Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Still reeling from the waste of time and space that was “The Real Housewives of New York” and their ugly step-sisters “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”, and still trying to regain consciousness after the snooze-fests they caused nationwide, we have all come to a realization: we don’t want to watch rich, vacuous women flaunting their wealth.

We want to watch rich, vacuous women flaunt their wealth while they’re brawlin’.

Let's Get Ready To Rumble!

Welcome back, “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”.  You are a breath of expletive-filled air in an otherwise sterile and boring environment.  Watching Bethenny and Kelly discuss their dislike for one another in a calm, quiet manner first in an upscale bar, and then in the bedroom of another Housewife’s child, left us all reaching for NoDoz to crush into our Red Bulls.  Watching NeNe and Kim have a shouting match and threatening each other is something else altogether. 

Now THAT’S entertainment.

Hearing Lisa Wu Hartwell tell Kim that she would flip her over the couch…priceless.

In fact, we have the token White Girl, Kim Zolciak, aspiring country singer and collector of diamonds from elusive sugar-daddy “Big Poppa”, to thank for much of the controversy on the show.  Her claims that producer Dallas Austin would make her a country star are, well, hilarious.  Watching her sing was painful.  Dallas Austin is good, but he can’t perform miracles.  NeNe can, though, when you get to watch her imitate Kim singing.  She can make you NOT change the channel.

We like the Housewives of Atlanta because they swing for the fences.  There is no holding back, no worries of how it will look on television.  This is the “Oh no she didn’t” Housewives.  I’m not even making it up.  One of the wives, and I won’t say who, does say that about another.  These ladies are ready to take it to the mat if they have to, and we love them for it.

The new kid on the block is Kandi Burruss.  She hoped to not get too emotional on the show.  Evidently, the former singer from Xscape and collaborator with many famous musicians got on the wrong side of NeNe.  NeNe appears to have a lot of wrong sides to get on.  So they set to arguing.  Magical.

Of course, gold-digger and lousy songstress Kim spends most of her time with her lips firmly planted on Kandi’s rear end, because Kandi was not only a successful performer, but she continues to write hits for TLC (winning a Grammy for “No Scrubs”), Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and Alicia Keys, among others.  Maybe Kandi can help Kim’s dreams come true?  I hate to be a spoiler, but you simply can’t make a silk purse out of a sow.  I mean, a sow’s ear. 

Kandi will be the one bringing the cameos of really, really famous people.  Of course, Lisa Wu Hartwell is married to NFL linebacker Ed Hartwell, but don’t bring up the “free agency thing”.  Sheree Whitfield is divorced from New York Giant Bob Whitfield.  NeNe has suggested that in her emotional, tear-filled search for her real father, she may have discovered a celebrity sister.

Who is it?  Who will throw the first punch?  Who will scream at whom in public? 

That’s the joy of these ladies.  They’ll throw down, cameras or not. 

Welcome back, Real Housewives of Atlanta.  We’ve been bored a long time.

Coto de Caza, CA – Kevin Federline showed up at the X Games Celebrity Skins Classic golf tourney showing a new side of himself.  Or, evidently, several.  The former dancer and professional babydaddy—he has two children with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson and two more with ex-wife Britney Spears—came to the golf course ready to play with other D-Listers, but all people could see is him.  Eclipsing the sun.

"Oh My God, Someone Ate Kevin!" Girlfriend Victoria Walks Proudly Alongside.

When K-Fed—now called “K-Fat” by the tabloids—exchanged wedding rings with Britney Spears, he was a lean, mean dancing machine.  He was still kinda dirty and earned a ‘bad-boy’ image for hooking up with Britney while Shar Jackson was still pregnant with their second baby, but he could dance and looked good without his shirt on.  He was still reviled in the press as a gold-digger and fame-whore, but Britney loved him and, together, they made two babies and a really, really awful reality show.

Jilted ex Jackson jumped to K-Fed’s defense, fearing perhaps that her own name might be left out of the press.  “It’s daddy weight!” she told Usmagazine.com.  “When you are a full-time parent, sometimes you can’t focus on you.”  Kevin had been given full custody of his two sons with Britney after she became a lunatic and shaved her head, but that decision is being reviewed, as she has been in therapy, recording and dancing again, and getting her life back on track.  She has also been making a lot of effort to see her sons.

