Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Following in the ultra-romantic footsteps of Johnathon Schaech (he used to be married to Christina Applegate, was in a movie a long time ago with then-unknown Liv Tyler) and mimicking the most popular way to show love (on reality television shows), Backstreet Boy AJ McLean decided on the most impossibly idyllic setting to profess his everlasting affection to girlfriend Rochelle Karidis: on a stage.  In Las Vegas.  It’s what every part-time tattoo model wants.  To celebrate his 32nd birthday, McLean ran into Rocks, an upscale jewelry store within the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.  He told friends that he went in to buy a bracelet for his lady love, but came out with one of Rocks’ finest engagement rings. 

Only A Man Like This Could Out-Romance Britney's Vegas Nuptials!

The former boy-bander was in town with Rochelle and friends not only for his birthday, but to have their pictures taken with numerous attendees of the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo.  Hard Rock nightclub Wasted Space was, in fact, hosting a party for the lascivious website “Naughty America”, one of the nation’s finest adult entertainment cyber-experiences.  A DJ was spinning tunes and everyone was partying, although there is no word on whether McLean—whose very public battle with drugs, alcohol, and depression—was drinking.  On the night of January 8, the venue was packed with an interesting cast of conventioneers and the friends of AJ McLean. 

And even though the singer was not actually performing, he asked the DJ to turn off the music at midnight, where he jumped onto the stage and asked Rochelle to join him.  He got down on one knee and everything, just like every little girl dreams of (minus the delegates from the porn convention, possibly).  Rochelle seemed a little confused and squatted down, not understanding that he was gettin’ his romance on.  And there, in front of some of erotica’s finest, AJ McLean asked Rochelle Deanna Karidis to be his wife.  She said yes and he took the ring out of his jeans pocket, presenting it to her in one of Las Vegas’ most dignified dance club settings.  All that was missing was the horse-drawn carriage.

For the occasion, AJ wore his finest ripped jeans, black Chuck Taylor low-tops, and his signature wallet-chain.  He also had a fresh coat of black nail polish painted on, although his eyeliner appeared to be from the night before.  Nonetheless, he was dressed to impress.  What woman could possibly say no?

The newly-betrothed couple eventually retired to the Hard Rock Hotel’s Tower Spa Suite.  They have not yet set a date for their wedding, but we can be sure it will be a storybook event.

Beyonce proved this New Year’s that she is either completely unaware of politics or that she can be bought for the right price.  The woman who performed at President Obama’s Inaugural Ball somehow decided it would be nice to perform for the youngest son of notorious Libyan bad guy Moammar Gaddafi to help him ring it the New Year.  Decked out in her traditional low-cut, leg-baring attire and diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, the famous songstress performed five songs at Hannibal (not kidding) Gaddafi’s St. Bart’s Annual New Year’s Bash.  Had she been performing in a more conservative, Middle Eastern country, she would have been required to cover herself.  But Hannibal knows better than to try and cover up the woman who considers herself “bootylicious”.

This Once-Admired Songstress...

What would make a person perform for someone like Hannibal Gaddafi?  Forgetting for a split second that he is the son of one of the world’s most reviled terrorist leaders (although Dad has made small efforts to make nice with the West), it seems that Hannibal himself is really not a very nice person.  On Christmas Day, 7 days before Beyonce’s performance, Hannibal beat his wife so violently that she suffered a broken nose and tremendous facial bleeding.  He was not prosecuted because of the ever-disgusting “Diplomatic Immunity” laws.  Charming.  Prior to that, he and his lovely wife were caught beating their servants in Switzerland.  Papa Moammar defended his son’s honor (and I use that term loosely) by arresting all Swiss nationals in Libya and closing all Swiss-owned businesses.  It worked.  Hannibal got off again.  He’s also driven drunk on the wrong side of the street, fought with police, and generally behaved like a spoiled child.  A spoiled 33-year-old child.  And Diplomatic Immunity has been his ever-present “get out of jail free” card.

...Performed For This Wife-Beating Criminal. Happy New Year!

Nonetheless, our Beyonce proved that she will sing for anyone if the price is right.  But it’s not like she needs the money.  She’s made millions upon millions herself, and husband Jay-Z is a giant in recording and producing music, and is part-owner of the popular 40/40 Club and New Jersey Nets.  He also has a clothing line (who doesn’t?).  With a net worth of over $150 million, it seems that his wife doesn’t need to perform for criminals to make ends meet.

