A Coupla Morons Got Married-Shayne + Nik
Nothing quite says “I love you” like a Sunday night wedding at a Las Vegas chapel where the guests can’t keep themselves from laughing. It was a week ago that Shayne Lamas, winner of the 12th season of The Bachelor, and Nik Richie, master of the misogynist website “The Dirty”, exchanged vows at the Little White Wedding Chapel. Although they had known each other for less time than it takes milk to curdle, Shayne wore white and was all giddy, repeating “I’m a bride, I’m a bride,” for the cameras. Ever the gentleman, Nik (real name: Hooman Karamian) did buy a $130,000 5-carat diamond engagement ring for his slow-witted spouse. In this case, however, the engagement ring came after the wedding. That can happen when you marry someone you’ve known for either one day or one week, depending on who you ask.
Makin' Her Papa Proud.
Shayne Lamas was first known as the spawn of the long-haired, wife-beater-wearing former sex symbol Lorenzo Lamas. He was known for being an 80s icon, appearing on Falcon Crest and then starring in his own show, Renegade, in which he played a fugitive who managed to avoid getting caught while he “roamed the badlands” on a loud, flame-painted Harley and worked as a bounty hunter for a Native American fella with the rockin’est mullet EVER and a taste for pimp-style suits. So that’s one half of her heritage.
Then Shayne became a contestant on season 12 of The Bachelor, the one in London, where women competed for the love of a desperate British man. In the end, Matt Grant chose Shayne to be his future wife. They were interviewed shortly after the finale aired. Shayne appeared to be blissfully in love with her engagement ring. The couple split up a few months later. Was it the distance? After all, she lives in LA and he in London. Was it a difference in values? Or maybe Matt finally saw a rerun of Renegade and considered the cheese factor in the gene pool.
But it was none of those things. The real issue became abundantly clear when E! began airing Leave It to Lamas, a reality TV show a la Keeping Up with the Kardashians, only with—believe it or not—more complaining. Leave It to Lamas capitalizes on the still-famous surname, although Lorenzo himself does not appear in every episode. Shayne does, though. As does her brother AJ, who has some difficulties living up to the tremendous legacy of his father, who was trying in one episode to pass out autographed photos of himself by saying his own name and mentioning the show Renegade. And then there’s Shayne’s mother, Michele Smith, who appears to be intoxicated every time she’s on camera. The true star of the show is the incessant whining of young Shayne. Even while wearing stripper heels and drag queen-style makeup, she speaks in the voice of a very dissatisfied 5 year-old. Perhaps the voice is a nod to the Kardashian girls and Paris Hilton, who also speak like children.
But what would make a girl run off to Vegas with some guy that she knows her family will hate? What would cause a daddy’s girl like little Shayne to marry a man whose life’s work is to make fun of women? Well, I’m no psychologist or anything, but could it have to do with the recent announcement that 52 year-old Lorenzo is marrying someone 2 years younger than his daughter after a lengthy 3-month courtship?
Shayne Dahl Lamas married Hooman Karamian in a charming Vegas wedding chapel. I wonder if she knows his real name.