This would allow time for K-Fed to, say, go to the gym.  Or WALK to Taco Bell instead of driving.

But at the thankfully-misleading “Celebrity Skins” golf game, while other former celebrities desperate to stay relevant engaged in competitive physical activity, Kevin and girlfriend Victoria Prince sat in the shade sipping on vodka and OJ and smoking.  There’s a nice image for the kids.  “Look, Sean Preston, there’s daddy getting hammered on the porch!”

It does seem that, in general, Kevin is a good father.  He’s certainly good at becoming one.  But “baby weight” is generally a term reserved for a woman who puts on some poundage while carrying a baby, eating for two, and all of that.  Men don’t get the privilege of claiming “baby weight”.

K-Fed is just a chubster.  It’s okay.  He’s still famous enough and will always be the ex-husband and babydaddy of Britney, who is really, really famous.  The more she gets her life together, the more he gets to be on the outer edge of the spotlight.  Plus, there’s always “Celebrity Fit Club” or some other reality show that gets the formerly-famous to humiliate themselves on national TV.  Maybe even “The Surreal Life”.   Look what that did for Verne Troyer…oh, wait.  Never mind.

Aim high, K-Fed.  Aim High.

(and in a really icky way)

Everybody knows that Michael Jackson has died.

Everybody remembers the 1984 Pepsi Ad during the filming of which Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire.

And almost everybody has read somewhere that there are several companies that can make diamonds out of the remains of loved ones.

Has everyone done the math yet?

Evidently, during the hair-on-fire incident, Executive Producer Ralph Cohen was the guy who threw his jacket onto Jackson’s head to extinguish the flames.  As Jackson was whisked away by ambulance, Cohen saw some charred Jheri-curl on the set.  Rather than thinking, “Poor guy” or “Yuck” and looking for a janitor, he scooped up the singed locks and held onto them about 25 years. 

The Glowing Eyes. The Glove Extended in Terror. Who Wouldn't Commemorate This Moment With Jewelry?

Then another clearly-disturbed person BOUGHT the burnt hair.  This man, John Reznikoff, is actually a Collector of Famous Hair.  He is said to have delicate tendrils from the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Albert Einstein, and Abraham Lincoln.  He has already had some of Beethoven’s musical waves made into diamonds.

LifeGem is a Chicago-based company that takes the cremains of loved ones—including pets—and turns them into diamonds.  They have been very successful at taking the ashes of people (or dogs, cats, etc.) and using their laboratory to create precious gems.  Reznikoff worked with them to make the Beethoven diamonds. 

But back to the topic at hand.  Reznikoff, having purchased bits of Michael Jackson’s mane, extolled its value, stating that, “The provenance and authenticity of this lock of hair is impeccable, including the highly-publicized video showing the original owner of the hair using his Armani jacket to extinguish Jackson’s hair.”  Reznikoff also bought Cohen’s jacket, probably to snort any ash off of its lining.  One might also point out that the ORIGINAL owner of the hair was, technically, Michael Jackson.

Only a portion of this pop booty will be turned into diamonds.  The rest will remain in Reznikoff’s macabre collection. 

According to Dean VandenBeisen, founder of LifeGem, “We specialize in creating diamonds from locks of hair.  Our plan is to give people an opportunity to own a diamond made from Michael Jackson’s DNA.”  He also points out that, “We are currently evaluating Jackson’s hair sample to determine how many diamonds can be created.  This will be a limited collection and we anticipate great interest.”

And why shouldn’t there be?  Who wouldn’t want the King of Pop dangling from each earlobe?  Who wouldn’t love a lovely pendant made of The Gloved One?  Who wouldn’t proudly wear a charm bracelet with gems of Wacko Jacko?

Evidently, one of the diamonds made from Beethoven’s hair (and we have no chain of evidence to support that they really WERE the locks of Ludwig) sold on eBay for around $200,000.  And THAT guy never sold out the Staples Center.  One can only imagine the cost of a Michael Jackson diamond. 

Keep checking eBay, fans.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Better Get a Ring SOON, Says Jennifer.

