Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Our beloved scandal-ridden, sex-tape-making, nude-photo-posing, same-sex-marriage-hating, lawsuit-filing, out-of-court-settling ex-Miss California has found herself an appropriate opposite-sex mate.  The 22-year-old Carrie Prejean began dating 28-year-old St. Louis Ram Kyle Boller last July, in the middle of the controversy that made us aware of who she is.  Despite—and possibly because of—her fortuitously-discovered sex tapes and topless photos—the conservative Quarterback was interested in the Aryan poster-child.  And now, after only 7 months of dating, it seems that Kyle has given Carrie an engagement ring.

A Man and a Woman Intend to Marry Each Other.

Having taken time out of her busy bigotry-spreading and book-selling schedule, Prejean has fallen in love.  And just to clarify: she is engaged to a man, a member of the opposite sex, someone with different anatomy.  We don’t want to forget, any more than we want to forget her visit with Larry King in November, in which she refused to discuss anything relating to the controversy of which she had been a part.  She wanted to talk about her book, why Sarah Palin is her hero, how the liberal media persecute conservative women, her book, and her book.  Evidently, the former beauty queen didn’t realize what the show is about, and was unprepared to field any questions unless the answers could begin with, “In my book, Still Standing, I talk about…”.  

She also refused to take calls.  When a caller from Detroit, a gay man who loves pageants (imagine such a thing!), asked Prejean if she had any recommendations for his wedding.  She took off her microphone and threatened to walk off.  She had, after all, already told Larry King several times that he was “being very inappropriate” for asking why she settled her lawsuit against the Miss America Pageant.  How dare he ask questions in an, um, interview?

In her favor, Prejean, having been well-trained by undoubtedly some of the finest pageant coaches in the world (most of whom are men who date other men), didn’t lose her cool.  She kept smiling and saying, “Larry, you’re being very inappropriate”, and explaining, after putting her microphone back on, that her publicist had arranged it so she wouldn’t have to take any called-in questions. 

Despite all of her difficulties, Kyle has stood by Carrie, and now plans to make her his bride.  They got engaged in Prejean’s hometown of San Diego, where Boller owns a home and spends time during the off-season.  Our best of luck to the couple, who will probably get married in “her country” where everyone thinks just like her—or not at all.

Miami, FL – Everyone in the country is gearing up for tonight and Super Bowl XLIV.  It’s the biggest of the biggest football games, the clash of the titans (sit down, Tennessee, we ain’t talking about you), the World Championship game.  It is about the best of the best playing against each other for the title.  New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts.  Drew Brees against Peyton Manning.  Some are calling this the greatest matchup ever.

One of Them Is Playing in the Super Bowl Today. The Other, Everyone Will Be Watching.

But that’s not what is getting press.  Sure, some sportswriters are focusing on the actual game, the talent of the teams, the matchup overall.  But most of the headlines, blog posts, articles, and water-cooler chat are revolving around something else.

The generous tuchis of Kim Kardashian.  Yeah, it’s Super Bowl Sunday.  The beers are chilling, the potato chips and cold cut platters have been picked up, and the two best football teams in the country are getting ready to play each other.  But what we want to know is: what will Kim Kardashian be wearing?

Sadly, it wasn’t hard to find the answer to that question.  Kim is superstitious, so she won’t be wearing a Saints jersey.  Perhaps she learned her lesson watching Jessica Simpson go from ‘good luck charm’ to ‘large-chested distraction’ after wearing her cute pink “Romo” jersey to just one Cowboys game.  Kim will be wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and boots, and will go with the Saints’ black-and-gold theme, but will not have the name “Bush” across her back.  If the rumors are true, she’ll also be wearing an engagement ring if the Saints win the Super Bowl. 

Vacuous former Playboy playmate Kendra Wilkinson already married herself an NFL player, and is looking forward to running out on the field if the Colts win the game.  Of course, she probably shouldn’t move too fast, as she doesn’t want to actually beat her second-string husband into any celebration.   Her child with back-up Cornerback Hank Baskett, Hank, Jr. will be wearing a little “Baskett” jersey, and Kendra will be in a custom Colts jersey that says “Mrs. Baskett”.  Ick. 

