Coto de Caza, CA – Kevin Federline showed up at the X Games Celebrity Skins Classic golf tourney showing a new side of himself. Or, evidently, several. The former dancer and professional babydaddy—he has two children with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson and two more with ex-wife Britney Spears—came to the golf course ready to play with other D-Listers, but all people could see is him. Eclipsing the sun.
"Oh My God, Someone Ate Kevin!" Girlfriend Victoria Walks Proudly Alongside.
When K-Fed—now called “K-Fat” by the tabloids—exchanged wedding rings with Britney Spears, he was a lean, mean dancing machine. He was still kinda dirty and earned a ‘bad-boy’ image for hooking up with Britney while Shar Jackson was still pregnant with their second baby, but he could dance and looked good without his shirt on. He was still reviled in the press as a gold-digger and fame-whore, but Britney loved him and, together, they made two babies and a really, really awful reality show.
Jilted ex Jackson jumped to K-Fed’s defense, fearing perhaps that her own name might be left out of the press. “It’s daddy weight!” she told Usmagazine.com. “When you are a full-time parent, sometimes you can’t focus on you.” Kevin had been given full custody of his two sons with Britney after she became a lunatic and shaved her head, but that decision is being reviewed, as she has been in therapy, recording and dancing again, and getting her life back on track. She has also been making a lot of effort to see her sons.
This would allow time for K-Fed to, say, go to the gym. Or WALK to Taco Bell instead of driving.
But at the thankfully-misleading “Celebrity Skins” golf game, while other former celebrities desperate to stay relevant engaged in competitive physical activity, Kevin and girlfriend Victoria Prince sat in the shade sipping on vodka and OJ and smoking. There’s a nice image for the kids. “Look, Sean Preston, there’s daddy getting hammered on the porch!”
It does seem that, in general, Kevin is a good father. He’s certainly good at becoming one. But “baby weight” is generally a term reserved for a woman who puts on some poundage while carrying a baby, eating for two, and all of that. Men don’t get the privilege of claiming “baby weight”.
K-Fed is just a chubster. It’s okay. He’s still famous enough and will always be the ex-husband and babydaddy of Britney, who is really, really famous. The more she gets her life together, the more he gets to be on the outer edge of the spotlight. Plus, there’s always “Celebrity Fit Club” or some other reality show that gets the formerly-famous to humiliate themselves on national TV. Maybe even “The Surreal Life”. Look what that did for Verne Troyer…oh, wait. Never mind.
Aim high, K-Fed. Aim High.