One would think that most men would avoid Jennifer Love Hewitt after her much-reported emotional neediness and demands for marriage.  After ex-fiancé Ross McCall was endlessly called to her side to massage her ego and profess his undying love, the couple finally split.  Whispers around the set of Hewitt’s show “Ghost Whisperer” said that she was constantly calling him to the set and then yelling at him when he showed up.  Before that, former boy-bander Rich Cronin received his token eternity band from her, but she dumped him over the phone while on a movie set far, far away.  Soon after, he saw tabloid photos of her with seven different men while they were still an item.  Evidently, Rich wasn’t in a hurry to get married.  At least not enough of a hurry.

One of These People is Thinking About an Engagement Ring. One is NOT. Guesses?

J. Love’s biological clock has been ticking so loudly that the whole world can hear it. 

Jamie Kennedy, who met Hewitt on the “Ghost Whisperer” set, was evidently sucked into the vortex that is her ample cleavage, and has been unable to claw his way out.  After only a few months of dating, the pair was rumored to be engaged after they had, allegedly, been seen ring shopping.  That turned out to be untrue.  Kennedy freaked and was very quick to let everyone know that it was absolutely, 100% NOT true. 

Hewitt, of course, responded by saying, “God, would that be the worst thing in the world?  Excuse me, but just for a second, there’s a line of people who would probably be okay with that.”

Yes, Jennifer, if this was 1998 and we were still watching “Can’t Hardly Wait” on HBO.

Then she went on to say, “A timeline?  By this time next year, if we’re not planning something, then there’s a situation.”

Nothing sexier to a man than an ultimatum.  It must have driven her nuts when he pretended to propose to her onstage as a part of his stand-up act, only to explain later that it was a joke.  What are the odds that she found it funny?

Jessica Simpson Asks to Please, Please, Please Get Married?

Jessica Simpson didn’t so much threaten as beg, which, as we know, men find equally sexy to an ultimatum.  Evidently, Tony Romo was finally driven to dump J. Simp the night before her Barbie-and-Ken-themed birthday party because of her incessant talk about settling down.  She was busy dropping hints about getting an engagement ring for her 29th birthday.  She had previously dropped hints last Christmas, after 1 year of dating.  A week later, she dropped further hints for New Year’s.  Also before Valentine’s Day.  I’m betting that Tony tensed up around Groundhog Day as well.  Every minute on the golf course with Creepy Papa Joe Simpson must have been a nightmare for the ever-more-popular quarterback.  Just as he’s starting to get famous and the chicks are starting to dig him, he ends up in the middle of the Beverly Hillbillies. 

One of These People is Thinking about an Engagement Ring. One is Thinking "It Just Isn't Worth It." Guesses?

So finally, on the eve of her really, really lame little-girl-style birthday fiesta, after she talks about marriage again, Tony freaked, said he wasn’t ready, and ended it.

He was later seen swapping spit with 43 year-old actress Michelle Johnson, who was, evidently, on “Melrose Place” and “Tales from the Crypt”.  Seems the only thing she’s done worth mentioning in the last 10 years is Tony Romo.

It seems that the lesson to be learned here is: It doesn’t matter how big your rack is.  You can’t force someone into marrying you.

(and Still, Maybe, No Career)

Chris Brown Learns ‘No Apology, No Career’, One minute, Chris Brown is the toast of the R&B set, being exalted for his ability to dance, to sing, to imitate Michael Jackson.  He is dating another young R&B powerhouse, singer Rihanna, and it looks like they’re going to get married when she walks around in January of 2009 wearing a 20-carat diamond engagement ring.

The next minute, he feels the cuffs snap around his wrists, and probably had just enough time before posting bail to realize that this could be the end of his career.  Oh, yeah, and his relationship. 

There Is No More Perfect Metaphor.

In February, Chris Brown and Rihanna had the fight that rocked the hip hop world.  Whether it was started because Rihanna was jealous that her man was talking to British singer Leona Lewis earlier in the night, or because he got a booty call while they were driving in his rented Lamborghini, Chris Brown ended up beating his girlfriend bloody.  Pictures that were released of her injuries were gruesome, and she later told the police that it wasn’t the first time Brown had hit her. 

What we know is true is that Chris Brown beat and choked his girlfriend.  And he was just stupid enough to do it in public. 

Suddenly, he disappears.  He is noticeably absent from every event.  And, no doubt on the advice of his attorneys, he is keeping his mouth shut.

Then, with the death of Michael Jackson, he finally comes out of hiding to work with Diddy and The Game on a tribute song which ranked just slightly higher on the cheesiness scale than Diddy’s tribute song to the Notorious BIG.  Even in the video, however, the spotlight is very clearly on The Game, while Brown looks more like a hooded backup singer. 

