Were The Porn Stars All Busy, Jesse James?
Good girls who love bad boys celebrated when Sandra Bullock and Jesse James first hooked up. And stayed around for more than a quick shower and complimentary breakfast. The twice-before married James enjoyed a second marriage with porn star Janine Lindemulder, who was known by non-college-boys as the naughty nurse from a Blink-182 video. But after Sandy met Jesse, sparks flew, and, despite not having any idea where those fingers had been, the actress was proud to slip a wedding ring on him in July 2005. They were in love. It was bliss. She considered his tattoos ‘reading material’ when she couldn’t sleep.
You can dress him up, but you can't leave him alone for five minutes.
And now, we sadly learn (with absolutely no shock whatsoever) that, while Bullock was off shooting the Oscar-nominated The Blind Side, her husband was hooking up with (I kid you not) a tattoo model called Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. Michelle claims that she was under the impression that the couple had split, because she would never hook up with a married guy. Uh-huh. She claims that they texted each other several times a day and met up at least twice a week during Bullock’s absence.
Sandy left the home she shares with James on Monday, and has decided not to attend the London premiere of The Blind Side. She is, of course, distraught. But can she be surprised? Did she believe that this leopard could change his tattooed spots? I suppose, after she read that McGee called him the “Vanilla Gorilla” (use your imagination), she knew that the model had truly gotten a tour of his, ahem, Monster Garage. McGee also dropped the details that James prefers to ‘go commando’ and enjoys unprotected relations.
And good girls everywhere collectively wept. How we want to believe that a bad boy can be a good husband. We operate under the happy delusion that he only needs to find the right woman to settle down. For the third time.
When James accompanied his wife to the Oscars, fashion commentators were saying that he “cleaned up well”, and he did, in fact, look ecstatically happy to be with his wife. When she won the Oscar for Best Actress, she thanked him in her speech. But, alas, so did Reese Witherspoon, Halle Berry, and Hilary Swank. Their marriages all ended shortly thereafter.
The only person who is coming out on top, so to speak, is McGee, whose name is now known outside of the tattoo model enthusiast inner circle. She was interviewed by In Touch magazine. He name is in all the tabloids. Sleeping with famous guys has a way of doing that. Sleeping with the husband of an Oscar winner, well, that’s more priceless than a Monster Garage full of diamonds.
Maybe the allegations will prove false. Maybe the “Vanilla Gorilla” didn’t really do it. But it seems that the name of his show Jesse James Is A Dead Man has proven prophetic.
Don’t mess with the good girls. We stick together.