Madonna Loses Her Baby Jesus
In an interesting twist, it seems that young Jesus Luz initiated the breakup with older-than-his-mom lady love Madonna. We all assumed that he would ride the Madonna fame train for as long as he could, and she would continue to drink from his fountain of youth at least until he turned 25. But no. Jesus was ready to move on. He’s already booking modeling jobs and has made a name for himself by being attractive. Dating Madonna got him in the door, certainly, and now that he’s there, he’s ready to troll for some fresh meat himself.
The Price of Fame.
It’s not like we ever thought they’d get married. First, Madonna has said that she’s rather get hit by a train than wed again. Second, she would have to buy herself a suitable engagement ring, since Jesus still isn’t making the necessary bank to appropriately adorn the ever-aging finger of Madge.
Madonna must have flipped out when she was dumped by a guy she made famous. She has a history of liking to control things. But it seems that she couldn’t keep her claws in some 28 years younger. Those young ‘uns got speed. It has been reported that Jesus split from Madonna because of their busy work schedules. His is only busy because Madonna took him from roaming the streets of Rio to walking the catwalks of New York, Milan, and Paris. There were also indications that he had some difficulty with the age difference. Sources said that he couldn’t imagine a long-term relationship with her. Small wonder. When he’s 30, she’ll be 58. When he’s ready to settle down and have kids, she’ll be collecting her AARP benefits and social security checks.
Madonna, of course, also “leaked” a statement through a friend that she was growing weary of the relationship, that they had run out of things to talk about, that they had nothing in common but Kabbalah. Um, duh. Did they have anything to talk about in the beginning? Their relationship seemed to primarily consist of:
“Hi, you’re hot and young.”
“Hi, you’re rich and famous.”
What then? A long discussion about his ever-growing prowess at Guitar Hero? An in-depth conversation about her painfully rigid diet and exercise regime?
They lasted a year. So Madonna and Jesus did perform a miracle.
Now Jesus can begin dating supermodels and Madonna can get back on her treadmill, and life will return to normal, without all the Jesus humor. Now that’s sad.