No one read this news without the same thing in mind, however briefly.  Method Man, member of the Wu Tang Clan and notorious advocate for the legal and constant use of marijuana, seems to have misplaced his tax forms since, um, 2002.  And the IRS was vigilant.  They sent those forms and reminder letters like clockwork, but Method Man didn’t seem to notice them.  He probably walked right by the mail on his way to pillage a box of Chips Ahoy.  Hey, it can happen.

"Dude, Remind Me That I've Gotta Pay...um...what?"

"Dude, Remind Me That I've Gotta Pay...um...what?"

Method Man is not, mind you, short of cash.  He has made piles of money as a member of Wu Tang, as a solo artist, and as an actor, starring in such movie classics as “How High” with Redman and “Soul Plane” with Snoop Dogg (probably NOT the best influences).  You might also remember him from “Garden State” as the bellhop who hooks up the kids with a helium canister.  He has also had recurring roles on various television series, including ‘The Wire’ and ‘Oz’.  He tried to have a series of his own on Fox, but didn’t like the way it was handled.  According to a source, he now prefers to stick with roles that are offered by friends.  Probably because they’ll call him to remind him to show up. 

As a rap artist from the era of “bling bling”, before it was called “ice” and before they settled on “diamonds”, Meth has a huge collection of diamond jewelry.  Diamond-covered pendants, an IceTek Quintempo II watch, and huge diamond bracelets were his trademarks.  In addition, he is known to have spent $40,000 on a diamond bracelet for his (at the time) 3-year old daughter.   Money is not an issue for him.  Not for years.  Remembering that the government wanted a piece of that is another story.

Then, a few days ago, the police came a-knocking with a tow truck to repossess his 2008 Lincoln Navigator.  Rumors that the rapper was in financial trouble began swirling.  Method Man’s response: he laughed.  Natch.  In an interview from the set of a video from his upcoming album, Meth explained exactly what happened, saying, “Myself, I’m a pothead.  It’s no secret.  Everyone knows that.  I go on the road and forget everything else.  Sure [the IRS] sent letters to my house saying ‘We need this money’.  They started sending them in 2002.”

–a sigh of relief as we realize that Method Man still has his long term memory–

The rapper went on to explain, “Now I’m thinking we’ve gotta get our truck back, which means I have to get all my paperwork together.  That means going through the mail, ‘cuz I got mail like woah.”  He laments that he was unable to just write a check at the time that the police showed up and avoid the temporary loss of his Navigator.  But that’s not how it works.  The repo men do their job.  The IRS needs to get the money directly.  Meth claims to have the money, saying that “I’ve found checks from 2005 that have never been opened yet.  And we’re talking a significant amount of money!  But I never opened the [IRS] letters.” 

We can assume that Meth was otherwise occupied, playing video games for 8 hours straight and getting distracted by, well, anything.  When being interviewed by the New York Daily News, the reporter referenced the Afroman song “Because I Got High”.  Method Man laughed, saying, “Exactly!  Because I got high, I forgot to pay.  It was stupid.  I’m an idiot for that.”

Fortunately, Method Man’s career is still picking up speed as his new CD is getting ready to drop and the acting roles keep coming.  Hopefully, he will have someone remind him where to be.  But if he’s driving, be patient.  He’s probably going really, really slow.

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