So we can keep up with the Kardashians and watch Kendra all in one sitting.  It’s not about two athletic teams: it’s a competition of Reality Show Famous-for-No-Reason Celebrities.  That’s not even taking into consideration that Brad Pitt and little Maddox left New Orleans for Miami yesterday to root on their Saints.  This is a Super Bowl that is already star-studded, and everyone is talking about it.

With all the world craning their necks toward the skyboxes to see how tight Kim’s jeans are or to find Brad and Maddox, one wonders if anyone will be paying attention to the action on the field.  It should be a great game.  Too bad almost no one will see it.

In an interesting twist, it seems that young Jesus Luz initiated the breakup with older-than-his-mom lady love Madonna.  We all assumed that he would ride the Madonna fame train for as long as he could, and she would continue to drink from his fountain of youth at least until he turned 25.  But no.  Jesus was ready to move on.  He’s already booking modeling jobs and has made a name for himself by being attractive.  Dating Madonna got him in the door, certainly, and now that he’s there, he’s ready to troll for some fresh meat himself.

The Price of Fame.

It’s not like we ever thought they’d get married.  First, Madonna has said that she’s rather get hit by a train than wed again.  Second, she would have to buy herself a suitable engagement ring, since Jesus still isn’t making the necessary bank to appropriately adorn the ever-aging finger of Madge.

Madonna must have flipped out when she was dumped by a guy she made famous.  She has a history of liking to control things.  But it seems that she couldn’t keep her claws in some 28 years younger.  Those young ‘uns got speed.  It has been reported that Jesus split from Madonna because of their busy work schedules.  His is only busy because Madonna took him from roaming the streets of Rio to walking the catwalks of New York, Milan, and Paris.  There were also indications that he had some difficulty with the age difference.  Sources said that he couldn’t imagine a long-term relationship with her.  Small wonder.  When he’s 30, she’ll be 58.  When he’s ready to settle down and have kids, she’ll be collecting her AARP benefits and social security checks.

Madonna, of course, also “leaked” a statement through a friend that she was growing weary of the relationship, that they had run out of things to talk about, that they had nothing in common but Kabbalah.  Um, duh.  Did they have anything to talk about in the beginning?  Their relationship seemed to primarily consist of:

“Hi, you’re hot and young.”

“Hi, you’re rich and famous.”

What then?  A long discussion about his ever-growing prowess at Guitar Hero?  An in-depth conversation about her painfully rigid diet and exercise regime?

They lasted a year.  So Madonna and Jesus did perform a miracle. 

Now Jesus can begin dating supermodels and Madonna can get back on her treadmill, and life will return to normal, without all the Jesus humor.  Now that’s sad.

Jim Carrey, the actor primarily known for facial contortions and odd behavior, has become “Sir Jim Carrey”.  Actually, since it’s France, the official title is ‘Chevalier’.  Nonetheless, he shares a title with other honorary knights like Sean Connery, Edward R. Murrow, Michael Gambon, Alec Guinness, Stephen Hawking, and George Mitchell.  Of course, those knights are in England.  Order of the British Empire.  Very much a big deal.  Carrey was given his title in France, the country that practically deifies Jerry Lewis.  So maybe it’s not quite the same thing.  He was knighted at the same time as Ewan McGregor, his co-star in I Love You Phillip Morris, a film about a con man who falls in love with his prison cellmate.  The pair celebrated their award with a kiss.

Chevalier Jim Carrey, The Most Honorable Knight in France.

This is not to say that Jim Carrey is now batting for the other team (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  He and Jenny McCarthy, who have been dating for almost five years but show no signs of getting married, will be hosting the fourth annual Saturday Night Spectacular, a very upscale pre-Super Bowl party, on February 6.  Maybe since Reggie Bush said he would marry Kim Kardashian if the Saints win the Super Bowl, Carrey and McCarthy will be inspired to exchange wedding rings.  Or not.  That’s not what anyone is talking about, anyway.

