Madonna, following the break-up of her marriage to Guy Ritchie, seemed to become the uber-cougar by moving on to young Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez.  It is rumored that the two were seeing each other while they were both still married to other people.  Stories about the two—being seen together in New York; Rodriguez entering Madonna’s New York apartment late at night; hostilities between Madonna and Rodriguez’s now ex-wife—were all over every newspaper, magazine, and website.  Now that both are single, and despite a Hamptons weekend getaway at Jerry Seinfeld’s estate together only a few weeks ago, it seems that Madonna, age 50, has let her ballplayer become a free agent. 

Talk of Madonna’s love of younger men began with personal trainer/baby-daddy Carlos Leon, now 42.  She exchanged wedding rings (her second trip down the aisle) with Guy Ritchie, now 41.  Along came A-Rod, another Latin heartthrob, now age 33.  With a 17 year age difference, and with Madonna’s rumored freakish obsession with youth—hers and her men’s—he had a fighting chance.

Madonna Was On Her First Marriage Before This Kid Was Born.

Madonna Was On Her First Marriage Before This Kid Was Born.

Until Madonna went to Brazil.  Everyone knows that they grow freakishly good-looking people there.  That, combined with everyone’s inherent Latin-ness, made it a virtual erotic playground for Madge.  It was there that she found Jesus.  During a December photoshoot for W Magazine, Madonna was introduced to the then-21 year-old fresh man-meat Jesus Luz.  Even during that first meeting, Madonna made her intentions clear by pulling the baby Jesus toward her in a provocative pose.  She then invited him to join her on the remainder of her Sticky & Sweet Tour. 

Of course she did.

And either young Jesus was drawn to Madonna because of her timeless beauty (read: plastic surgery), or because he has Mommy issues, or because he knew that he could ride the Madonna fame train all the way to the bank.  Care to venture a guess which?

To celebrate the big 2-2, Madonna flew her boy to England to celebrate with her, although no pictures exist of that tryst.  But now, just a few days ago, Madonna was seen in Manhattan having a lunch date at Marcelleria Italian steakhouse, and was later seen with Madonna and her adopted son, David Banda.  Now Jesus is meeting the family. 

After meeting Madonna, Jesus began requesting $100,000 per show, when he had been getting $225 per show prior to the divine intervention.  His former agent Sergios Mattos told the New York Post that Jesus stopped taking his calls altogether, and has now signed with Ford Models, one of the most famous model agencies in the world.  Although Mattos was initially saddened by the loss, he told the Brazilian website Glamurama.com.br that “…now I have a new Jesus (Spanish model Jesus Perez).  This is a much better Jesus, and he’s not a fan of Madonna’s.” 
Mattos better watch his back, however, if his new Jesus is younger than 22.

Madonna loves three things above all else: money, using Catholic imagery to irritate the Church, and Latin men.  Jesus Luz is a triple threat.  He’s Latin; since he’s Brazilian, he’s probably Catholic—and dating someone who left the Church to become a Jew (of all things), and the headlines she’s making about being Madonna with Jesus is making her more famous than, well…when John Lennon said it, the Catholic Church denounced him and Paul McCartney was still apologizing for it 40 years later, so we’ll just say this:

Madonna, with her young Jesus, is more famous than ever.

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