Charlie Sheen Guilty, But It Won’t Affect His Career
It came as no surprise when Charlie Sheen agreed to plead guilty to one count of misdemeanor third-degree assault when opposing counsel offered to drop two other charges, including felony menacing. This all stems from the argument he had with wife Brooke Mueller last Christmas during which she claims that he threatened her with a large knife. Now he is free to continue work next week on his still-popular sitcom Two and a Half Men. There’s a great role model for the kids to be watching.
Charlie Sheen is free to menace again!
One can only assume that the agreement was drafted by an opposing attorney who was himself under the influence of something. The terms of Sheen’s release include 30 days of probation, 36 hours of anger management, and 30 days of rehab. Not only can Sheen check into his second home, Promises (into a room that by now must be known as the “Charlie Sheen Suite”), but he might not have to go at all, since the 93 days he’s spent there this year alone might be able to negate any rehab related to this particular conviction. The actor was also concerned about suffering the embarrassment of performing community service in Aspen, playground of many of his rich and famous friends. Picking up trash alongside the highway while Robert Downey, Jr. bombs by in a Porsche is just more than the comedic actor can handle.
Sheen has, evidently, already done a 36-hour anger management course, but that might not apply to this case. Brooke Mueller, who admitted to a few addictions of her own, has also done some rehab and, according to Sheen’s attorney, both have been sober for months. Months. That must come as a huge relief to Denise Richards, Sheen’s first wife and mother of two of his children. Now he’s likely to be a much better Daddy. He and Mueller, who finally stopped wearing her wedding ring in June (although that could change at any time), have reconciled several times since the Christmas Day event. According to the 43-page divorce papers that have been drafted—but not yet signed—Sheen will have ample visitation with his twins by Mueller, and neither parent will be able to talk trash about the other in front of the kids. We’ll see whether it is little Bob or young Max who first utters the phrase “money-grubbing” or “violent junkie”.
While it is, as usual, the kids who suffer the most in these situations, it is normal for the parents to suffer a little, at least. For Charlie Sheen, who is no stranger to domestic violence and drug addiction, to be able to return to work on his popular television show within a week after his conviction seems, somehow, just not quite right. But that’s Hollywood. It’s a shame that Charlie Sheen can’t seem to reinvent himself the way Robert Downey, Jr. has. But, then, it was over a year in jail that finally forced the actor to change his ways.
So far, Charlie Sheen has dodged more bullets than he ever did in Platoon.