Jersey Shore Kids Want More Cash, Threatened With Replacement
Yes, we’re still talking about MTV’s runaway hit Jersey Shore, thanks to the controversy raised by Italian-American advocacy groups speaking out against them. Now the heavily hair-gelled, silicone-enhanced, diamond-stud-wearing crew is asking for a raise. They want $10,000 per episode. JWoww evidently needs more cash to make those glorified napkins she’s calling her ‘signature’ tops to reveal her impressive chest. And the electric bills from ironing their wife-beater tank tops must be outrageous. Then there’s the cost of the gym memberships, the tanning salon visits…I could go on.
It costs a lot to keep your hair this high and your skin this orange.
So Snooki, “The Situation” and Pauly D, among others, are asking for more. According to the New York Post, MTV “would like the popular names to return, but if the cast doesn’t agree to lower their demands, producers can easily replace them”. True enough. After all, Snooki is already bucking for her own reality show Snookin’ For Love, in which, she proudly announced, about 25 ‘guidos’ would compete for her love. Maybe she should talk to Flavor Flav before she counts on reality TV to find her a soulmate. But she certainly won’t have difficulty locating 25 ‘guidos’. We’ve all seen the bar scenes. Their particular corner of the shore is crawling with heavily-muscled, under-educated, orange fellas.
The current cast has taken full advantage of their new celebrity status. They’ve partied in Las Vegas, met famous people, and have a following even among the Hollywood elite. Michael Cera is such a fan that he not only hung with the cast, but allowed them to give him a guido makeover, famously moussing his hair skyward. Ben Affleck has said that he hasn’t seen the show, but feels like he should. The cast has even been photographed with the cast of The Hills and met Lindsay Lohan. They must be so proud. Maybe JWoww and Heidi Montag can discuss flotation-device-sized cosmetic enhancements. Or their own burgeoning careers as fashion designers.
On the reunion show after this season wrapped, Sammi and Ronnie, speculated throughout the run to be on the road to shopping for Jersey quality engagement rings, broke up. They cited Sammi’s apparent flirtation with a police officer and Ronnie possibly hooking up with JWoww. Tears, anger, and running mascara ensued. In never-before-seen footage, Mike “The Situation” comforts a crying Sammi and kisses her ‘near her mouth’. Ronnie became angry in true Jersey Shore style, saying, “It really makes no difference to me. I cut girls quicker than barbers do, to be honest with you”.
It would be worth it to see Snooki at a ‘barber’, who would probably have no idea to give her the gravity-defying style that defines her. Only a Jersey stylist, the same ilk that gave Adrianna on The Sopranos (prior to her death) her entertaining hairdos, could possibly execute such a move.
Snookin For Love is practically a go, although it sounds more VH1 than MTV. As for the rest of the cast, they’ve already made impressive bank and can ride this fame wave for long enough to parlay it into their own spinoffs, or, as JWoww is already pursuing, clothing lines.
Our best wishes to the rest of the cast, wherever they end up.