In a list of requirements that Governor-turned-VP-Candidate-turned-joke Sarah Palin gives to a venue before a speaking engagement, she further reveals her inner Diana Ross, showing the diva-like behavior that we began to suspect during her attempted scamper to the White House.  Known as “riders”, they are what bands also give to venues, and some of their requests can range from odd to downright disgusting.  But what is an administrator to do when she is so desperate to have Sarah Palin make a speech (aside from seeking psychiatric care)?  If you want the star, you’ve gotta pay the piper. 

"I have this much of a chance to get an unscripted question right."

"I have this much of a chance to get an unscripted question right."

During the nearly-apocalyptic Presidential race, Palin bombarded us with assertions that she is just a regular Alaskan woman, a totally normal person who can see Russia from her house, and an average mom who likes to shoot animals from a helicopter.  She was the everywoman.  We were supposed to identify with her.  Granted, with a pregnant teenager at home, she had a good amount of the Appalachian vote locked, but she exhibited a few things that made us wonder is she does, indeed, put her waders on one leg at a time.

Then word leaked out that the Republican party ponied up more than $150,000 for Palin’s wardrobe and $53,000 for makeup.  Then someone made a hilarious video called “Sarah Palin’s Diamond-Encrusted G-String”.  It was not off the mark.  Now that Palin is on Sarah Does America: Tour 2010, she isn’t asking for diamonds, but she is making some telling requests in her 9-page contract. 

First, she requires two (2) round-trip first-class seats and two coach seats (for the lower 48 states).  For international travel, in addition to the two first-seats, Her Holiness needs two business-class seats. 

Any private aircraft MUST BE (that’s capitalized in the contract, too) a Lear 60 or larger for West Coast Events and a Hawker 800 or larger for East Coast events. 

A one-bedroom hotel suite and two single rooms, at a “deluxe” hotel only.  Customer agrees to pay for all charges made to the hotel by the Speaker and her entourage.  For security reasons, her Royal Palinness will be registered in the hotel under an alias.  She will let the hotel know in advance, because she certainly doesn’t want hotel staff to come up with one.

No autographs, please.

For photo-ops, a receiving-line style is mandatory.  Diagrams are provided to show the appropriate way to approach Mrs. Palin, since you most definitely don’t want to startle her.  Guests will arrive to her right and leave to her left.  The photographer must maintain a respectful distance which will best highlight what $53,000 worth of makeup looks like. 

Naturally, all questions are to be pre-approved.  No surprise questions will be allowed, and only the approved askers will be called upon to address the bear-hunter. 

Venue must provide two (2) unopened bottles of still water and bendy straws.  Really.  It says that in the contract, only it calls them “bendable straws”.  Only a representative of the Washington Speakers Bureau or The Entourage is permitted to open the bottles of water.

We all get why.

And then there’s a whole thing about confidentiality.

Granted, she didn’t ask for all of the brown M&Ms to be picked out of a candy dish no more than ¾ full of the delightful chocolate treats, but still.  I just want to know who pays her to speak when most of us would gladly pay her not to.

Permalink Leave your comment