Seriously, What Does A Guy Have To Do To Get Impeached in SC?
Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina—the man who made Miss Teen South Carolina look clever, the man who made The Guy Who Had Intimate Relations with A Horse twice look selective—has officially been censured. That’s right. Censured. Not impeached. Even after his very Christian wife, Jenny Sanford, tossed her wedding and engagement rings aside and filed for divorce, the South Carolina House Committee decided that lying, misusing government funds, and disappearing to Argentina for international booty calls were not reasons enough to boot him out of office.
Find the pig in this photo.
Sanford faced 30 ethics charges and broke about 3 dozen laws, including (but not limited to) buying expensive airline tickets to see his Argentine mistress, using state aircraft for personal trips, filing false expense reports, and turning off his cell phone while he “followed the Appalachian Trail” to see his ‘soul mate’, Maria Chapur. That’s all stuff you’re generally not supposed to do when you’re governor.
AND he was getting ready to run for President. I think he can cross that off his Christmas list. Although, who knows? All he got was censured.
This was the guy who was supposed to be all about family values, Christianity, and general Conservatism. He ditched his family, engaged in some pretty radical activities, and did some things definitely not considered ‘Christian’. Some lawmakers are still calling for him to step down, despite his successful dodging-of-the-bullet. One noted that any regular state employee would lose his job if he didn’t show up for five days, which is how long Sanford went missing in June. I guess you get a pass of some sort if you’re the Governor. Even if you are a hypocritical moron.
So over the next 13 months—the amount of time life in Sanford’s term—we are stuck with him. Perhaps South Carolina can hire little Caitlin Upton to act his new spokesperson and Rodell Vereen to procure suitable women for him.
Poor South Carolina. All they want to do is forget about it, and they’re Sanford will sit on his Governor’s throne, governing away for 13 more months while the natives hang their heads in shame and wait for a suitable Democrat to come along.