And then the 2009 BET Awards roll around, with Chris Brown scheduled to participate in another Michael Jackson tribute, since there certainly hadn’t been enough of them at that point.  Suddenly, Brown’s name is taken off the list, and he was not permitted to perform, despite his pleading that Michael Jackson was his idol and he felt he needed to show it.  Rumors swirled that Jay-Z was pushing BET to keep Brown out of the show.  BET was concerned that it would cause too much controversy and take attention away from Michael Jackson, who wasn’t controversial at all.

And now we get a video apology from Brown.  Inexplicably wearing a strange red chef’s jacket, Brown spoke openly and honestly about his actions.  Well, he spoke about them, anyway. 

• He said that what he had done was “inexcusable”.  Well, that’s true. 

• He also said, “I wish I had the chance to live those few moments again, but unfortunately, I can’t.”  Again,that’s true.  But that beating had to take more than a few moments.

• He told us that, “I grew up in a home where there was domestic violence, and I saw first-hand what uncontrolled rage could do.  I have sought and am continuing to seek help to ensure that what occurred in February can never happen again.”  That sounds like excuses.  How do you make excuses for something inexcusable?  Only Chris Brown knows.

• He ends with, “What I did was unacceptable, 100 percent.  I can only ask and pray that you forgive me, please.”  Yeah, we’ll think about it and get back to you.  Of course, all Michael Jackson had to do to be forgiven for his indiscretions was to die.

What was billed as an ‘apology’ came off sounding more like a desperate boy begging to be allowed to play with the big kids again.  Having lost the approval of his friends and family is one thing.  But to lose endorsements and the ability to perform at the BET Awards in front of millions?  That’s something else altogether. 

Hey Chris! Got Milk?

It used to be that we just referred to them as “The Real Housewives”.  We were all vaguely aware that they had individual names, but we all referred to them by nicknames.  Whether it was Orange County, Atlanta, New York, or New Jersey, they were all just “The Real Housewives”.  The only differences were really in the accents.  Oh yes, and the Atlanta cast is actually multi-racial.  But a princess is a princess is a princess, whether or not she has the actual title, and every one of these women qualified. 

And now, just as the only non-housewife on “The Real Housewives of New York” is actually getting ready to marry someone, she bolts from the show.

When The Smackdown Occurs, My Money's On This One.

Bethenny Frankel, the 37 year-old organic chef who made the same pact we all make with our gay boyfriends (to marry them and have kids if we don’t find an appropriate hetero mate within a certain amount of time), finally got an engagement ring from boyfriend Jason Hoppy.  She’s going to be a wife!  What better time to decide you really need your own reality show, if only to get away from that obnoxious narcissist Kelly?

So off goes Bethenny Frankel with an offer from the Bravo network to have her own show.  This is, of course, hot on the heels of the release of her book and her agreement with PETA to pose in the buff for them.  The plan is to follow this “real” person as she plans her wedding and continues her career.  The show was set to be called “Skinny & the City”, a cute reference to Bethenny’s invention of the “Skinnygirl” cocktails, which have far fewer calories than their regular counterparts. 

Bethenny was all on board.  Her own show, a fiancé, a hot-selling book, going nude to save animals…it was a dream!

Except for the part where someone owns the website skinnyandthecity.com, a NEW YORK-based website that gives women from NEW YORK nutritional advice from registered dietician Tanya Zuckerbrot.  Zuckerbrot has said that, “Me and my staff spent a considerable amount of time brainstorming [the name of the site] and decided ‘Skinny and the City’ truly encapsulates the philosophy I preach”.  Horrible grammar aside, does it offend anyone else that two women are ready to have a WWE-style smack-down over the word “skinny”? 

What about “thin”—or better yet, “healthy”.

No, they’re willing to go to court over the concept that puts 12 year-olds on diets and sends Lindsay Lohan on a non-eating tear every time she has a fight with Samantha Ronson.

I just hope that, when the smack-down occurs, that they put it on pay-per-view and send all the proceeds to eating disorder clinics in Greater Manhattan.