But perform she did.  Her price appears to be $2 million.  In attendance at this vile $12,000/table display were stars like Russell Simmons, Jon Bon Jovi, Lindsay Lohan, Miranda Kerr and, of course, her hubby.  Those Gaddafis can certainly bring in the star power.

Again, how can the woman who tearfully sang the Etta James classic “At Last” for Michelle and Barack Obama’s first dance as President and First Lady justify performing at that particular event.  There were surely other offers on the table.

But then, being married to someone who recorded the track “Money, Cash, Hoes” doesn’t really have that much to live up to, I guess.

Who of us has not, while in the throes of some major illness, found ourselves watching reruns of Celebrity Apprentice?  For those of you who haven’t watched, it is another Donald Trump reality show, but instead of having regular uptight fame-seeking people compete for a “Dream Job” with The Donald, it pits “celebrities”, most of whom we haven’t heard of or though were dead, against each other to raise money for their favorite charities.  Last season, Joan Rivers won.  ‘Nuff said.

"How May I Humiliate You While Pursing My Lips and Saying My Own Name A Lot?"

Challenges are similar to those in the regular “Apprentice”, only certain celebrities that are still recognizable are able to use their famous mugs to win attention and, possibly, money.  How many times did we see Lennox Lewis act as spokesperson that one season?  Last season, The Donald used his trademark nepotism to retain the services of Donald, Jr. and Ivanka to act as his right and left hands, and even used a challenge to help Ivanka hype her brand-spanking-new line of diamond jewelry.  Celebrity contestants chose from her collection that included engagement rings and wedding rings, two of which she gave herself for her own wedding.  Now THAT’S romance.

The upcoming season promises a whole new level of idiocy.  The Donald confirms this for us.  “This season of Celebrity Apprentice is going to be fantastic,” he tells us with his signature modesty. “The list of celebrities we have this season is outstanding and the show will really resonate with our core viewers and fans.  I expect this season of Celebrity Apprentice to be the best one yet”.  The list of random fame-seekers celebrities is as follows: 

1. Rod Blagojevich, disgraced Illinois governor.  He wasn’t allowed to compete in “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here” because of some law stating he couldn’t cross international borders, so he’s doing this instead.  
2. Cyndi Lauper, singer who was relevant in the 80s.
3. Sharon Osbourne, who is famous for marrying a rock star and parlayed that into as many reality television shows as possible.
4. Bret Michaels, singer of 80s hair band Poison.  Recently looked for ‘love’ as all once-famous people do: he had a reality television show.
5. Darryl Strawberry, former Major League Baseball player remembered more for his addictions than his prowess on the field.
6. Holly Robinson Peete, who I’m pretty sure was on “21 Jump Street” with Johnny Depp and Richard Grieco in the 80s.
7. Sinbad, a comedian who nobody has seen for a long time
8. Some people called Selita Ebanks, Curtis Stone, Goldberg, Michael Johnson, Summer Sanders, Carol Leifer and Maria Kanellis.

I’m pretty sure Michael Johnson was an Olympic athlete.  O, how the mighty have fallen, no?

No, seriously.  What makes people compete on these shows?  There are better ways to raise money for charity than going on a Trump-organized reality television show.  For example, prostitution.  Or selling encyclopedias door-to-door.  Far less humiliating.

But then, what would we watch on Sunday nights?

Some of us were crushed when Soundgarden split up.  The band had recently had a string of hits, a phenomenon that generally directly precedes the demise of all great bands, especially hardcore grunge bands.  In 1996, Metallica refused to play Lollapalooza unless Soundgarden also played.  This further validation of their popularity was the final death knell for one of the original great grunge acts, who split in 1997 after a tension-filled world tour.  Bandmates focused most of their anger on singer Chris Cornell, who brought his own Yoko into the picture after he put a wedding ring on the finger of Alice In Chains manager Susan Silver.  Some claim that members of Soundgarden asked Silver to take over managing duties.  Most call her “Yoko”, which is never a good thing.

BUT THE GREAT NEWS IS…

A Soundgarden reunion was announced by uber-hottie Cornell on New Year’s Day. 

No "One Tree Hill" Soundtrack Nonsense Here.

Genius Guitarist Kim Thayil, Bassist Ben Shepherd, and Drummer Matt Cameron have been playing together recently, have been interviewed together, and seemed to get on just fine.  There was only one thing missing from the equation that equals Soundgarden: the screaming vocals of one Chris Cornell.  And the boys didn’t seem too anxious to see him again, with Thayil even saying, “I’d imagine [a reunion] could [happen], it’s perfectly within the realm of possibilities—everyone’s still alive.  But I don’t see it happening”.  That was in early 2009.  The implication is that they didn’t feel the love for Cornell anymore.

