Woman Requires Bailout Package For Enormous Family
The outrageous phenomenon that is octoplet mom Nadya Suleman has taken ‘out of control’ to a new level. We were able to look the other way when the already-on-welfare mother of six used in-vitro fertilization to conceive her new litter. We let it slide when she suddenly had her Angelina Jolie-style lip injections. We tried to ignore it when we realized that she still lives with her mother and plans to move the latest gaggle of tax-funded younglings into the three-bedroom house as well.
Herein Lies A Boatload of Crazy.
And then…she set up her website. TheNadyaSulemanfamily.com was set up to accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover, and (of course) PayPal. She also provides a mailing address if you’re just in the mood to shove some cash into an envelope. If she gives her home address, then she is as stupid as, um, someone without a job who decides to have fourteen children. Never mind.
Shortly after the website was set up, morons from around the globe were free to send donations so (God forbid) Ms. Suleman wouldn’t have to get a job. Some people have actually offered financial support and donations of diapers and baby wipes. Companies hoping to cash in on the media frenzy have offered cars and baby furniture (I should have put money on that—see previous post). To celebrate the idiocy of the public at large, she went to Nordstrom and treated herself to some MAC cosmetics. No generics for this breeding machine. She evidently wants to look GOOD, despite her claims that she hasn’t had sex in eight years. I guess it’s how she looks to herself that counts. It better be, because, after a few weeks for the planet to absorb the information about the Ultimate Mom-On-The-Dole, people are starting to get a little irritable.
According to Mike Furtney of the Killeen Furtney Group, an LA public relations firm that represented Nadya Suleman until last week: “I don’t think anyone anticipated this response”.
Duh.
Evidently, while representing her, Furtney got nasty comments and both phoned and emailed death threats. Her website was briefly taken down after more than 65,000 emails—most of them negative—caused the server to crash repeatedly (USA Today). California Senator Sam Aanestad notes that, “The outrage we’re hearing in our office is from regular people trying to raise their families in a poor economy”, especially when the State of California will end up footing the bill for her hospital bill and future expenses. Currently, the state pays her $490 each month in food stamps and Social Security disability payments.
Suleman–a single mother (she really needs a term of her own to describe this situation)–did, in fact, exchange wedding rings with a man she met while in college. Ironically, it was her inability to conceive that ended the marriage. Then she met a bonehead in a bar and decided that she didn’t like him enough to date him, but he was a perfect source of DNA. He has never met any of the products of their scientific union. That man—David Solomon—is sitting somewhere right now, drinking a beer, wiping his brow and knowing that he totally dodged a bullet by not getting into a relationship with Her Royal Craziness.
As far as dating in the future goes, Suleman is pensive: “Boyfriends? I think I’d have to be extremely selfish. I cannot maintain a social life and be a mother.”
That would be selfish indeed.