Rapper T-Pain is well-known and respected in the hip hop community, having collaborated with some of the biggest names in the business. He also appeared in the SNL short-gone-viral-video “I’m On a Boat”, with Andy Samberg and Akiva Schaffer. After working with big names like Akon, Bow Wow, T.I., Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, Kanye West, Rick Ross, and Ludacris, it seems like T-Pain’s star continues to rise.
While some rappers are lamenting the bad economy and scaling back on their “bling”, which, evidently, they don’t call it anymore, T-Pain has gone about 80 steps beyond NOT scaling back.
After Mr. Thomas Beatie famously gave birth to his second child on June 9, T-Pain has now famously given birth to a very, very large diamond necklace. It makes Lil Jon’s “Crunk Ain’t Dead” chain look like a bauble. It makes Paul Wall’s diamond-encrusted grill look tasteful and elegant.
Really, What More Can I Add?
About his new piece of jewelry, T-Pain says, “I just figured I had to shut down something, some part of the game. I thought I did it with Auto-Tune, and so I guess I gotta do it with jewelry…just show ‘em where the money’s comin’ from. You know what I’m sayin’?”
Yes, yes we DO know what you’re saying, Mr. Pain. Now that you have popularized a computer program that eliminates the need to give a good vocal performance at live shows (Auto-Tune, now admittedly used by artists like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw), you have to do something else to shock us. So what did you do? You got a Big-Ass Chain.
Literally. Pain’s new neckwear is 197 carats of diamonds set in gold, and it reads in ENORMOUS letters: “BIG ASS CHAIN”. It is actually secured around his neck by several thick chains, as the ‘pendant’ (it feels so wrong to call it that) weighs 7 ½ pounds, which is, coincidentally, what his baby girl weighed at birth. So this is his new baby.
And, despite the scandal that claims producer Rick Ross is wearing fake diamonds because of the recession, Mr. Pain assures us that his new diamond necklace is “Very very real I don’t know what fake feel like. $410,000. Hola senor recession proof. With 32 cars. Oldest child 5 and already got 4 million in her own account. I don’t do dumb [stuff] like this till I know the fams good. So don’t judge me frm what I buy. Judge me frm what I do…but thanx yo”[sic all over the place].
I am fairly certain that he is saying the new necklace is made of real diamonds and cost $410,000, that he owns 32 cars, and that his 5-year old is well-taken care of. And he thanks us.
No, thank YOU, T-Pain. Thank YOU.