Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Bret Michaels has now had three seasons of his VH1 reality show “Rock of Love” to find the skank of his dreams.  He has had a parade of women—all silicone enhanced and virtually brain-dead—competing, yes competing, for his love.  He has watched these lovely ladies do a competitive strip-tease, has watched them drink their faces off, and has even witnessed one woman do a shot from the body part of another woman not meant for that kind of thing.  So many times has the line been crossed from just a little gross to so disgusting my retinas nearly bleed that watching the show has become impossible.  The show is airing now, but Bret has already revealed that—try to hold in your surprise—he did not find his one true love on the second season “Rock of Love: Tour Bus”.

After the parade of silicone and stripper heels has passed and Bret finds himself alone at night, absent-mindedly stroking his wig, his thoughts turn to the one woman who really, truly, rocks his world: Jennifer Aniston. 

They Don't Pose Like This On "Friends".

 Huh? 

Not one single woman on either season of his reality tv show looked like a real, non-cosmetically-enhanced human.  They were all either young dumb blondes itching for fame or old dumb blondes itching for a chance to be near the lead singer from “Poison”.  Certainly, they were all itching, anyway.

Yet Bret woos Jennifer with these words: “I find Jennifer to be very hot, smart, funny, down-to-earth and a great actress…most importantly, she seems like someone you could take home to meet mom”.  Unless Bret’s mom has never seen his television shows, music videos, or him in person since 1981, she is probably unshockable at this point.  Once you’ve dated a porn star or two and made a sex tape with Pamela Anderson (and who hasn’t?), mom would probably be content to meet someone with no open sores.

John Mayer, who has managed to keep any escapades of his out of the news and off reality television, is Jennifer’s boyfriend.  Rumor has it that this week, as a 40th birthday present, she will receive an engagement ring from him. 
Michaels says that he respects the relationship between Jennifer and John, but “should John fall out of the picture for some reason…I’m just saying.”

Yeah.  I’m sure you’ll be the first person she calls.  Bret, you’re definitely next in line—after  Angelina Jolie’s brother.