The fact is that Jim Carrey was knighted by someone who has the power to do that sort of thing.  It’s a big leap from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective to “Sir Carrey of Canada”.  French Culture Minister Frederic Mitterand, on presenting Carrey and McGregor with their honors, was heard to say, “I love you, Jim Carrey!  I love you, Ewan McGregor!”  Evidently, the French, in general, feel the same way.  Need I remind you again of Jerry Lewis?

In a way, it is very forward-thinking and bold that France would honor the pair as they wrap filming a movie in which two men fall in love.  Based on a true story, Carrey plays Steven Jay Russell, who meets his soulmate, Phillip Morris, while in prison.  In the film, which casts Carrey as a traditional romantic lead with a few twists, Russell comes up with elaborate plans for escape so he and his love can be together, and free.  Despite the movie being about men falling in love with each other, Carrey has said that he doesn’t “think it’s a gay movie”. 

Um, yeah it is.  There doesn’t have to be leather involved for it to be a “gay movie”.

It is a love story, it is “about the lengths we go to for acceptance or love” (according to Carrey himself), but it’s about two dudes who go to those great lengths.  Own it, Jim.  It’s okay.  We don’t like you any less for it, for heaven’s sake.

PLUS, the French just knighted you.  You and Ewan join George Clooney, Jude Law, Clint Eastwood, Roger Moore, and Vanessa Paradis (no Johnny Depp??)  Enjoy it, and stop dwelling on whether or not Jenny thinks less of you.  She stuck with you through The Yes Man.  She can certainly handle you kissing a guy.

Chevalier Jim Carrey.  Do I hear the thundering sound of the Four Horsemen?

Prince Harry, the beautiful ginger-haired Prince of Wales, arrived in the Caribbean to raise money for the Sentebale Foundation, a charity created by him to help the children of Lesotho, one of the poorest nations in the world.  He wanted to go to Haiti as well, but he was somehow convinced that it was a tremendous security risk.  How a trip to the earthquake-stricken, nearly-leveled island nation poses more of threat than sending the tall red-headed, pale-skinned Brit to war-torn Afghanistan is a mystery, but Harry agreed so he could get on with the fund-raising.

I'd donate to his charity, any day.

During the first annual Sentebale Polo Cup, Harry took a nasty spill, but turned it into an athletic-looking somersault and didn’t get injured.  In 2001, his Prince Charles was hurt while playing polo, getting thrown off a horse, knocking him unconscious, and he somehow swallowed his tongue.   Only the British get debilitating polo injuries.  Like father, not so much like son.

After the fall, Harry appeared to throw a truly royal hissy fit, throwing his mallet to the ground and ripping off his helmet.  He later explained that he wasn’t behaving like a spoiled child—something most of us expect from really rich people who suffer any sort of embarrassment—but he was upset at himself for the charity.  The previous night, Harry had met a businessman who offered to donate $50,000 if he fell off his horse during the match.  The man’s wife, according to Harry, “turned round and said ‘that’s a bit harsh, you should give him $100,000 of he stays on.’  And he agreed to seal the deal on that”.  Our beloved hot Prince was “furious” with himself because he felt that he ‘lost’ $50,000 for his foundation.  The businessman donated the full $100,000 anyway.  Beyond that, the match was an immediate sell-out, and Harry hopes to make it an annual event.

Since he was there, His Royal Ginginess took part in a huge charity concert broadcast live across the Caribbean to raise money for relief in Haiti.  While Barbados’ reigning Calypso King, Red Plastic Bag, performed for the enormous crowd, the third in line to the British throne made the Barbadians an offer they couldn’t refuse.  He said that he would dance on stage in front of millions of viewers if they donated 5,000 Barbados dollars (about $2484) within 25 minutes. 

They did.

And he honored his promise.  Red’s got rhythm!  Afterwards, however, he was heard to say, “There goes my credibility” (au contraire, Ginge), even as he himself made a donation—the amount of which he would not disclose—to the Haiti relief effort.  Red’s got a soul!

The Prince also visited a hospital, endearing himself to the children there.  He introduced himself to the children, shaking their little hands.  He held babies.  He talked to the nurses and volunteers.  Then, one little girl in a crib who was unable to get up craned her neck to the side and shouted “It’s Harry!  It’s Harry!”

I would probably have the same reaction.

