penned another book.  While the content of the book, called “Dirty, Sexy Politics”, promises to bring us all of the insight and intelligence for which her family is known.  The reason it will sell, however, is because it features the blonde posed on an elephant’s head, provocatively holding its trunk in front of her.  If she had released it before the election, perhaps the Republicans could have won over the significant “horny male” demographic that was not enticed by the sex appeal of her Dad’s running mate, Sarah Palin, who has never posed provocatively with anything.

"After I do this shot, I'll tell you how I feel about Universal Health Care"

Weighing in on this latest political offering is our favorite conservative commentator, Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore, whom Meghan McCain sought out for an interview.  After confessing to a crush on the seductive Senator, Snooki revealed that “the only reason [she] voted for your father was because he was really cute and [she] liked when he did his speeches.”  It is just that sort of acumen that made Snooki a worthwhile pundit for the fledgling author’s book.  That, and her ability to wear obscenely short skirts and kiss random boys for the viewing pleasure of the many influential interest groups that tune into Jersey Shore each week.

As for the fate of Snooki’s show, it seems that almost the entire cast will be returning for a third season, still called Jersey Shore, although season two was shot in Miami.  The only person not returning will be Angelina, the girl that no one really liked anyway.  She didn’t do anything controversial or fun, and doesn’t enjoy eating pickles each morning like Snooki does.  The rest of the group held out for a while, hoping to get another raise, but now they have all signed on again and we can look forward to another drunken, fight-filled series.

In the meantime, the odd-looking Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, our favorite shirt-shy, diamond studs-wearing self-proclaimed “guido” has made the absolute most of his sudden fame.  In addition the predictably releasing an abs-centric workout video featuring him and attractive women who were clearly paid to be there, he “created” his own clothing line and (wish I was kidding) recorded a rap song called “The Situation”.  It has a sound quality that makes one think that it was the show’s own Pauly D who mixed the track in his basement while coming down from a vicious hangover.

Although all of the cast members have become recognizable figures, Snooki almost caused a breakdown in contract negotiations when she told the press that several of them were “jealous” of her because she gets more attention than most of them.  However, without a wealth of job opportunities for young people who consider getting drunk, hooking up with strangers, and going to the gym to be “work”, they all signed on for yet another season of the same.

One can only hope that Meghan McCain takes time out of her book tour to drop in on the cast during filming.  It’s not like she can do any more damage than her father already has.