Our beloved scandal-ridden, sex-tape-making, nude-photo-posing, same-sex-marriage-hating, lawsuit-filing, out-of-court-settling ex-Miss California has found herself an appropriate opposite-sex mate. The 22-year-old Carrie Prejean began dating 28-year-old St. Louis Ram Kyle Boller last July, in the middle of the controversy that made us aware of who she is. Despite—and possibly because of—her fortuitously-discovered sex tapes and topless photos—the conservative Quarterback was interested in the Aryan poster-child. And now, after only 7 months of dating, it seems that Kyle has given Carrie an engagement ring.
A Man and a Woman Intend to Marry Each Other.
Having taken time out of her busy bigotry-spreading and book-selling schedule, Prejean has fallen in love. And just to clarify: she is engaged to a man, a member of the opposite sex, someone with different anatomy. We don’t want to forget, any more than we want to forget her visit with Larry King in November, in which she refused to discuss anything relating to the controversy of which she had been a part. She wanted to talk about her book, why Sarah Palin is her hero, how the liberal media persecute conservative women, her book, and her book. Evidently, the former beauty queen didn’t realize what the show is about, and was unprepared to field any questions unless the answers could begin with, “In my book, Still Standing, I talk about…”.
She also refused to take calls. When a caller from Detroit, a gay man who loves pageants (imagine such a thing!), asked Prejean if she had any recommendations for his wedding. She took off her microphone and threatened to walk off. She had, after all, already told Larry King several times that he was “being very inappropriate” for asking why she settled her lawsuit against the Miss America Pageant. How dare he ask questions in an, um, interview?
In her favor, Prejean, having been well-trained by undoubtedly some of the finest pageant coaches in the world (most of whom are men who date other men), didn’t lose her cool. She kept smiling and saying, “Larry, you’re being very inappropriate”, and explaining, after putting her microphone back on, that her publicist had arranged it so she wouldn’t have to take any called-in questions.
Despite all of her difficulties, Kyle has stood by Carrie, and now plans to make her his bride. They got engaged in Prejean’s hometown of San Diego, where Boller owns a home and spends time during the off-season. Our best of luck to the couple, who will probably get married in “her country” where everyone thinks just like her—or not at all.