Carl’s Jr. Makes Fast Food Even Cheesier
What does cleavage and lingerie have to do with selling hamburgers? The same thing that bikinis, barely-there one piece bathing suits, and transparent dresses do. Fast food chain Carl’s Jr. has taken the concept of “sex sells” and taken it to a whole new and nausea-inducing level. Their first brush with controversy was Paris Hilton suggestively washing a car while eating a burger far too large for her mouth. Who decided that cleaning automobiles was sexy, and why would someone eat a hamburger while covered in suds? Because it was Paris Hilton, mostly naked, opening her mouth. At least the advertising department at the chain knew not to let her speak.
Because We All Eat Hamburgers In This Position. If We Can Get Into It.
The newest ad features Kim Kardashian—still without an engagement ring from on-again boyfriend Reggie Bush. It gives all the young men who watch Carl’s Jr. ads hope that Kim will dump her famous multi-millionaire honey and be available to date boys who frequent drive-thru windows. Let them dream. It’s what the company counts on.
None of the ads in the Carl’s Jr. ‘porn series’ inspires me to eat a hamburger. Of course, I’m not a 17-year-old boy begging for the keys to Mom’s station wagon, hoping that Kim Kardashian will be at the Ventura location, picking up her delicious Cranberry Apple Walnut Chicken Salad for the night. Then she’ll change into her lowest-cut nightgown to spill dressing on herself (close your eyes and try to hear the smooth jazz) only to wipe it off and suggestively lick her finger.
This is parody, right? Like the “I Like Square Butts” campaign that sold patty melts in kids meals that included a SpongeBob SquarePants toy. SpongeBob should be hanging his head in shame. You know, if he had a head.
Kimmy finishes the ad by—what else—taking a bath. With her salad. Always good to have a snack there. And a video camera.
What is completely vexing is that it is so hard to tell if Carl’s Jr. is making fun of itself, thereby somehow justifying these ridiculous displays of flesh and incessant sucking on apples, or bacon, or burgers the size of an Oldsmobile. Or are they seriously using the ancient “sex sells” mantra? No one does that anymore.
They ARE getting plenty of attention for it, that’s for sure. Maybe that’s the goal. Still, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at a hamburger or salad the same way again.
Now I’ll need a soundtrack for it.