Diamonds, Engagement Rings & Diamond Jewelry in popular culture

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that I am a God-fearing Christian; that I live by the teachings of Jesus; and that Christmas means more to me than an opportunity to score tons of gifts. Let’s also say that I decorate my house each Christmas season with a tasteful amount of lights and plastic reindeer, and that I carefully place one appropriately-sized, light-up, waving Santa Claus in my front yard to extend the merriment of the season to passers-by.

No matter how much I love Christmas, or love Jesus, or want to share my beliefs with others, do I want this to be among the trimmings in front of my home.

Not In This Lifetime, Thanks (courtesy afa.net)

So please, please do not buy this for me for Christmas this year. I cannot, in good conscience, put it up. Never mind that I actually like my neighbors and don’t want to offend them. This is the kind of thing that could get me killed. And my beaten, bloody corpse is not what the family wants to find under the Christmas tree this year.

I have always respected everyone’s religious beliefs. I don’t care if someone is Christian or Jewish or Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu or even Scientologist (although I do rather enjoy mocking Scientology and its inherent silliness). The point is that there are much more accurate ways to judge a person than his or her religion. For example: clothing style, intelligence, awareness of world events, spelling.

I have also never been offended by anyone saying “Merry Christmas”. I know that, after years of not worrying about political correctness, “Happy Holidays” sounds a bit cumbersome. It also seems to suck all of the joy out of the sentiment. I have in my head a conversion chart of sorts. It is like Babylon software in my brain. It takes “Merry Christmas” and turns it into whatever thing will make me smile that day. Sometimes it translates to “Have a great day”, and other times, my brain hears: “Your butt looks great in those jeans!” It’s all about perspective.

This year, I have decided that I will be nice to people and smile, regardless of the nearness of December 25. Instead of waiting for Santa Claus to buy me diamond studs, I have chosen to buy them myself. Santa has enough on his mind, anyway. “Naughty and Nice” lists must get more complicated as the years pass. I am a simple girl with simple needs, and I don’t care how easy this thing is to assemble, if it only takes minutes and only requires a screwdriver. It doesn’t matter how waterproof it is or that shipping is included in its low, low price.

This year, I will remind my friends, family, neighbors and everyone who drives by of the real meaning of Christmas by being a good person—and by looking genuinely surprised by those diamond studs.