I mean, he has changed.  He’s married again, has 2 new kids, and lives in Paris.  He recorded his last album with hip-hop producer Timbaland.  The good thing about “Scream” is that it did show us that Chris hasn’t lost his formerly-signature vocal ability.  The bad thing is…well, pretty much everything else.  It was like someone put him on a short leash.  Even the video for the single “Scream” makes it seem like he was dying to push further. 

Some of us still crave “Pushing Forward Back”, not ‘restrained vocals with a backbeat suitable for “One Tree Hill”’.  I mean, really.  We don’t want “Part of Me”.  We want “Big Dumb Sex”.

The band reunited onstage with Pearl Jam on October 6, 2009.  During the encore, Temple of the Dog reunited for “Hunger Strike”, and, like magic, all four members of Soundgarden were collaborating. 

After all, everyone has changed since 1997.  Everyone cut their hair, married, had kids.  Well, Kim Thayil still looks and acts exactly the same, continuing to rock out all over the Seattle area.  He’s the exception that makes the rule, the walking time machine.  But Ben Shepherd has a daughter and owns an upscale Seattle bar called “Hazelwood”.  Matt Cameron is happily married and has 2 kids of his own.  I mean, these guys are now in their 40s. 

On the re-vamped SoundgardenWorld.com, the video on the homepage is vintage Soundgarden, a live performance of “Get On The Snake”, showing four guys needing haircuts and showers, banging their collective heads.  They are bringing us back to the truly good days of Soundgarden, even before “Black Hole Sun” tore up the charts and marked the beginning of the end for a band that was best when only hardcore fans had any idea who they were.

There is a story that went with the release of “Superunknown”.  It was said that the song “Like Suicide” was written by Cornell after a bird flew into his window.  To end the severely-injured animal’s suffering, it is said that he hit it with a brick.

For Soundgarden’s fans, we have finally been hit with a similar brick, and our suffering will soon end.  Now we just have to see if we still own flannel.

What happened to drunk-dialing?  You know, when you drink too much and call an ex to either cry over lost love, to yell about how lousy the relationship was, or to make a regrettable booty call?  We’ve entered a new era.  With Facebook marriage proposals and minute-by-minute tweets about celebrity catfights, it was only a matter of time before we saw the Ultimate Drunk Tweet.

Bow Wow, the 22-year-old who recorded his first album at 13, went out to celebrate New Year’s Eve like most 22-year-olds: at a bar.  Of course, this was a celebrity-laden bar.  At LIV night club at the Fontainbleau in Miami, Bow Wow partied with role model Chris Brown.  The two of them were photographed with singer Akon, each smiling and wearing the accessory of the moment: gigantic diamond studs.  Akon probably had the sense to have a limo and driver.  Chris Brown must have some kind of thing worked out with the Department of Corrections.  But our Lil Bow Wow was not only stupid enough to drive his Lamborghini to LIV that night, but thought it would be fun to drive after hours of consuming  Hennessey and Cristal with the boys.

You Don't Have To Be Smart To Own A "Lambo".

But wait!  It gets even more ridiculous.

We might never have known that Bow Wow drove through the Miami streets drunk as a Lohan on a Saturday night.  But he decided to not only be drunk and driving.  He was drunk and driving and tweeting.

Ah, Twitter, how you separate so easily the morons who reduce every moment of their lives to 140 characters (or less) from the 8 other people in your network. 

The 300,000 or so people following Bow Wow on Twitter were treated to these delightful messages, ostensibly typed while driving a vehicle worth more than most American homes.

                     1. “Face numb im whippin the lambo.  Tipsy as [insert profanity here].  Just left livmiami.”
                     2. “Im [similar profanity] up!!! Ohhhh damn.  Y I drive the lambo.  Chris might have to drive after next spot.”

Bow Wow, realizing that he was far too intoxicated to drive, tweeted to the world that he was going to another club to drink more, after which it “might” be a better idea if woman-beating convict Chris Brown took the wheel instead.  At least he’s done the whole ‘arrest and trial’ thing before.

Bow Wow showed his version of remorse the next day, when he tweeted, “Apologize for that tweet.  It was stupid and immature.  Not a way I want to kick my #2010 year off.   I got too much good stuff lined up.  My bad.”

In other words, he regretted tweeting to the world that he was careening around Miami, hammered, in his Lamborghini, because it could have put his career goals for 2010 in jeopardy. 

Can you feel the repentance?