Although this season promises less controversy than ever—with no Dustin Diamond having massive tantrums, no Guy-From-Eight-Is-Enough melting down, no drug-addled outbursts from Jeff Conaway—it is still going to be an entertaining as ever. Yet another group of the formerly famous has eaten its way to the next step in their waning careers: reality television. With Drill Sergeant Harvey Walden IV screaming them into submission, they will huff and puff their way to eventual weight loss (they hope). The comedy began to unfold in the first episode, which aired last night, when Bobby Brown declared of their stark living arrangements, “It’s easy compared to being in jail”.
I thought people worked out in jail...
Tears come out as Shar Jackson realizes that she still has some unresolved issues with her babydaddy and co-star Jevin Federline. Evidently, she still remains some amount of surprise that the former backup dancer left her pregnant behind to slip a wedding ring on Britney Spears’ golden finger. Hopefully, she is able to derive some satisfaction from K-Fed’s admission that he went into a depression after his split from the pop star and ate his way to 232 pounds. On his first weigh-in, he admits, “I look like a pregnant man right now”. And this is a guy who knows what pregnancy looks like. He seems to cause it wherever he goes—at least he did before he gained all those excess kilos.
Also on the show is former Baywatch star Nicole Eggert, who wears a revealing one-piece bathing suit on the show. What she reveals is considerably more than was there a few years back. Sebastian Bach, the once-bad boy lead singer of Skid Row who was reduced to a bit part on chick-drama Gilmore Girls, warns that people have tried to tell him what to do before, and that it never works out. Alas, he no longer has the youthful angst or energy to back up his claims, and continues to do as Harvey tells him without incident. Rounding out the cast (so to speak) are KayCee Stroh of High School Musical, who is just a sweet girl; Tanisha Thomas of The Bad Girls’ Club who cries and tries to go toe-to-toe with Harvey and threatens to quit a lot; and Jay McCarroll, the winner of Project Runway’s first season. He actually appears to be there to work hard, and provides a little comic relief along the way. He was funny on Project Runway, too.
Sure, Celebrity Fit Club, like all other reality TV, derives most of its success from the viewers’ desire to see trainwrecks-in-progress. People will still watch, however, to feel better about themselves because formerly-thin, formerly-rich celebrities let themselves go. It’s a charming world. Tune in on Mondays.