What exactly does it say about us as a country when the most level-headed political pundit was once known for wearing pink spandex pants and carrying feather boas (without living in West Hollywood, the Meatpacking district, or anywhere in San Francisco)? What does it say that the same man later wrote a book called I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed? Do we want either of those stereotypes speaking in the political arena, and, if we do, do we really expect any level of eloquence or common sense?
"Ladies and Gentleman, your new moral compass!"
And yet, when a discussion of politics comes up, the voice of reason generally seems to be former-WWE wrestler, former-Governor, former-action-film-star Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Certainly, this has to be some kind of sign of the apocalypse. The tobacco-chewing, cowboy-hat-wearing Blain Cooper from the movie Predator (starring later-political sparring partner Arnold Schwarzenegger) is an intelligent, well-read, well-spoken author of five (5) books. For real. A man that we so want to fit into a well-defined cliché is not only smart, but has been wearing the wedding ring from the same woman since 1975, and has had no infidelity scandals. He did admit to using anabolic steroids, but in the world of professional athletics—let’s be honest here—those things are more common than big egos, or crabs.
Now “The Body” is hawking his latest book, American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us. Okay, so the title is awfully reminiscent of fellow-Minnesotan Al Franken’s Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, but the guy makes some pretty good points. A lot of his perspective came not from the time he served as Governor, but from living half of the year in Mexico and getting all of his information by reading. This does not sit well with Larry King. As entertaining a guest as the opinionated Ventura is, and as intimidating as it can be for the justhisclose-to-his-next-heart-attack host to confront a 6’4”, 245 lb. former pro wrestler, King became irritated by Ventura when he said, “You give me a waterboard, Dick Cheney, and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders”.
Okay, how do you not love this guy?
Granted, he did host a show on TruTV called Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura. He likes the conspiracy theories. On his current book tour, he is getting raked over the coals over his belief that “The Bush Administration either knew about the plan and allowed it to proceed, or they had a hand in it themselves”. It’s far from the first time that idea has been proposed, but when it comes out of the imposing mouth of “The Governing Body”, it makes more of an impression.
Whether or not we agree with everything he has to say, he proves again and again that, on most subjects, that he is the only arbiter of common sense in the media.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, expect the locusts anytime now. One of our most reliable sources of reason once had the primary goal of putting Hulk Hogan in a half-nelson.