Jessica Simpson’s Weight Mocked In Un-Funny NFL Cartoon
But It’s Not Funny For The Wrong Reasons
Jessica Simpson put on weight. Then she lost it. Then she put more weight on. Then she lost it again. Her weight fluctuates like the value of the dollar. It IS Jessica Simpson, after all.
A cartoon skit on Fox NFL Sunday featured members of the Dallas Cowboys making fun of Jessica Simpson “blowing up” and had a cartoon-coach Wade Phillips asking Tony Romo if Jessica was still around, because they “could use a Defensive Tackle”. It wasn’t funny, because the skit itself wasn’t funny. Some have said that Jessica put on weight after failing to get an engagement ring from Tony, but she was porking out well before that. And it was all over the media.
"But It's Wrong to Judge Me By My Weight..."
Jessica has been working on a reality show called “The Price of Beauty”, in which she travels around the world, showing what it is to be beautiful in different countries. This all stems from the constant attention on her ever-changing waistline. But her best intentions—or the intentions of the people who thought of the show—are all wrong.
The fact is that poor little Jessica claims that it is terrible to have to be so skinny to be considered beautiful, but she is forever trying to be just that. When she got into shape to star in the completely awful Dukes of Hazzard movie, she was nearly naked, on camera, all the time. She made a video that had her washing a car in a bikini, writhing around all soapy and wet. She performed in shorts that are smaller than most underwear. She was more proud of that figure than she had ever been before. She wanted to look like an undernourished teenager as much as everyone else expected her to. Giving up her nachos grande under the watchful eye of her personal trainer was hell to her, but she sure sucked up the attention she got for being a stick figure.
When she started putting on weight, famously performing at some state fair or other wearing unflattering Mom Jeans and an enormous belt that allowed her gut to really shine, she was upset over the media firestorm that followed. She lamented the attention she got for her chubbier figure, but ate up attention when she lost weight and performed a few months later, again in her Daisy Dukes.
If you want us to feel sorry for you, Jessica, then stop trying to be skinny. If you want us to listen to you, well, you’re out of luck, honey. No one really cares what you have to say. Your constant whining over pressure to be thin is getting old. No, it GOT old.
You wanna be a sex symbol in Hollywood these days, then you have to pay the price. Eat air, drink water, and exercise 7 times a day. You know, like Madonna does.
You wanna be famous and chubby? Marry someone in Atlanta and vie for a spot on “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”. Otherwise, just shaddup.
See you in the ATL.