Christina Aguilera has finally found something to pierce that doesn’t make the rest of us cross our legs: her heart.  The former teen-pop-star-turned-sexually-edgy-pop-star-turned-uber-mommy received a locket for her first Mother’s Day from husband Jordan Bratman.  The ruby pendant, secretly designed for her, contains a picture of their son, Max.  It also features his name, a diamond-studded heart, and—somewhat disturbingly–a droplet of blood.  Christina told InStyle that “I love the symbolism of the blood droplet.  It’s like Max has pierced my heart”. 

However sweet the sentiment might seem, it still brings to mind the everlasting love between Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton, who wore vials of each other’s blood around their necks to signify the eternal love between them.  Oh, wait, that didn’t last, right?  Isn’t Angie with some other guy now?

Before Christina’s pierced heart, there was her $54,000 20-carat diamond engagement ring.  Even the wedding rings are non-traditional—at least Jordan’s is.  Christina wears her ring on her finger, as most people tend to, but Jordan, not a fan of wearing rings, chose a different path.  Instead, he wears a lock-shaped pendant around his neck inscribed with the word “wedlock”, according to Access Hollywood.  Inside the pendant is his wedding ring, which Stephen Webster, the jewelry designer, placed there so it would be ‘closer to his heart’.  He can always take the ring out and actually wear it on his finger, but he instead prefers the humiliation of wearing a lock around his neck.  It is definitely a man’s God-given right to look like a possession rather than a husband.

The whole ‘closer to his heart’ thing reminds one a bit too much of an episode of “Sex & the City”, in which Carrie wears her engagement ring from Aidan on a chain around her neck.  That is what we call “foreshadowing”.  However creepy and odd the nuptials between Jordan Bratman and Christina Aguilera have been, they have been married for 3 years, have an adorable son, and, if her song lyrics are autobiographical, she really seems to love that little mensch.  But, for the love of God, Jordan, take off the lock and wear the ring.  You look foolish.

Permalink Leave your comment