With Former Marriage Literally in the Toilet, Hulk Hogan Gets Engaged
The divorce between Hulk Hogan and wife Linda has been ugly, to say the least. It finalized in 2008 for all the world to see on “Brooke Knows Best”, the reality show that followed “Hogan Knows Best”. Evidently, Hogan didn’t know best, as he married a toe-headed bimbo who is now dating someone only 1 year older than her daughter. The Hulk has been dating Jennifer McDaniel, a carbon copy of Linda (only taller), and has given her the second of engagement rings in his life (not bad, considering the marriage rates of the average professional wrestler). She was seen wearing a huge diamond ring on her engagement finger last week. Hulk proudly announced to a friend: “That could be the new Mrs. Hogan”.
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First, he has a few things that are bothering him about his divorce from his first wife, the least of which is her ongoing relationship with someone who was just recently able to legally purchase alcohol. Evidently, when Linda moved out, she took a few things that Hogan considers precious and irreplaceable. Among the items “stripped” from his home are, allegedly, a tanning bed (this keeps his leathery wrestler skin in sharp contrast to what is left of his white-blonde hair), chandeliers (which reflect light beautifully off of same), bathtubs (to soak his body, which grows tired after long days hosting “American Gladiators” and entertaining his own significantly-younger significant other), and, most importantly, “the wooden antique toilet seat from the guest house.”
After all, what is a man without his antique toilet seat?
Hulk Hogan (real name: Terry Bollea) claims that Linda pillaged the house to make it impossible to sell. With the Florida mansion still hanging in the balance, they cannot fully put the relationship behind them, and Hogan is, obviously, anxious to do so. Having gotten the approval of his new girlfriend from daughter Brooke and son Nick, he wants to begin a life with her. He believes that Linda is trying to make this impossible by holding on to items that are his, and by leaving their former shared home a disaster.
Maybe Linda is jealous because her barely-legal boyfriend Charlie hasn’t earned enough on his paper route to buy her an engagement ring. Maybe because her own children think her relationship is creepy and gross. Or maybe she’s just a gold-digger.
Hopefully, the Hulkster is able to see the humor in the whole ‘toilet seat issue’. But he wants it back. After all, it is an antique.
Best of luck to Hulk Hogan and his impending nuptials, and may he and Jennifer live a long, happy life together. The three of them: Hulk, Jennifer, and their toilet seat.
Really, Hulk?