Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Feeling Down?  SSRIs Not Working?  Want a Little Nosh?  Everyone knows that the holidays can be a distressing time.  Maybe you don’t have the money to buy great gifts for your loved ones.  Maybe you live far away from your family. Maybe you’re really just not that lovable.  You find yourself filled with self-doubt, depression, and you feel like you just aren’t worth the oxygen it takes to keep you alive.

Great News!  This is a problem you can buy your way out of.  A little gold can go a long way (at least 30 or so feet) to make you feel better about yourself.  Artist and Designer Tobias Wong created something better than chocolate, better than Viagra, better than Prozac to help lift your spirits around the holidays, or any time.  For only $429.00, you can purchase 3 capsules filled with 24-carat gold leaf.  After taking these unusual medicinals, you will, literally, be worth gold.  For at least as long as it takes the gold leaf to travel the 30 feet through your digestive tract, anyway.

Gold Pills Make You Worth Something!

Remembering back to the 1990s, there was a drink called Goldschlager appearing in bars everywhere.  It is a cinnamon-flavored schnapps with little bits of gold leaf in it.  The bottles are cool-looking, with the bits of gold floating around, and it isn’t particularly expensive, but it has a bite like an angry tiger.  The gold leaf, like most things, would just pass, but it certainly made vomiting more vibrant and interesting.

The product details for the “Gold Pills” by Tobias Wong, according to gnr8.biz, read: “Indulge your ‘inner’ self with these 24k gold leaf capsules.  Digest to increase self-worth”.  So THAT’S how it’s done.  Why pay for therapy or medications, or socialize with loved ones, when all you need to feel good about yourself, to value yourself, is take a few gold pills at $143 apiece?  Certainly, you can feel worth the cost of the pills (plus shipping) for up to 24 hours—more if you can hold it.  But, eventually, as noted above, they, too, shall pass.  How will you feel after you’ve spent $429.00 for a day’s worth of self-love and have nothing to show for it but sparkling feces?

Killer Diamond Engagement Ring Might Be Smarter.

If, during your 24 hours of feeling worthwhile, you decide to finally propose to your girlfriend, you can buy the “Killer Diamond Engagement Ring” for your intended.  The engagement ring is also a Tobias Wong creation, with the razor-sharp diamond mounted upside-down so it can cut skin to the bone.  Really.  Nothin’ says lovin’ like a ring that can kill an attacker or key a car.  This ring is also carefully designed so, while issuing a beat-down to some thug, your blushing bride-to-be will not get any cuts herself.  And, while it is unconventional, and your girlfriend might look at you strangely when she first sees the ring, it is probably better to propose than to explain a $500.00 trip to the bathroom.