He instantly went from ‘cute’ to ‘more adorable than a roomful of kittens’.

Of course, this brought about comparison to his mother.  Harry and Prince Seeiso of Lesotho—who joined Harry onstage to dance—created Sentebale in memory of the late Princess Diana.  When asked by a reporter about continuing his mother’s charitable work, he said, “I don’t know if I can follow in her footsteps…but I will always try to achieve what she achieved”.

Thankfully, rumored girlfriend Chelsy Davy was not with him.  Hopefully, all of those engagement ring and royal wedding rumors are just that.  I’ll be waiting for his call.

There’s not much that hasn’t already been said about Lady Gaga’s fashion choices at last night’s 52nd Annual Grammy Awards.  It isn’t that we didn’t expect it, really.  She has chosen to look odd ever since getting attention for her album “The Fame”, changing hair colors and wearing bubbles and feathers and Things That Do Not Look Like Clothes.  But her music has certainly become popular.

I think it's the mace-like hand accessory that makes the outfit.

Admittedly, my own knowledge of the music of Lady Gaga is limited to Christopher Walken’s ingenious reading of “Poker Face” on BBC 1’s Friday Night with Jonathan Ross last October.  Somehow, I was able to listen to that, while I have not yet been able to make it through even one full song of hers yet.  I’m working on it.

Last night’s performance with Elton John was, apparently, a mash-up of her own song “Speechless” and John’s classic “Your Song”.  It was very nice.  And a style match made in heaven.  If Elton John was a woman, he would probably dress like Lady Gaga.  Or he would have, like 20 years ago.  Maybe 30. 

Lady Gaga showed up at the Grammy Awards last night wearing yet another inexplicable dress, inexplicably designed just for her by Giorgio Armani.  It was sort of pink and glittery and very rigidly molded.  It had sort of Saturn-like rings all around it, also pink, and also glittery.  There was not a real hemline.  It was more like the bottom of a sculpture.  From the front, it revealed, well, pretty much everything.  Underneath the ‘dress’ was a bottom-of-the-platform-shoes to top-of-the-head (including hair!) bodysuit that looked as though it was encrusted with diamonds.  Fortunately, the bodysuit included bejeweled panties that covered up all of the Lady’s naughty bits.  Close-ups of Lady Gaga’s face reveal that she was not wearing a wig.  It was hair attached to a head-covering bodysuit.  It was almost medieval armor-ish.  Only with long, yellow, feathered hair attached. 

For her performance with Elton John, she changed into another glittery get-up, this time an aqua bodysuit with high-cut legs.  She was also sporting hot pink sequined triangles around her eyes.  From a distance, it looked like makeup.  But after she performed part of “Poker Face” and was ceremonially dumped into a machine marked “rejected”, she emerged covered in soot and her pink triangles were gone.  Seems like performing with Elton John would be the ideal time to don the famous pink triangle, but what do I know?  Anyway, the duet was lovely, with both of them playing piano and singing beautifully.  It was almost possible to look past the shoulders of Gaga’s bodysuit, which extended both vertically and horizontally, giving her an appearance of sequined, aquamarine wings folded at her sides.  And not in a good way.

It was when she took her seat that her red carpet gown and performance attire were both completely eclipsed, as was the view of everyone sitting behind her for at least 3 or 4 rows.  She wore what seemed to be the same bodysuit that was underneath her Armani creation, but wore a silver jacket with fiery, lightning bolt-like thingies sticking up from the shoulders and out from her elbows.  There was a hat to match.  That hat was probably what might be called ‘architectural’.  It sort of mirrored the lightning bolt motif, but was a bit more ‘Crown of the Ice Queen”.  And it was very, very tall.  Photos show a musician seated behind her looking up at it, probably wondering how he was going to see any of the show at all.  Gaga herself was watching the show through pink triangles again, but this time they were a bit more subdued.  They failed to glimmer quite the way her performance hot pink eye triangles did.

What can be said about Lady Gaga that hasn’t already been said?  Maybe one of these days I’ll be able to look past all of it and listen to her music.  People have likened Lady Gaga’s performance style to that of Freddie Mercury, but I disagree.  Lady Gaga is way gayer.