What happened to drunk-dialing? You know, when you drink too much and call an ex to either cry over lost love, to yell about how lousy the relationship was, or to make a regrettable booty call? We’ve entered a new era. With Facebook marriage proposals and minute-by-minute tweets about celebrity catfights, it was only a matter of time before we saw the Ultimate Drunk Tweet.
Bow Wow, the 22-year-old who recorded his first album at 13, went out to celebrate New Year’s Eve like most 22-year-olds: at a bar. Of course, this was a celebrity-laden bar. At LIV night club at the Fontainbleau in Miami, Bow Wow partied with role model Chris Brown. The two of them were photographed with singer Akon, each smiling and wearing the accessory of the moment: gigantic diamond studs. Akon probably had the sense to have a limo and driver. Chris Brown must have some kind of thing worked out with the Department of Corrections. But our Lil Bow Wow was not only stupid enough to drive his Lamborghini to LIV that night, but thought it would be fun to drive after hours of consuming Hennessey and Cristal with the boys.
You Don't Have To Be Smart To Own A "Lambo".
But wait! It gets even more ridiculous.
We might never have known that Bow Wow drove through the Miami streets drunk as a Lohan on a Saturday night. But he decided to not only be drunk and driving. He was drunk and driving and tweeting.
Ah, Twitter, how you separate so easily the morons who reduce every moment of their lives to 140 characters (or less) from the 8 other people in your network.
The 300,000 or so people following Bow Wow on Twitter were treated to these delightful messages, ostensibly typed while driving a vehicle worth more than most American homes.
1. “Face numb im whippin the lambo. Tipsy as [insert profanity here]. Just left livmiami.”
2. “Im [similar profanity] up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y I drive the lambo. Chris might have to drive after next spot.”
Bow Wow, realizing that he was far too intoxicated to drive, tweeted to the world that he was going to another club to drink more, after which it “might” be a better idea if woman-beating convict Chris Brown took the wheel instead. At least he’s done the whole ‘arrest and trial’ thing before.
Bow Wow showed his version of remorse the next day, when he tweeted, “Apologize for that tweet. It was stupid and immature. Not a way I want to kick my #2010 year off. I got too much good stuff lined up. My bad.”
In other words, he regretted tweeting to the world that he was careening around Miami, hammered, in his Lamborghini, because it could have put his career goals for 2010 in jeopardy.
Can you feel the repentance?