By now we’ve all heard of the brutal (yet false) attack on Brody Jenner’s girlfriend, Playboy playmate Jayde Nicole (were names changed to protect the not-so-innocent, or did her mother hope to have a little porn star?).  The attacker was, allegedly, Joe Francis, who has earned his millions with the “Girls Gone Wild” videos which, despite all common sense, made him a celebrity among celebrities.  Brody Jenner was nobody but the son of a famous athlete until he managed to hook up with some chick on a reality show.

Basically, nobody in this situation has any right to be famous.  Yet there they are, taking up space on my TMZ.   And when a couple of idiots fight, it’s a train wreck we’ve gotta watch, right?

Famous-for-Being-Famous: Not Always a Walk in the Park, huh, Brody?

Famous-for-Being-Famous: Not Always a Walk in the Park, huh, Brody?

Brody and Jayde (seriously?) were evidently out celebrating Brody’s 26th birthday at Guy and Dolls.  Joe Francis was there and—surprise, surprise—was hitting on a woman.  Because Francis is not exactly known for his tact and class, Brody’s playmate perceived his advances on the woman to be ‘harassment’.  And if anyone knows about tact and class, it’s a Playboy playmate.

TMZ interviewed Jayde outside the club, where she accused Francis of pulling her hair, punching her in the face, pulling her to the ground, and kicking her.  Chivalrous as always, Brody jumped at Francis, punched him, and was dragged out by security.  While Francis evidently chatted with the club’s manager and scored an absolutely free Guys and Dolls t-shirt, club security tased Brody, who wouldn’t calm down. 

About 5,000 volts did the trick, however.

Now Francis has issued a statement saying that, “The only reason Brody Jenner and his girlfriend are making these claims is because they know they are in deep legal trouble for this second unprovoked attack on me.”

Brody chose a much more dignified way to make his statement, posting the following on Twitter: “Joe Francis beat up my lady this morning for no reason! Pulled her to the ground, punched & kicked her..what does that say about him  How can you call yourself a man when you beat up a girl??  Joe Francis is a piece of ****.  Joe Francis needs to be in jail!!!”  Either celebrities are given more than 140 characters, or this was over several postings.  Either way, Brody should really have used a publicist.  I mean, really, Brody?  Twitter?

Also weighing in on the subject were famewhores Heidi and Spencer Pratt who, in between waving their wedding rings around and having plastic surgery, found time to say something negative.  Spencer went to MTV to say, “I hear Brody got tased.  I don’t know if that’s what you’d call a fight.  I heard Brody sucker-punched Joe, so then Brody got tasered.  I don’t speak to Brody, as you’ll see on this season of ‘The Hills’.”

Nice plug, Spence!  We’ll all be sure to tune in now!  All five people on the planet who didn’t know you two hate each other are in shock!

When idiots fight, other idiots comment.  And we can’t resist reading about it.

It is the circle of life for the famous-for-being-famous.

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