Still reeling from the waste of time and space that was “The Real Housewives of New York” and their ugly step-sisters “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”, and still trying to regain consciousness after the snooze-fests they caused nationwide, we have all come to a realization: we don’t want to watch rich, vacuous women flaunting their wealth.
We want to watch rich, vacuous women flaunt their wealth while they’re brawlin’.
Let's Get Ready To Rumble!
Welcome back, “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”. You are a breath of expletive-filled air in an otherwise sterile and boring environment. Watching Bethenny and Kelly discuss their dislike for one another in a calm, quiet manner first in an upscale bar, and then in the bedroom of another Housewife’s child, left us all reaching for NoDoz to crush into our Red Bulls. Watching NeNe and Kim have a shouting match and threatening each other is something else altogether.
Now THAT’S entertainment.
Hearing Lisa Wu Hartwell tell Kim that she would flip her over the couch…priceless.
In fact, we have the token White Girl, Kim Zolciak, aspiring country singer and collector of diamonds from elusive sugar-daddy “Big Poppa”, to thank for much of the controversy on the show. Her claims that producer Dallas Austin would make her a country star are, well, hilarious. Watching her sing was painful. Dallas Austin is good, but he can’t perform miracles. NeNe can, though, when you get to watch her imitate Kim singing. She can make you NOT change the channel.
We like the Housewives of Atlanta because they swing for the fences. There is no holding back, no worries of how it will look on television. This is the “Oh no she didn’t” Housewives. I’m not even making it up. One of the wives, and I won’t say who, does say that about another. These ladies are ready to take it to the mat if they have to, and we love them for it.
The new kid on the block is Kandi Burruss. She hoped to not get too emotional on the show. Evidently, the former singer from Xscape and collaborator with many famous musicians got on the wrong side of NeNe. NeNe appears to have a lot of wrong sides to get on. So they set to arguing. Magical.
Of course, gold-digger and lousy songstress Kim spends most of her time with her lips firmly planted on Kandi’s rear end, because Kandi was not only a successful performer, but she continues to write hits for TLC (winning a Grammy for “No Scrubs”), Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and Alicia Keys, among others. Maybe Kandi can help Kim’s dreams come true? I hate to be a spoiler, but you simply can’t make a silk purse out of a sow. I mean, a sow’s ear.
Kandi will be the one bringing the cameos of really, really famous people. Of course, Lisa Wu Hartwell is married to NFL linebacker Ed Hartwell, but don’t bring up the “free agency thing”. Sheree Whitfield is divorced from New York Giant Bob Whitfield. NeNe has suggested that in her emotional, tear-filled search for her real father, she may have discovered a celebrity sister.
Who is it? Who will throw the first punch? Who will scream at whom in public?
That’s the joy of these ladies. They’ll throw down, cameras or not.
Welcome back, Real Housewives of Atlanta. We’ve been bored a long time.