LeBron James is 2009’s NBA MVP. You’d have to live under a rock not to know this. He completely dominated the season and kicked the very tall tail of Kobe Bryant, last year’s MVP. Receiving a ridunkulous number of votes, he left poor Kobe in a distant 2nd place.
And people love LeBron. They love him for his humor, for his incessant media butt-kissing, his completely adorable son (LeBron Jr., of course), and, most of all, for his incessant media butt-kissing. There’s one thing you have to say about LeBron James: He knows how to work a crowd. He can get the crowd behind him, he can get the city behind him, he can get the whole NBA behind him. He can even scare the bejeezus out of everyone at the 2007 ESPY Awards when he appears to slam-dunk his newborn, and we still want to cuddle up next to life-size LeBron dolls.
We'd Rather He Go Naked Than Wear A Stupid-Looking T-Shirt.
Just add a home video camera and you’ve got LeBron II: the sequel, age 4, shooting hoops and going viral on YouTube. Even his 4-year old gets mad press.
Endorsements, commercials, and Sneaker deals, oh my!
Dude can even go on Saturday Night Live and not make a total fool of himself. Other athletes have not fared so well in the acting arena (I SAW you on “Sabrina, the Teenaged Witch”, Brady Anderson). A special nod goes to David Wells and David Cone for appearing on SNL in drag, however, back in the day.
And then Kobe Bryant goes, MVP-less, into the NBA finals, and emerges a winner. That would be his 4th NBA Championship diamond ring and this one without Shaquille O’Neal. The MacDaddy of prizes: The NBA Championship Trophy. He wasn’t league MVP, but he got the Big Prize.
Not to be forgotten, LeBron decided he should wear his title a little more proudly. That is, he had t-shirts made that read “LBJ MVP”. In case we forgot. He may not have won the War, but he did win a great battle, and we’d better not forget it. Okay, one super-size t-shirt declaring his greatness. Not so unusual for a professional athlete. Bravado is part of the game.
Then our cuddly-as-a-box-full-of-kittens LeBron surfaces in St. Tropez wearing a t-shirt that says: “Check My $tats”. Lest we forget that he is well paid in Cleveland, we must also remember his endorsement deals, his magazine covers, and, tragically, a movie called “More Than A Game”. Hopefully, this will be a strict documentary and not have same stomach-churning, eye-averting effect that Shaquille O’Neal’s “Blue Chips” or “Kazaam” had on us. Time will tell. Regardless, LeBron James, age 24, could buy and sell us all several times over.
But really, LeBron, we like you. Your charm in the media has endeared you to us, despite your colossal size and tendency to repeat yourself. You really needn’t remind us that you won a prestigious award and make a lot of money. We get it.
Now but some plain white t-shirts before you turn into a deeply-tanned Bill Laimbeer.