Jon Gosselin of television’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8”, a show about his life with his wife and 8 children, proposed to his girlfriend of two months—and daughter of the plastic surgeon who did Kate Gosselin’s tummy-tuck—this weekend while on vacation in France.  There are so many things wrong with that concept that it is difficult to even wrap your mind around it. 

If Your Are Still Young ‘N Pretty In Your Mugshot, Then You, Too,

Can Score Your Own Reality TV Star.

Jon was, evidently, invited to France to meet with tacky t-shirt designer Christian Audigier about designing a line of children’s clothes.  His 8 children would be pimped out to model the new line.  Only someone like Christian Audigier would approach Gosselin for this project, after allegations of Gosselin cheating were all but confirmed by photos on TMZ and Kate filing for divorce.  I guess any publicity is good publicity for some folks.  Considering that many of Audigier’s designs feature knives piercing hearts, this is a match made in heaven.

While Jon was living the high life in St. Tropez in a $2,000/night hotel room, he presented 22 year-old Hailey Glassman with an $180,000 engagement ring.  The design is a very tasteful skull surrounded by four black diamonds, because nothin’ says lovin’ like a big ol’ cranium on your ring finger.  Perhaps it was the influence of Audigier.  Perhaps it was just the trademark bad taste of Gosselin, who thinks it perfectly reasonable to get engaged before he is divorced. 

Of course, this is also the man who procreated with a woman who has the most inexplicable hair style ever to come out of SuperCuts.  Whether Kate’s trademark reverse mullet was an aphrodisiac is in question.  What is not in question is that Jon really didn’t want 8 kids, but figured a reality TV show about it would bring in a whole lotta cash, making the scenario a lot more bearable.

Jon’s new fiancé is also, apparently, driven by the dinero.  Or should we say l’argent?  After failing to be cast in MTV’s “Real World” or on Oxygen’s “Bad Girls’ Club”, young Hailey set her sights on someone who had already cashed in on the reality television cow.  Jon, having already seen enough of his middle-aged wife and their litter, was ready for some fresh meat.  Enter Hailey.

And two months later, they are engaged.  A source says that “They started dating two months ago and they both just knew the other was The One instantly.”  We knew it was for real because young Hailey changed her Facebook status to “In A Relationship”.  Wow.

Well, he is The One with money and fame (although both were dubiously earned).

She is The One with a naturally flat stomach and no kids.

Good luck, y’all.

Gaborone, Botswana – Kim Kardashian and boyfriend Reggie Bush dragged a few other people with them to visit Africa as representatives of Russell Simmons’ Diamond Empowerment Fund.  In tow as always was Khloe Kardashian, who more or less makes her living riding on the very ample coattails of her sister.  Also along for the trip were former NFL player Ray Crockett and DEF Executive Director Ellen Haddigan.

Exactly What ARE The Qualifications To Be An Ambassador?

It is only fitting that Kardashian actually see how diamonds are mined, since the engagement ring she has pre-selected for herself costs somewhere in the neighborhood of $20 million.  It’s okay, though.  Reggie makes tons of money and Kim could always pose nude for someone again if necessary.  

The trip, which has brought Kim and her entourage to South Africa and Botswana, was planned to bring more attention to the organization founded by Russell Simmons to help economically disadvantaged people in countries where diamonds are their primary natural resource.  The DEF’s first beneficiary is the Community and Individual Development Association City Campus, a school of higher learning in Johannesburg, South Africa that gives scholarships to financially disadvantaged students.  One would think that it would be difficult to find a financially advantaged student in Johannesburg.  Since diamond miners are barely paid peanuts (at least peanuts would fill their stomachs), there are many, many young people for whom any education at all is nearly impossible. 

So here comes Kimmy in her designer clothes and full face of makeup in case of any photo-ops.  Since most of the children in the school she visited can barely afford to keep shelter, it seems unlikely that they would recognize the reality TV star and her professional athlete boyfriend.  Maybe they were briefed ahead of time to look happy when the cameras rolled in. 

Our Kim Twittered her experiences during her trip, saying, “…just saw baby monkey’s running around! We are going to feed them!!!!! They said they are friendly!”, and she noted, “how educating it has been coming 2 Africa”. 

Perhaps Kim should have stayed a while longer in that school.

When going to a job interview or court, it is always wise to dress conservatively and measure your words. 

