Not only does Basel, Switzerland get to boast the most amazing diamond jewelry district in the world, not only does it have more millions in loose diamonds than any other place on earth, but it also boasts Roger Federer as a native. This Saturday, in a town storied for diamonds and romance, Roger Federer married his preggers girlfriend, Mirka Vavrinek. He announced the wedding on his personal website. Straight women all over the world sighed a collective “Come ON” after hearing that the champion-of-everything-not-Australian exchanged wedding rings with his honey.
Just Give Up, Ladies.
After a season during which we lost to marriage:
Tom Brady (makes football worth watching)
Josh Duhamel (don’t know what show he’s on, don’t care)
Michael C. Hall (Sexiest Serial Killer)
Bruce Willis (hot even now)
Ryan Reynolds (Canadian, but still hot)
Timbaland (we still likes the beats and tha bling)
And David Letterman (laughing is important)
…it seems foolish to go on. Are they any good-looking, heterosexual, talented top-earning men to hope for anymore? As we lose Roger Federer, and having seen his reaction after losing his Number One ranking to Rafael Nadal, we are only left with one question: who do you think cried more at the ceremony, the bride or the groom?