Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Everyone is talking about Johnny Depp’s performance in Alice in Wonderland, as the movie is out now—in 3-D, no less—and he takes the role of Mad Hatter to a maniacal level.  Never mind that he looks alarmingly like his version of Willie Wonka, who looked alarmingly like Michael Jackson (the later years); he’s still Johnny Depp, and still doing a great job.  He’s clearly billed as the star of the film, but Helena Bonham Carter, who is always cast in Tim Burton movies (regardless of talent) because she’s married to him, pretty much steals the show as the Red Queen.  We’ll try to forgive her singing in Sweeney Todd after this performance.  But the Alice portrayed by Mia Wasikowska is what truly separates this version from the original.  This Alice, for starters, isn’t a young child.  She is, in fact, a young adult with a strong mind.

"I must have left my 'Girl Power' t-shirt at home, luv."

Leave it to Tim Burton to create a female character worth looking up to.  In the movie, Alice very publicly turns down an engagement ring from the son of her late father’s business partner, choosing instead to follow a white rabbit down into his hole, commencing on her own individual adventure.  Without a husband, even!  And she manages to fight the Jabberwocky and end the reign of the Red Queen—without a man!  Whether or not Tim Burton set out to create a feminist art piece, that’s what happened.  But it has the requisite amount of creepy-looking characters and borderline-disturbing cinematography to make it a signature Burton film.

And then there’s the new Pirates of the Caribbean coming out.  Having already cast Penelope Cruz as Captain Jack Sparrow’s love interest (and the daughter of his nemesis, Blackbeard), Disney released an unusual ad in its quest for other female characters.  According to the New York Post, the notice reads (in part): “Must have lean dancer body.  Must have real breasts.  Do not submit if you have implants.”

Do they expect anyone applying for extra work in Hollywood to fit these specifications?  I don’t think there are any actress-wanna-be types that haven’t had surgical enhancement of the chestal region.  According to the same article in post, Disney casting directors intend to ask actresses to run in place.  If there is breast movement, they pass the test.  Is this backlash from having Keira Knightley in the previous three films?  She is notoriously flat-chested.  Maybe Disney is keeping in that theme, although they are not keeping the actress.   Jack Sparrow would be horrified.  He likes big ones.

Neither Knightley nor the ever-irritating Orlando Bloom will appear in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  Both actors have said that they feel their characters have “run their course”.  Odds are, with Depp pulling in an estimated $40 million to star in the 4th installment of the mega-franchise, producers simply didn’t want to pay anyone else big-star money for their roles.  Since Cruz’s character is somewhat less prominent, she won’t be pulling in a Knightley-sized salary.  The movie is slated for release in May 2011.

The fact is, they can cast pretty much anyone to do anything in the Pirates movies.  We go to see Johnny Depp as Captain Jack.  Everything else is just details.  Ian McShane will play Blackbeard, and Geoffrey Rush will return as Barbossa.  Blah Blah Blah Johnny Depp  Blah Blah Jack Sparrow.

It is doubtful Johnny Depp intended to be the spokesperson for female empowerment and non-silicone-enhanced actors.  He stumbles into these things.  That’s how he ends up on the cover of People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive issue, like, every year.