Unless you are Paris Hilton.  Then you should wear something strapless with a gigantic diamond necklace and a sequined headband.  Nothing says “responsible” like dressing for da club in the middle of the day at Los Angeles District Court.  Giggling and talking like a 7 year-old girl while fiddling with your pigtails are optional, but recommended. 

Paris Hilton is currently being sued for $8.3 million by the makers of the film “Pledge This!”, in which she starred.  Although she failed to receive an Oscar nod for her work, she did get paid $1 million for her role as a mischievous sorority girl in South Beach.  The only part of the script that really required any acting skill on her part was making herself believable as Someone Who Would Get Into College.  Either way, the investors in the film claim that she failed to promote the film as promised. 

Yeah, I wouldn't Have Been Proud Of It, Either.

While she did promote the movie prior to its massive release on over 24 theater screens across the world, she did not continue prior to the release of the DVD.  Considering Paris’s popularity overseas and by teenaged boys who would rather watch the movie in the privacy of their own rooms, investors believe that the DVD release would have been the real moneymaker.  That is why the movie’s investors are seeking to recoup the funds spent making and distributing the film.  Actually, an attorney for the investors filed the lawsuit, as the company responsible for this celluloid masterpiece was shut down as a $300 million Ponzi Scheme by the SEC, and its chief operator is now residing somewhere in Brazil.

Nothing shady there.

Anyway, they want their money back before they run out of paper umbrellas for their drinks, so they are fishing in the deep, deep pockets of a silly, silly girl.

Boy, did they get the wrong judge.

While most judges might be put off by Paris’s parade of designer gowns, six-inch stilettos and ostentatious jewelry, she happened to get The Happy Judge.

Chief US District Judge Federico Moreno is known for his sense of humor.  When Paris waved delicately to the judge while taking the stand, he commented that “I’ve never had a witness wave at me before.”  Later, when Paris was being questioned about her MTV Reality Show “My New BFF”, which was filming in Dubai before she flew to LA for court, Judge Moreno asked her what ‘BFF’ means.

Hilton replied, “Paris Hilton’s My New Best Friend Forever” (because everyone interjects their own name before every response).

His Honor responded with, “This will be my best case forever.” 

Over the forlorn weeping from the prosecutor’s table, Paris said: “You’re my best judge forever.”

And a collective gag rolled through the courtroom.

Since the US gets all of its television ideas from England, particularly its reality shows, it only makes sense that we would, one day, get our own Susan Boyle.  When Kevin Skinner walked out onto the stage June 30 in old jeans, work boots, a ratty Baja pullover, and a baseball cap on backwards, everyone figured he would make a fool of himself.  Of course, he did, briefly, when asked by judge David Hasselhoff what he does for work, and he admitted that he was unemployed, but used to be a chicken-catcher.  His thick Kentucky accent had everyone thinking “talentless redneck”, but there was a hint of “or is he?” 

"I May Not Look Purdy But At Least I Got On My Original Face."

But just a hint, and a tiny one at that.

Mostly, we were thinking that he was a catastrophe waiting to happen, live, in front of the entire country (or whatever portion of it watches “America’s Got Talent”, anyway).  A 35-year old out-of-work chicken-wrangler who talks slower than cold molasses on a winter night.  Surely, it was to be an All-American version of William Hung, right?  The female judge, who is apparently British, was actually cackling away.  He was judged and on his way back to the farm in her eyes.

And then he started plucking on his guitar and singing.  Even those of us who don’t listen to country music were thinking “wow”.  The camera even panned to David Hasselhoff visibly saying, “Wow”. 

And then we’re all of a sudden thinking of what Kevin Skinner could look like after a good hot shower, wearing new jeans and a button-down shirt, and, probably, a cowboy hat.  Suddenly, he was not so ridiculous.  Even the cackling Brit quieted down.

And then we squinted.  Is that Sharon Osbourne?  My God, what happened to her face?  She doesn’t even look like herself.  It sounds like her, and it dresses like her, right down to the flashy diamond earrings.  Mostly it sounds like her.  There are no other human vocal cords that can make that kind of noise.  But it really doesn’t look like her.  It’s definitely a woman, and not a bad-looking woman for her age, but that face is not the face of Sharon Osbourne.  At least she was able to get over herself and realize that that Kentucky boy could sing. 

Kevin Skinner’s Got Talent, and Sharon Osbourne’s got, evidently, an entirely new head.

Mazal tov to both of them.